{"id":49,"date":"2011-06-23T22:59:00","date_gmt":"2011-06-23T22:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind\/"},"modified":"2011-06-23T22:59:00","modified_gmt":"2011-06-23T22:59:00","slug":"saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html","title":{"rendered":"Saving Relationships: the Don’t Know Mind"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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This week\u2019s Psychology Today has a wonderful piece<\/a> dedicated to the late Charlotte Joko Beck<\/a>\u00a0(pictured left), one of the pioneers of Zen in America<\/b>. In\u00a0it, Toni Bernhard, J.D., a former law professor at UC Davis, gives us the perspectives of three great Zen teachers: Charlotte Joko Beck<\/a>, Zen master Seung Sahn<\/a>, and Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The crux of the article is simple but profound: we often let our minds get away from us when it comes to \u2018interpreting\u2019 the words or actions of others.<\/b> We can create a whole world of fantasy in which we are victims or victors, vikings or vicars (sorry, bad humor).<\/p>\n

In any case, we tend to blow things out of proportion in one way or another, first in our minds, and then, if we\u2019re not careful, in our own words and actions. Rather than trying to authentically understand the other, we manifest a grand story, a box to put him\/her in, and act from there. Inevitably this leads to suffering, because nobody \u2013 not you, not me, nobody \u2013 lives long in the boxes we put them in<\/b>.<\/p>\n

In my experience this comes back to two words taught to me by one of my earliest Buddhist<\/a> teachers: \u201clet go.\u201d Actually there were three, \u201cjust let go.\u201d Either way, letting go of the stories is immensely freeing \u2013 it gets you out of your head and into the world around, a world filled with beauty (when you\u2019re there to notice it)<\/b>.<\/p>\n

Life is short, too short to be lived spinning around in one\u2019s own stories. Let go.<\/p><\/div>\n

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This week\u2019s Psychology Today has a wonderful piece dedicated to the late Charlotte Joko Beck\u00a0(pictured left), one of the pioneers of Zen in America. In\u00a0it, Toni Bernhard, J.D., a former law professor at UC Davis, gives us the perspectives of three great Zen teachers: Charlotte Joko Beck, Zen master Seung Sahn, and Ven. Thich Nhat […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nSaving Relationships: the Don't Know Mind<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This week's Psychology Today has a wonderful piece dedicated to the late Charlotte Joko Beck (pictured left), one of the pioneers of Zen in America.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Saving Relationships: the Don't Know Mind\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week's Psychology Today has a wonderful piece dedicated to the late Charlotte Joko Beck (pictured left), one of the pioneers of Zen in America.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Buddhist Perspectives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-06-23T22:59:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-ASL3wEEL32o\/TgL2Mp_ltOI\/AAAAAAAABjs\/sp9NxcdB28A\/s1600\/Charlotte+Joko+Beck+American+Zen+Master.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html\",\"name\":\"Saving Relationships: the Don't Know Mind\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-06-23T22:59:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-06-23T22:59:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\"},\"description\":\"This week's Psychology Today has a wonderful piece dedicated to the late Charlotte Joko Beck (pictured left), one of the pioneers of Zen in America.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2011\/06\/saving-relationships-the-dont-know-mind.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Saving Relationships: the Don’t Know Mind\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\",\"name\":\"American Buddhist Perspectives\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\",\"name\":\"Justin Whitaker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Justin Whitaker\"},\"description\":\"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. 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