{"id":302,"date":"2009-08-17T15:07:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-17T15:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases\/"},"modified":"2009-08-17T15:07:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-17T15:07:00","slug":"life-new-phases","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html","title":{"rendered":"Life: New Phases"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d
-Paul Boese<\/span> <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In Buddhism<\/a>, the two \u201cwings of awakening\u201d are wisdom and compassion.<\/span> Sometimes we try to separate these , perhaps even seeing them as antagonists. But in fact, as the \u2018wings\u2019 imagery suggests, the two must be cultivated together on the path to awakening. One may be \u2013 and most people are \u2013 stronger on one side or the other, but this serves as no excuse for the neglect of the other.<\/p>\n

I, as most folks will easily guess, favor the wisdom side of things<\/span>. My inclination is to understand<\/span> \u2013 people, life, the world and all it holds. Understanding, done properly, facilitates love and compassion. After exiting an abusive relationship<\/a> a while back, I strove in earnest to understand the woman\u2019s violent mood-swings and associated problems. Understanding the causes and conditions of her actions invoked compassion, she was simply repeating her family\u2019s cycle of violence and denial.<\/p>\n

The healthy man does not torture others \u2013 generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
\u2013 Carl Jung <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

At times this understanding faded and I found myself blaming her<\/span>. I was also hard on myself \u2013 and others \u2013 for failing to see the problems as they grew and grew \u2013 a bit like this guy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Luckily I did have close friends and family who saw what was really happening and facilitated my exit. I couldn\u2019t blame her any more than I could save <\/span>her, which had been a major preoccupation as the nature of her past \u2013 and present \u2013 became more apparent. Just causes and conditions<\/span>; and though I had become one cause in her life, it was too little, too late<\/span>. I still regret not being able to help more.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to know the past to understand the present.\u201d
\u2013 Dr. Carl Sagan<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One thing I\u2019ve learned quite deeply from that encounter is that we can never abandon our past. This love of mine often spoke of letting go of aspects of the past that no longer served her; but I eventually realized that she wasn\u2019t doing the <\/span>work<\/span> of letting go<\/span>. This is something many of us miss in our efforts to come to terms with life. We can become experts in the right words, yet fail completely when it comes to the actions necessary to realize our aspirations.<\/p>\n

And that brings us \u2013 me at least \u2013 back to the present moment<\/span>. My own life-aspirations have long been threefold: family (relationships), philosophy (academia and career), and (Buddhist) practice. It has always been a challenge to balance these three.<\/p>\n

And now, as I enter what could be the last year of my Ph<\/span>.D. \u2013 a year that of my academic friends have called the most stressful year of their lives \u2013 I find my energy pulled strongly toward the academic and practice sides of life. And I am actually really excited<\/span> about that.<\/span> Part of me is sad to pull energy away from relationships, but I know that the many very wonderful people in my life (especially Julie) will still be there when I come out the other side of this academic worm-hole.<\/p>\n

And the truth is, I have no choice.<\/span> If I don\u2019t redirect my energy, I\u2019ll never finish my doctorate, I\u2019ll never write the great books, jet a real job, relieve<\/span> suffering everywhere, gain perfect enlightenment, and all that jazz. And without those things, who would want<\/span> to hang out with me? Not me, that\u2019s for sure. So, in my usual humble fashion, and I think the Buddha had similar intentions when he set forth from his home life at age 29, I seek to abandon much of mundane life so as to find something worthy of offering to the world (mostly in the form of a good ph.d. thesis).<\/p>\n

The Buddha spent 6 years away, practicing some the most severe austerities imaginable, before his return. <\/span>The average Ph.D. program in Buddhist Studies in the U.S. is about 6 years. A coincidence? I don\u2019t know. But I do know that it\u2019s been a while since I held my arms above my head for weeks at a time or lived on a grain of rice a day, so I\u2019ve got some work to do.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d -Paul Boese In Buddhism, the two \u201cwings of awakening\u201d are wisdom and compassion. Sometimes we try to separate these , perhaps even seeing them as antagonists. But in fact, as the \u2018wings\u2019 imagery suggests, the two must be cultivated together on the path […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nLife: New Phases<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d -Paul Boese In Buddhism, the two "wings of awakening" are wisdom and compassion.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Life: New Phases\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d -Paul Boese In Buddhism, the two "wings of awakening" are wisdom and compassion.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Buddhist Perspectives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-08-17T15:07:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_fyeYpxfdjuI\/SolkjGu8n_I\/AAAAAAAAAkI\/YTv-KBu_JGM\/s320\/Da+Xingshan+Temple+-+Amoghavajra+-+8-1+%2886%29.JPG\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html\",\"name\":\"Life: New Phases\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-08-17T15:07:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2009-08-17T15:07:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\"},\"description\":\"\u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d -Paul Boese In Buddhism, the two \\\"wings of awakening\\\" are wisdom and compassion.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2009\/08\/life-new-phases.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Life: New Phases\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\",\"name\":\"American Buddhist Perspectives\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\",\"name\":\"Justin Whitaker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Justin Whitaker\"},\"description\":\"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. 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