How to Forgive a Monster

How to Forgive a Monster May 11, 2013

A few days ago, in a post titled Spiritual, but Human, I shared my struggle with hateful feelings and non-forgiveness toward the monster who brutally held three women in captivity for nearly a decade in Cleveland. My feelings were raw and honest. Thankfully, as the days have passed, an empowered and freeing perspective has emerged.

In Resurrecting Venus, I wrote a chapter called Forgiveness is Freedom (shared here). In this writing I explained that when you hold onto anger, resentment, and non-forgiveness, you are the only one suffering. Think about it, when you’re holding negativity toward another, does it do anything to them?

No. Instead, you immerse yourself in the venom you want them to take. You give your power over to the very thing upsetting you–in this case a monster– and enable it to continue wreaking havoc and evil. In your non-forgiveness you empower and feed the very thing you despise and its reign of terror continues.

Forgiveness is an act of self-preservation and care. It has nothing to do with the one being forgiven. It is always and only about you.

We must forgive for our own health, peace, and healing. We must forgive to take our power back and use that power to create what we want to see in the world.

Forgiveness is not the acceptance, condoning, or forgetting of what’s occurred. It does not mean loving, approving, or accepting another or their behavior. We still hold them accountable for their actions.

We release the perpetrator to justice and release ourselves to freedom and love for those who’ve suffered. We take our power back and turn the other cheek by shifting our attention and energy away from the perpetrator and fixing our gaze on healing, preventative and helping actions.

Through forgiveness we become alchemists, transmuting pain into loving acts. We depose the monster by starving it and make our inner and outer world a better place.

I forgive and I go free.

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