You see, I had a good talk with a friend last summer. He was and is by most any account a very successful man: excellent education, great job, intelligence, good looks, humor, confidence, the works. Yet at one point in the conversation he told me that his greatest fear in life is failure<\/span>, plain and simple. <\/span>That conversation has stuck with me for some reason, and whenever I think of failure, I think back on that day, seeing his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n Recently, a good friend of mine has been suffering. Our mutual friend reminded her of how much she had, such wonderful things that others miss out on in life for one reason or another. And it\u2019s true, my suffering friend is blessed with much to be thankful for. But I know that doesn\u2019t always help much when the one thing you want you do not have<\/span>, or the one most wonderful thing in your life slips away<\/span>.<\/span> I have had plenty of my own moments of suffering in this way, as I am sure we all have. No matter how much we have, there will always be something more to desire or something cherished will be lost. So what is the difference between the suffering and the peaceful, the contented ones?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I once sat before a great teacher who said that awakening is absolute normalcy<\/span>. Nothing changes, except the \u2018you\u2019 goes away. The story-maker, the being <\/span>which suffers, is seen for what it is, just another idea. Once the story-maker is seen, the stories can stop, and great energy is unleashed, or -for those who don\u2019t make many stories anyhow- a little energy is freed up.<\/p>\n The sutta <\/span>tells us the same thing. How do we know we\u2019re not enlightened?<\/span> We cling to what is pleasurable, we rebel against suffering, we fail to see each of these as they truly are: \u201cinconstant, stressful, & subject to change.\u201d (the full list is: gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure, & pain)<\/p>\n Yet even the enlightened person is subject to gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure, & pain. That is right. There is pain, loss, disgrace, and censure even for the enlightened<\/span>. What\u2019s the difference? They<\/span> see these, along with the good, as inconstant, stressful, and subject to change. (lucky blankety-blanks.)<\/p>\n But no, I\u2019m sure the next sutta <\/span>says it\u2019s not just a matter of luck. It\u2019s a matter of on-the-job training, as it were. First figuring all of this stuff out intellectually \u2013 maybe memorizing the Pali terms: anicca<\/a>, anatta<\/a>, dukkha<\/a><\/span>, then thinking a lot about what they mean, and then, and most importantly, spending the time to bring the meaning of these words into your lived experience<\/span>. That\u2019s just a fancy way to say: meditate (a lot).<\/p>\n
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