{"id":4364,"date":"2014-12-14T04:34:20","date_gmt":"2014-12-14T04:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?p=4364"},"modified":"2014-12-31T20:31:23","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T20:31:23","slug":"10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Steps to being a “Good” Convert Buddhist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/p>\n

This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do so for the coming weeks, I thought I\u2019d share this again with some minor updates. And so here we go\u2026<\/p>\n

~<\/p>\n

My thanks to Adam (of\u00a0Home Brew Dharma) for pointing me to NellaLou at\u00a0Smiling Buddhist<\/a> Cabaret<\/a>\u00a0who\u00a0<\/span>has a great article<\/a> (or should I say\u00a0novella<\/i>) today that begins by noting:<\/p>\n

Nathan at\u00a0Dangerous Harvests<\/span><\/a>\u00a0wrote a post\u00a0\u201cIs Convert Buddhism too Clubby and Exclusive?\u201d<\/span><\/a>\u00a0 based on a post titled\u00a0what gets in the way?<\/span>\u00a0by Peter at\u00a0living and dying with eyes wide open<\/span>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The string of thought, as she mentions, flows around convert Buddhists trying to figure out what\u2019s going on in their chosen places of meditation. Many people who have \u2018shopped around\u2019 to various Buddhist groups have encountered some uncomfortable moments, \u201cobstacles\u201d, what feels like weird rituals or stuffy dogmas, odd teacher-student relationships (subservience, etc), and so on.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
And then those folks go online, or if you meet them in person will tell face to face, that \u201cZen people are weird because\u2026.\u201d or \u201cI just could never do Tibetan Buddhism<\/a> because\u2026\u201d or \u201cTheravadins are so\u2026\u201d And out comes a litany of narrow-minded prejudices against a whole tradition or culture based on one or two experiences. Or a wiser and more tempered person will note that it is only based on a limited experience, \u201cbut still\u2026\u201d And then claims about the finer points of Buddhism follow and too often a completely cerebral and too often useless conversation ensues.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Just (mostly) for fun.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Here are some pointers on how to be a\u00a0good<\/i>\u00a0convert Buddhist:<\/div>\n
\n
    \n
  1. Participate<\/b>. Can\u2019t knock it \u2019till ya try it (this doesn\u2019t apply to all<\/em> things!). Actually spend some time with the group of choice. Get to know people. Ask questions. Follow instructions. Investigate. Test the tools they are handing you.<\/li>\n
  2. Listen<\/b>. This can go under participate, but it deserves being restated. Most of us talk too much and listen too little. Listening requires you to be silent \u2013 this is good. This includes listening to those who have had bad experiences with Buddhism.<\/li>\n
  3. Take time<\/b>. Don\u2019t expect a particular night\u2019s teachings to make perfect sense immediately. Don\u2019t expect butterflies and rainbows after a few sits. If you find yourself saying \u201cI don\u2019t have time for this\u201d, keep in mind that every tradition has a version of the advice \u201cpractice like you\u2019re head\u2019s on fire [because it\u00a0is<\/i>].\u201d That\u2019s not to say drop everything for your practice, but rather that the goal is to have your practice and your life become one. It\u2019s okay to start with a mentality of \u201cI practice X minutes a day\/week\u201d but soon enough you will (happily) notice that your practice is occurring\u00a0spontaneously\u00a0more and more throughout your day and life (happily, happily).<\/li>\n
  4. Accept ritual<\/b>. Take a deep breath and tell yourself \u2018ritual is okay.\u2019 A lot of us have previous conditioning that makes us run at the first sight of anything ritualistic, so it\u2019s also okay that certain activities give you the heeby-jeebies, just work with it. You might need\u00a0to seek out a \u2018low-ritual\u2019 Buddhist group (Vipassana, in my experience), or you might really like \u2018high-ritual\u2019 groups (Tibetans). Sometimes what you need changes.<\/li>\n
  5. Learn a language or two<\/b>. Okay, so this really isn\u2019t essential, but it helps tremendously. There is a sense in which words really aren\u2019t translatable. \u00a0So to be able to read texts in Japanese or Sanskrit will \u2018transport\u2019 you, so to speak, into the mindset of authors much better than even really good attempted translations. At least try to learn various meanings for key terms.<\/li>\n
  6. Be Open<\/b>. What\u2019s the old saying from elementary school teachers\u2019 doors: \u201cthe mind is like a parachute\u2026\u201d? And the other one, \u201cdon\u2019t be so open minded that your brain falls out.\u201d Fair enough. Do your best to lie somewhere between utterly closed-minded and utterly naive. It\u2019s a big area.<\/li>\n
  7. Be Accepting<\/b>. You\u2019ll screw up. Others will too. Many people come to Buddhism expecting all the practitioners to be warm, wise, and compassionate all of the time. Just a little experience will shatter this illusion, often leading to deep disappointment. I remember being gravely disturbed when I realized my first meditation teacher had a laptop. \u201cOh my god! How could he? Doesn\u2019t the 1st precept \u2018forbid\u2019 (my mistaken understanding of the precepts) causing harm and aren\u2019t laptops made in China where\u2026\u201d Oh my. I got over it. You have to accept that you\u2019ll be judgmental too (paradoxical as it might seem). Our minds are conditioned to judge. When they go too far they move from discerning (good) to judgment (bad), but that\u2019s a bigger topic. Just know that you\u2019ll be judgmental and there will be a million and one things to \u2018just let go\u2019 of and\/or accept (like\u00a0Buddhists\u00a0doing strange rituals).<\/li>\n
