{"id":3818,"date":"2021-12-22T13:32:53","date_gmt":"2021-12-22T19:32:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/allsetfree\/?p=3818"},"modified":"2021-12-23T09:32:28","modified_gmt":"2021-12-23T15:32:28","slug":"worst-christmas-songs-ranked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/allsetfree\/2021\/12\/worst-christmas-songs-ranked\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Worst Christmas Songs, Ranked"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/p>\n

Bah humbug!<\/p>\n

I hate Christmas songs.<\/p>\n

Not all of them, but most of them. Call me a Grinch. Call me a hater. I don\u2019t care. Most are kitschy, cheesy, and just plain annoying.<\/p>\n

Some, however, take it to the next level and must be destroyed as soon as possible.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s just five Christmas songs that need to be tossed into the dustbin of history.<\/p>\n

V. Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer<\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t mind the macabre nature of something. And nothing is darker than singing about your grandmother\u2019s death. But singing about her death in an upbeat, major key? Now that\u2019s just creepy! This song needs to die along with the grandma who drank too much spiked eggnog.<\/p>\n

IV. Little Drummer Boy<\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s just me, but singing snare rolls is just annoying. Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum? Unless you\u2019re Dwight and Angela. Then the song is hilarious, but only ironically so.<\/p>\n

III. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus<\/h2>\n

Nothing says Christmas cheer like a married elderly man who judges all your actions, sneaks into your house once a year, and then makes out with your mother. Oh, but he brings you presents (allegedly) so apparently it\u2019s cool? Yeah, I don\u2019t think so. If anyone\u2019s on the naughty list, it\u2019s someone who cheats on their wife with my mother.<\/p>\n

II. Baby, It\u2019s Cold Outside<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m gonna admit something to you: I actually like the musicality of this song, as well as the melody lines. However, it\u2019s the lyrics that ruin this jazzy tune. Encouraging her to stay and drink instead of going home? Yeah, not cool at all. I know the times were different when this song was written, but it probably should be out of our rotation today.<\/p>\n

I. Mary, Did You Know?<\/h2>\n

Most biblically-literate Christians will respond by saying, \u201cYes, Mary knew.\u201d Feminist theologians will definitely say that. I mean, it\u2019s pretty clear if you read Luke that Mary knew who her son was. For me, though, as a trained musician with a degree, it\u2019s not so much the lyrics that bug me, it\u2019s the melody. It has cheese-factor written all over it. It reminds me of all those other sappy worship songs I begrudgingly played all those years. That\u2019s why this song takes the top (or bottom) spot in my list. I can\u2019t listen to 30 seconds of this dumpster fire of a song without wanting to return everyone\u2019s gifts to the store (or Santa\u2019s workshop).<\/p>\n

\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll disagree with me on some of these. But I don\u2019t care. Art is subjective, and you are entitled to have your opinion, just like I am. Have a happy Christmas, and if you don\u2019t celebrate, have a good Saturday. Cheers!<\/p>\n

UPDATE: I realize that I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is about seeing your parents kiss. I was just making a joke. Also, I just listened to The Christmas Shoes and that is now the entire top 5 worst Christmas songs of all time. In fact, it\u2019s the worst song I\u2019ve ever heard. That key change in the chorus? The children singing. G to F to Em for the 1,000,000,000 time? I just can\u2019t. Someone make it stop!<\/p>\n

\n

If you wanna get to know me better, please follow me on social media. I\u2019m pretty active on all platforms:<\/p>\n

Facebook<\/a><\/p>\n

Twitter<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

Instagram<\/a><\/p>\n

YouTube<\/a><\/p>\n

Also, if you\u2019ve been digging my work on here, and want to see me be able to continue writing as close to full-time as humanly possible, please take a look at my Patreon page at\u00a0www.patreon.com\/mjdistefano<\/a>. Even\u00a0$1 a month helps bigly!!!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bah humbug! I hate Christmas songs. Not all of them, but most of them. Call me a Grinch. Call me a hater. I don\u2019t care. Most are kitschy, cheesy, and just plain annoying. Some, however, take it to the next level and must be destroyed as soon as possible. Here\u2019s just five Christmas songs that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2874,"featured_media":3821,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[141,1538,1508,504,1541,1544],"class_list":["post-3818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-christmas","tag-christmas-music","tag-holiday","tag-music","tag-santa","tag-santa-claus"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Worst Christmas Songs, Ranked<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bah humbug! I hate Christmas songs. Not all of them, but most of them. Call me a Grinch. Call me a hater. I don't care. 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