Part two of this article looks at the incredible potential fathers have to influence the choices their daughters make.\u00a0 This significant paternal influence was illustrated to me very powerfully recently.\u00a0 The other day my teenage daughter was watching a modeling program on television.\u00a0 On this episode, as part of their training, the young women hoping to become famous models were taking acting lessons.\u00a0 The acting teacher was instructing them on how to cry on command.\u00a0 The technique she used was to give them a blank piece of paper and told them to imagine that it was a note from their father saying he was leaving them forever\u2014that he never wanted to see them again.\u00a0 Every one of the young women spontaneously burst into tears, some of them sobbing in anguish.\u00a0 The instructor then told them to rip up the paper and release their anger at their fathers.\u00a0 These young women ferociously tore into the papers with violent anger.<\/p>\n
Of all the illustrations she could have used, she chose an example involving the girls\u2019 fathers abandoning them.\u00a0 Either these young women were already the best actresses I\u2019ve ever seen, or it was a gripping testament to the power her father plays in the life of a woman.<\/p>\n
Role Models<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>Fathers set a huge role model for their daughters regarding the qualities she looks for in men and the standards she maintains.\u00a0 He is the first man in her life and models how a man should treat a woman, how a man should act, and how a man shows healthy love and affection to a woman.\u00a0 He also sets the standard for how a daughter feels she deserves to be treated by men.\u00a0 He even determines how a girl feels about herself.<\/p>\n Fathers who are active, loving, positive role models in their daughter\u2019s lives provide them with the opportunity to use those character traits as a measuring tape for future men in their lives.\u00a0 The way in which a man treats his wife speaks volumes to a girl on how she should expect to be treated and valued by men later in her life.\u00a0 If her father shows that he values her mother as someone worthy of love and respect, a girl will expect that for herself from her husband.\u00a0 If he exhibits a model of abuse or disrespect for her mother, a girl may feel that she deserves to be treated that way as a wife as well.<\/p>\n And if her father shows his daughter love, respect, and appreciation for who she is, she will believe that about herself as a woman, no matter what anyone else thinks.\u00a0 A little girl who has her father\u2019s love knows what it\u2019s like to be unconditionally loved by a man.\u00a0 She knows the feeling of safety and security that love creates.<\/p>\n Conversely, men who abandon or abuse their daughters set them up for a lifetime of pain, distrust, and feelings of worthlessness.\u00a0 You can feel the pain in this woman\u2019s statement, \u201cI have expectations of being special, loved, cared for, and protected that my spouse is not able to live up to.\u00a0 I grew up feeling angry, unloved, unappreciated, not accepted.\u00a0 I knew my value, but I struggle with believing that others know my value, even God.\u201d<\/p>\n When men are angry or disrespectful to the females in their families, it sets their daughters up to expect this kind of treatment from men.\u00a0 If a man does not provide and protect them, they have no expectations of this behavior from the men they enter into relationships with.\u00a0 Why would a woman willingly marry a man who can\u2019t or won\u2019t hold a job to support his family?\u00a0 Why would she intentional marry a man who abuses or abandons her?\u00a0 Probably, she wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Perhaps that was the type of man that was modeled for her growing up and she is subconsciously attracted to that model, believing she deserves that kind of treatment and is unworthy of anything better.<\/p>\n A Father\u2019s Influence on a Woman\u2019s Choices<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n One area that a woman\u2019s father plays a major role in is the sexual decision-making process of a woman.\u00a0 For instance, girls with uninvolved or absent fathers tend to become sexually active at an earlier age than their fathered peers.\u00a0 They also have more sexual partners.<\/p>\n A woman\u2019s father also plays a significant role in her relationship choices, either consciously or unconsciously.\u00a0 A woman with a positive relationship with her dad might tend to gravitate toward men who have the same characteristics.\u00a0 Women who resent or despise their fathers would look for a man with the opposite qualities, or marry a man with similar qualities and resent him.\u00a0 This can cause much confusion if a woman is not attuned to these influences.<\/p>\n Women who have not had a model of healthy masculinity in their lives often have trouble detecting predators, abusers, and men who will abandon them.\u00a0 They are in some ways like a lamb left to the wolves.\u00a0 Oftentimes, these women continue to choose the same \u201ctype\u201d of men, getting the same results over and over again.<\/p>\n Men, as Father\u2019s Day approaches please remember the power, influence, and responsibility you have in your daughter\u2019s (and sons) lives. \u00a0Father\u2019s Day is not about ties or other gifts. \u00a0It\u2019s about knowing you matter and that no one or no thing can take your place. \u00a0You matter! \u00a0Happy Father\u2019s Day!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n