  8. Have fun<\/b>. I almost left that out \u2013 woops. I suppose it\u2019s fitting after 10 \u2018thou shalts\u2019 to have Have Fun<\/em> (it\u2019s on Moses\u2019 third tablet, the one he dropped). Life is too short to be serious about everything! Life is too short to be serious about most things. Even if you live in\/around the poverty line in the United States, as I technically do as a grad-student, you probably eat imported foods, enjoy hot baths\/showers, sturdy walls over your head, bandit-free roadways, clean air and water, etc. Life for most all of you \u2013 if you have access to a computer to read this \u2013 is remarkably, fantastically good compared to the conditions in which the vast majority of human beings in history lived through. That\u2019s not to say that life doesn\u2019t suck sometimes, sometimes in very big ways, and sometimes we need to fight for change. But think of others first. Volunteer. Play. Be yourself (cf. #s 2,3,6, and 7).<\/li>\n
  9. Support others<\/b>. In your Sangha, in your community, in your family, and so on. Be an advocate, an ally, an activist. There is much good in the world to be done. Do it.<\/li>\n
  10. Remember the importance of\u00a0appearance<\/b>. Black is Zen. Maroon\u00a0is Tibetan or Burmese. Orange (Saffron) is Sri Lankan. If you mix those up, only Buddha knows what bad karma you will accumulate (cf. #s 4\u00a0and\u00a08). Not to mention\u00a0footwear\u00a0\u2013 I have found this to be very important at Vipassana retreats: Birkenstocks are out, Tevas and Smartwool socks are in. \u00a0At the Zen hall, just wear what they tell you to wear \u2013 they have sticks and aren\u2019t afraid to use them! At the Tibetan group, all rules go out: you can dress up in full Tibetan gear to show how enlightened you are, or your regular hippy clothes, or a suit and tie, it\u2019s all the play of illusion anyhow.Heck, forget the other 9, if you can just get this down, you\u2019ll\u00a0win<\/i>\u00a0enlightenment over everyone else any day.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    And here are three bonus steps for the intermediate level good convert Buddhist:<\/div>\n
    \n
      \n
    1. See that Buddhism\u00a0<\/b>is\u00a0<\/b><\/i>a Religion<\/b>. Definitions like this are contentious. Okay. But at least by many people\u2019s standards, Buddhism fits in the category of religion.<\/li>\n
    2. Beware Universalizing<\/b>.<\/li>\n
    3. See that Buddhism is\u00a0<\/b>not\u00a0<\/b><\/i>a Religion<\/b>. Again, it depends on your definitions, but I\u00a0just<\/i>\u00a0had a chat\u00a0with a very well-educated, highly-practiced Buddhist who said, \u201cBuddhism is not a religion. Buddhism is psychology.\u201d Okay. Religion literally means \u2018that which binds [people together]\u2018. For some people, Buddhism does this. For others, not so much. For them Buddhism\u00a0might be<\/em>\u00a0a psychology, a set of tools, an ethical system, a philosophy, etc, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      * \u2018convert\u2019 generally refers to those coming into the religion from a previously non-religious background or having held a faith other than Buddhism. It includes Asians, Africans, Europeans, Native Americans, etc who self-identify as having \u2018converted\u2019 to Buddhism (or to a particular branch of Buddhism if they were raised in another).<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do so for the coming weeks, I thought I\u2019d share this again with some minor updates. And so here we go\u2026 ~ My thanks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":4398,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,9,15,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-activism","category-american-buddhism","category-buddhism","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Steps to being a "Good" Convert Buddhist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Steps to being a "Good" Convert Buddhist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Buddhist Perspectives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-12-14T04:34:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-12-31T20:31:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2014\/12\/religion-meme.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"284\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"234\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html\",\"name\":\"10 Steps to being a \\\"Good\\\" Convert Buddhist\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-12-14T04:34:20+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-12-31T20:31:23+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\"},\"description\":\"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"10 Steps to being a “Good” Convert Buddhist\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\",\"name\":\"American Buddhist Perspectives\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\",\"name\":\"Justin Whitaker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Justin Whitaker\"},\"description\":\"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"10 Steps to being a \"Good\" Convert Buddhist","description":"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"10 Steps to being a \"Good\" Convert Buddhist","og_description":"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html","og_site_name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","article_published_time":"2014-12-14T04:34:20+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-12-31T20:31:23+00:00","og_image":[{"width":284,"height":234,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2014\/12\/religion-meme.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Justin Whitaker","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Justin Whitaker","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html","name":"10 Steps to being a \"Good\" Convert Buddhist","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-12-14T04:34:20+00:00","dateModified":"2014-12-31T20:31:23+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9"},"description":"This is a repost of a 2010 piece that was recently brought to my attention. Since work and travels have kept me away from the blog for a while and may do","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2014\/12\/10-steps-to-being-a-good-convert-buddhist.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"10 Steps to being a “Good” Convert Buddhist"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/","name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9","name":"Justin Whitaker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Justin Whitaker"},"description":"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/118"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4364\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}