{"id":36,"date":"2011-07-20T12:26:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-20T12:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/07\/treadmill-shows-impending-demise-of-western-civilization\/"},"modified":"2011-07-20T12:26:00","modified_gmt":"2011-07-20T12:26:00","slug":"treadmill-shows-impending-demise-of-western-civilization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/07\/treadmill-shows-impending-demise-of-western-civilization.html","title":{"rendered":"Treadmill shows impending demise of Western Civilization"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Caption Contest?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
In the spirit of The Onion<\/a>\u2026<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Leeds University in England has confirmed, scientifically, the impending downfall of the West<\/b>. With the use of a treadmill, medieval body armour, scuba gear and unknown quantities of alcohol, a team of researchers has just how\u00a0ridiculous\u00a0education funding\u00a0has become\u00a0in England (as well as the weakness of the contemporary Englishman).<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWe had to cut an entire department to buy all this armour,\u201d reported head researcher Nigel Failum, \u201cBut it was Classics, so I doubt anyone will notice.\u201d In fact a few (former) Classics students did notice, and were quick to volunteer, earning \u00a37 per hour to participate in the study.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy just read about history, when I can live it?\u201d One asked, while attempting to triumphantly raise his armoured fist.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Anatomical Sciences researchers also measured head size.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
Energized by the findings, universities across the country are searching out departments to eliminate to help fund similar studies. \u201cWe\u2019ve\u00a0eliminated\u00a0our East Asian studies department to help fund more science students from East Asia,\u201d explains Thomas McFatten of Warwick University.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Officials at Brighton University were especially happy, as they cut out the Ethics, Religion, and Philosophy departments in a single stroke of the sword, or, um, pen. Training in these areas will be replaced by a new section in the student code that reads, \u201cFollow the Golden Rule (it\u2019s on wikipedia), read the Bible, and think about things from time to time.\u201d Researchers there plan to recreate the Anglo-Saxon and Viking armadas of the 9th century to determine\u2026 something important\u2026 scientifically. Unconfirmed reports claim that national defense and health service money has been committed to this important project.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
~<\/div>\n
My two cents\u2026 Well, here\u2019s the real story<\/a>\u00a0(with video). This is<\/i>\u00a0a bit depressing. I suppose there is some merit in determining the physiological effects of wearing medieval body armour, but really? \u00a0In an age when universities seriously are<\/i> cutting\u00a0and\/or merging\u00a0departments in the Liberal Arts and Humanities, one can\u2019t help but wonder.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Perhaps it\u2019s just my selfish desire to get a decent job teaching upon graduation, which only barely overrules my desire to get dressed in armour and walk on a treadmill, but I really do hope things change.\u00a0<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Caption Contest? In the spirit of The Onion\u2026 Leeds University in England has confirmed, scientifically, the impending downfall of the West. With the use of a treadmill, medieval body armour, scuba gear and unknown quantities of alcohol, a team of researchers has just how\u00a0ridiculous\u00a0education funding\u00a0has become\u00a0in England (as well as the weakness of the contemporary […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nTreadmill shows impending demise of Western Civilization<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Caption Contest?In the spirit of The Onion...Leeds University in England has confirmed, scientifically, the impending downfall of the West. 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