This is a great joke!

I nabbed this yesterday at Paws and Claws when I was in for the volunteer/membership meeting.  A Minister, A Priest, and A Rabbi by Albert Tapper and Peter Press (Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2000. ISBN 0-7407-0503-2). This is my favorite joke so far:

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So, what’s your story?” The first man replied, “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I cam home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my twenty-fifth floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony and, sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, twenty-five floors above ground! I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell–but even after twenty-five stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned, but okey. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I ran into the kitchen, gabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge, where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me and I had a heart attack and died, there on the balcony.” “That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said St. Peter, and he let the man in. The second man came up and St. Peter explained to him about heaven being full. Again he asked the man for his story. “It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the twenty-sixth floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hold on for very long. Suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, but all of a sudden he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally, I just let go, but again, I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator came falling out of the aky and crushed me instantly, and now I’m here.” Once again, St. Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line. Again St. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. “Picture this,” said the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside a refrigerator . . . ”

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