I became somewhat fascinated by this, by the odd fact that each of them has a whole ten years ahead of them before they get \u201chere\u201d \u2013 wherever \u201chere\u201d is. I wondered what each one dreamed of being, of doing out there in the \u201creal world\u201d one day.<\/span> I thought of where I am now, and where many of my friends are. And it dawned on me that there was no way in hell<\/span> I could have seen \u201cthis\u201d ten years ago.<\/p>\n Ten years ago my plan was to go to business school, become an accountant, and make lots of money. <\/p>\n Thank goodness some things don\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And for the most part, for many years my life was going quite well. And I had absolutely no idea where it was going. It just was.<\/span> Challenges arose and I met them, or tried and moved on.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until I was drawn into the deep illusion of having it all figured out that I received one of the toughest blows of my life. I was engaged to a woman who, on paper (big name degrees, fancy job) was perfect<\/span>. The future suddenly opened<\/span> before me like never before. The pieces were all in place. Then the engagement dissolved. Real life is often not as pretty as the paper it\u2019s printed on. A future that I\u2019d come to cling to, to fear losing, with which I had deeply identified, was <\/span>gone<\/span>. A future, gone.<\/p>\n And\u2026 A new future created.<\/p>\n But not simply in the shallow sense of, \u201cI\u2019ll get over it, I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d But rather a realization of more than the fact that this person wasn\u2019t right, the realization that life and the future are always in flux<\/span>.<\/p>\n So beware of ever thinking you\u2019ve got it all figured out. Ever. In any way.<\/span><\/p>\n As a philosopher, my career depends a great deal on getting concepts right<\/span>.<\/span> Yet another attempt at knowing. However, in recent conversations, online and off, my \u201cknowledge\u201d of anatt\u0101<\/span> (not-self) has grown in such a way as to undercut some of my views on the term. (insert favorite \u201cbeginners-mind\u201d quote here.)<\/p>\n So, returning to my crunches at the gym and the Art of Not Knowing\u2026<\/p>\n Do we ever know<\/span>? (uh oh, the philosopher in me is screaming to come out.) I\u2019m a currently devout contextualist<\/a> \u2013 or coherentist<\/a> \u2013 and not too concerned with the differences or problems therein. (there, enough.)<\/p>\n More importantly is what we <\/span>do<\/span> with knowledge.<\/span> Number one, don\u2019t cling<\/span>. Number two, share with others<\/span> (but I\u2019m getting ahead of myself). Number three, keep working and trust that things will be okay<\/span>. Number four, be humble<\/span>. For Chrissake, you might be wrong about a thing or two! <\/span>Number five, be forgiving<\/span>. Those idiots who were sooooo wrong yesterday might actually be right today (if you need help with this, see number four).<\/p>\n Enough of that.<\/p>\n One of my greatest fortunes in life has been knowing some truly amazing old people (you know, over <\/span>30).<\/span> My friend Larry, for instance, is a 60-something retired oil-company manager Catholic-convert, former minister, former new-age con-man of a sort, former accountant (why he ever gave up the accounting I still don\u2019t know).<\/span> He\u2019s also one of the kindest, most generous and thoughtful people I\u2019ve ever known. My Pali-friend (co-learner), Matt, has likewise led a succession of \u201clives\u201d from minister with a mastery of Greek and Hebrew to \u201ctracker\u201d to dude-ranch cowboy and now wants to know Pali and teach mindfulness. Go figure. <\/span><\/p>\n I also had a bit of an encounter with spiritual counseling recently when a meditation student of mine asked for some spiritual\/Buddhist\/religious perspective on some recent tough times in her life. Looking back, I think I talked too much. By that I mean that she pretty well had things figured out<\/span> \u2013 she knew that things were gonna be rough, and her attitude showed that she was accepting, and even beginning to forgive.<\/p>\n It was humbling, trying to be something of a guide or teacher or something, when watching this young woman thinking and feeling through emotions in a much more mature way than I than I would have. What do I know? At that time, pretty much nothing. Because at that time knowledge only would have gotten in the way<\/span>.<\/p>\n So to have things \u201cfigured out\u201d at 29 is perhaps about as ridiculous as having them figured out at 19 or 50 or 65. The key, instead, may be simply to <\/span>not know<\/span>. <\/span>And learning to not know<\/span> can take some work. But I\u2019d encourage everyone to give it a try.<\/p>\n As I did my umpteenth crunch at the gym tonight, watching the students go by, it dawned on me that I\u2019m getting old. Now, not in any earth-shattering, dread-inspiring way, but in a gentle, \u201coh\u201d sort of way. Part of this is that I\u2019m 29 now and most people at the University gym are about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_fyeYpxfdjuI\/SxioFwehevI\/AAAAAAAAAu8\/RbLMBnLJDqc\/s1600-h\/meanddave.jpg\")
<\/a>My best friend Dave and me, about 10 years ago (his tequila).<\/span><\/div>\n<\/a>Dave and me again, on our political talk show (tequila under the counter, probably)<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<\/a>Me, hoping some of the philosopher-<\/span>genius <\/span> in front of me rubs off (he seems to be doing well with the girls too\u2026)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/a>Me and my father, about 25 years ago, when I really did<\/span> have it all figured out<\/a>.<\/div>\n