{"id":1252,"date":"2015-04-14T06:02:12","date_gmt":"2015-04-14T12:02:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/ahappymedium\/?p=1252"},"modified":"2015-04-14T06:06:17","modified_gmt":"2015-04-14T12:06:17","slug":"anoutsider","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/ahappymedium\/2015\/04\/anoutsider\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You an Outsider"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p style=\"color: #170417; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/222\/2015\/04\/entertainaclown.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1254 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/222\/2015\/04\/entertainaclown.jpg\" alt=\"entertainaclown\" width=\"381\" height=\"183\"><\/a>\u201cCharacter cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #170417; text-align: center;\">Helen Keller<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cThe one person that should have loved me no matter what didn\u2019t think I was worth the fight. She didn\u2019t think I was worth any love, and I don\u2019t want to give her the time now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">The lady in spirit hung her head in shame as her daughter explained their tumultuous relationship. \u201cIt\u2019s true, I did everything wrong. She\u2019s right. After Cara\u2019s father left me, my best friend was alcohol. I hurt so badly and I couldn\u2019t stop. Okay, I didn\u2019t want to stop and feel.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cExcuses,\u201d Cara cried. \u201cShe was always filled with excuses! Wasn\u2019t I worth more than the bottle? I felt like an outsider in my own family!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cMy drinking was suicide and I know that now. Please tell her I\u2019m sorry.\u201d Cara\u2019s mom asked and then disappeared.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cIs she\u00a0just\u00a0sorry for herself or for what she did to me and all that loved her and wanted to be loved by her?\u201d she asked me between sobs.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">It was a question I couldn\u2019t answer, but I knew what she felt like. I had not been in her very situation, but we\u2019ve all felt like the outsider, haven\u2019t we? It hurts. Many times there isn\u2019t explanation and we\u2019re left with a lot of pain that needs to be released.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">I grew up in Detroit. I saw and communicated with spirits. I went to a Lutheran school where that wasn\u2019t excepted, nor was it excepted in my own home. Was an introvert\u00a0and horribly\u00a0shy. Had a sick mom. Oh, and I could go on and on just as we all could, but it came down to that I felt alone. I felt like an outsider, yet not even knowing what the inside was or who was graced to be in the in.<\/p>\n<p>I remember my parents taking me to a new church in a wealthy suburb. As they went to Bible study they had me go to Sunday School \u2013 something I admit I didn\u2019t like no matter what the church, but especially in a new place.\u00a0When\u00a0the teacher\u00a0asked me to state my name and where I lived and I answered Detroit, the classroom erupted into laughs, including the\u00a0leader. I was mortified and ran out, hiding in the bathroom until it was time to meet my parents. But that moment was just one in a million times where I felt like an outsider. I was never embarrassed or ashamed as to who I was or where I lived or who my parents were, though. And none of those examples of feeling on the outside changed me,\u00a0instead\u00a0they helped me understand myself and others. It wasn\u2019t until later in life I realized being an outsider wasn\u2019t a bad thing. I just had to let go of what was expected. It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it tries to get away.That is when you have to move through and stop avoiding it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">I know so many of you who have hurt hearts and the voice within you saying you don\u2019t have any strength left to keep going. I\u2019ve been there, face planted in the carpet, soaked with tears and a hurt heart that burned. You might be thinking of giving up and giving in. I\u2019m telling you that it can be okay. That you are worth it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">And that being on the outside isn\u2019t a bad thing at all because there are other outsiders to help comfort and who understand. You have to focus on you and invest in people worth investing in; situations worth investing in. And when you feel especially lost, keep telling yourself that it\u2019s not your monkeys, not your circus, and to stop entertaining the clowns in your life.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Cara came back to see me about two years later.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cIs my mom here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">I nodded yes.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cI\u2019d like to talk to her now. I realized that I was becoming her, just without the alcohol. I was avoiding, or trying to avoid, my life scars and hers too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Cara didn\u2019t forget, but instead gave herself time to pause and contemplate. It was then she was able to conquer and come to terms with what happened. It\u00a0helped her\u00a0move through and move on.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Do you feel like the outsider? It\u2019s okay to be different. It\u2019s okay to have scars. It\u2019s okay to be comfortable in your own skin. It\u2019s okay to let go of past anger. It\u2019s okay for you to have desires. It\u2019s okay to be an outsider. After all, we\u2019re the ones that get the fresh air. The rain sometimes too, but the storms pass and we get rainbows as a reward.<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #170417; text-align: center;\"><i>When people make you feel unwanted, don\u2019t leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they won\u2019t. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What\u2019s meant to be will end up good and what\u2019s not \u2013 won\u2019t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can\u2019t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don\u2019t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #170417; text-align: center;\">\u2013 Unknown<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #170417; text-align: left;\">Believe,<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Kristy Robinett<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a style=\"color: #219ed8;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.kristyrobinett.com\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">www.kristyrobinett.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cCharacter cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.\u201d Helen Keller \u201cThe one person that should have loved me no matter what didn\u2019t think I was worth the fight. She didn\u2019t think I was worth any love, and I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[539,541,6,538,540,15],"class_list":["post-1252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-helen-keller","tag-hurt-heart","tag-kristy-robinett","tag-outsider","tag-pause","tag-psychic-medium"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You an Outsider<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. 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