In the Name of the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful Precious Beloved<\/em><\/p>\nThis year\u2019s Father\u2019s Day is extra special for me: for one thing, I have the weekend off, and thus I can spend the day with my family and not have to worry about rounding and taking hospital call. More importantly, however, is that I will spend it with our newest addition: our son, Zacharia. I am so very grateful for his arrival to our family.<\/p>\n
Yet, as I reflect over fatherhood \u2013 especially as a Muslim \u2013 I realize that we Dads get a raw deal. In Islam, there is a huge emphasis placed on the importance of a mother. In a famous Prophetic Tradition, a man asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to which of his two parents he owes the most allegiance. The Prophet replied, \u201cYour mother\u201d three times.<\/p>\n
It is only by the grace of God that the man persisted in his questioning of the Prophet: after asking for a fourth time, the Prophet said, \u201cYour father.\u201d What if that man left after the Prophet said \u201cYour mother\u201d three times? Dad wouldn\u2019t have even gotten an \u201chonorable mention.\u201d<\/p>\n
In another tradition, the Prophet Muhammad told a man to take care of his ill mother because \u201cyou will find paradise underneath her feet.\u201d What\u2019s under my feet as a Dad? My children\u2019s gum that they left on the ground!<\/p>\n
Once, there was a man who was dying, and he could not utter the testimony of faith which Muslims are encouraged to say before death. The Prophet asked to see the man\u2019s mother (notice\u2026not his father). Apparently, during this man\u2019s life, he was persistently disobedient to his mother, and she had not forgiven him for it. It was only after she forgave her son, with the Prophet as a witness, that the man was able to utter the testimony of faith. This seems to suggest that our very salvation is at stake if we are bad to our mothers. But, our fathers\u2026<\/p>\n
Another time, a man came to the Prophet Muhammad and complained that his mother was ill-tempered. The Prophet replied, \u201cShe was not ill tempered when she kept you in her womb for nine months.\u201d The man insisted: \u201cSir, I am telling you the truth that she is ill-tempered.\u201d The Prophet said: \u201cShe was not ill-tempered when she used to keep awake the whole night for your sake and feed you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man then said: \u201cI have repaid my mother for all these favors.\u201d The Prophet then asked, \u201cHow have you repaid her?\u201d The man replied: \u201cI have helped her perform [the pilgrimage to Mecca] by putting her on my shoulders.\u201d The Prophet then said: \u201cCan you also repay the painful pangs which your mother bore at the time of your birth?\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh, picky, picky! Yes, my wife did carry our son for nine months. Yes, she did have to endure a lot of pain during delivery. Yes, she is up all night feeding him, changing him, and soothing him while I am fast asleep. Please don\u2019t get me wrong: I try to help, but I am really of no use to my boy at this stage in his life. Moreover, the one time I did try to change him, it ended up in an unmitigated disaster with poop and pee everywhere.<\/p>\n
But still, even though the mother, as the Quran (31:14) says, \u201cbore [the child] by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years,\u201d why can\u2019t I get paradise underneath my feet? I mean, I do go to work every day. Why are we Dads shafted? Just because my wife carried our children in her womb, stayed up many nights taking care of them, worried sick about their every living moment, worked hard for them every single day of her life, does that makes her \u201cmore special\u201d than me? Islam says, unequivocally, \u201cYES!\u201d<\/p>\n
And it is absolutely right and proper to do so.<\/p>\n
I am so very blessed to be a father: the joy my children bring to me is truly indescribable. Despite the \u201cinferior\u201d status of being a Dad, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Having said all of that, however, seeing what my wife had to go through during the pregnancy and delivery of all our children; seeing how much anguish she has when any of our children cries or is upset; seeing how much pain she suffered when our daughter died; it is only right and proper that Paradise lies underneath her feet.<\/p>\n
All I ask is, honey, please put in a good word for me to the Precious Beloved.<\/p>\n
Hesham Hassaballa is a columnist <\/a>at Patheos and\u00a0a Chicago-based doctor and writer. His latest book is Noble Brother: The Story of the Prophet Muhammad in Poetry (Faithful Word Press). You can read more of his writings at www.drhassaballa.com<\/a>. This article orginally appeared in Chicago Now<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"In the Name of the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful Precious Beloved This year\u2019s Father\u2019s Day is extra special for me: for one thing, I have the weekend off, and thus I can spend the day with my family and not have to worry about rounding and taking hospital call. More importantly, however, is that I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":590,"featured_media":4795,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,6],"tags":[98,230,227,1500,26,226,229,52,228,30],"class_list":["post-4794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","category-hesham-hassaballa","tag-american-muslims","tag-fathers-day","tag-fathers","tag-hesham-hassaballa","tag-islam","tag-mothers","tag-muslim-fathers","tag-muslims","tag-prophet","tag-prophet-muhammad"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>In the Name of the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful Precious Beloved<\/em><\/p>\n