I also told him the story of Dza Mura Tulku, a spiritual master who lived in the early twentieth century in eastern Tibet. He had a family, and throughout his life he felt a deep affection for his wife, which she reciprocated. He did nothing without her and always said that if anything should happen to her, he could not long outlive her. And then she died suddenly. The master\u2019s friends and disciples hurried to his side. Recalling what they had heard him say so often, none dared tell him the news. Finally, as tactfully as possible, one disciple told the master that his wife had died.<\/p>\n
The tragic reaction they\u2019d feared failed to occur. The master looked at them and said: \u201cWhy do you look so upset? How many times have I told you that phenomena and beings are impermanent? Even the Buddha had to leave the world.\u201d No matter how tenderly he\u2019d felt for his wife, and despite the great sadness he most surely felt, allowing himself to be consumed by grief would have added nothing to his love for her. It was more important for him to pray serenely for the deceased and to make her an offering of that serenity\u2026.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe best tribute you can make to me as a mother is to go on and have a good and fulfilling life.\u201d These words were spoken by a mother to her son only moments before her death.<\/p>\n
(pp.67-68)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
~<\/div>\n
Few of us will react with the Tulku\u2019s equanimity in the face of the loss of a loved one. It is important to accept our attachments; and even our wish that others are attached to us (how many of us could tell a loved one to go on as the mother in the above story?). Our tendency is to cling and want others to cling to us. \u201cBuild me a great temple when I die, make images of me, tell my story far and wide,\u201d we may secretly wish. <\/span> All of this is fine. <\/p>\nBut move forward. Our friends and loved ones truly are a gift, and truly are <\/span>impermanent. Cherish each, old and new. Invite celebration to bring equanimity in times of grief.<\/span><\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/7907151-3400629819402842941?l=americanbuddhist.blogspot.com\")
<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"