{"id":5504,"date":"2016-02-19T12:06:13","date_gmt":"2016-02-19T19:06:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?p=5504"},"modified":"2016-02-19T13:36:10","modified_gmt":"2016-02-19T20:36:10","slug":"the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html","title":{"rendered":"The Onion<\/i> takes on popular Buddhist “meditation apps”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"Onion<\/a><\/p>\n

In their latest\u00a0jab<\/em> at the growing popularity of Buddhism<\/a> in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The Onion<\/em> offers<\/a> us 31-year old Eric Reeves, a Seattle man whose new meditation app promises to lead him to a \u201cLotus Plane of Eternal Serenity.\u201d Noting that he was \u201cjust moments\u00a0from being carried like a cherry blossom on a soft breeze into a placid realm of unending tranquility,\u201d The Onion<\/em> reports that:<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Having readied himself to expand his awareness to the bounds of infinity, Reeves is said to have then tapped the app\u2019s icon, located between his apps for Lyft and the game Gummy Drop!, propelling his inner being into an enlightened, all-knowing state of profound oneness with all things.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The article all too briefly lets us know that Eric, now a \u201cveritable Bodhisattva\u201d has \u201cascended to the highest rungs of bliss unencumbered by human cares or wants\u201d and was interrupted by \u201cpush notifications.\u201d Read more here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

~<\/p>\n

Any real-life meditation app users out there? Experiences (good\/bad)? Too enlightened to comment? Busy trying to become a level five laser lotus<\/a>?<\/p>\n

Recent\u00a0Onion<\/em> related posts:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

The Onion<\/i>\u00a0sends NBC\u2019s Brian Williams to Tibet<\/a><\/p>\n

Mitt Romney seeks Buddhist Counsel (Video)<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>

Stay in touch with American Buddhist Perspectives on Facebook:<\/em><\/center>\n
\n
\n
\n

American Buddhist Perspectives<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The Onion offers us 31-year old Eric Reeves, a Seattle man whose new meditation app promises to lead him to a \u201cLotus Plane of Eternal Serenity.\u201d Noting that he was \u201cjust […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":5507,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,23,19,28],"tags":[80,522,527,163],"class_list":["post-5504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-buddhism","category-humor","category-meditation","category-technology","tag-humor-2","tag-meditation","tag-technology","tag-the-onion"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Onion takes on popular Buddhist "meditation apps"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist "meditation apps"\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Buddhist Perspectives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-02-19T19:06:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-02-19T20:36:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2016\/02\/Onion-article-on-meditation-app.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"548\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html\",\"name\":\"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist \\\"meditation apps\\\"\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-19T19:06:13+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-02-19T20:36:10+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\"},\"description\":\"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist “meditation apps”\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\",\"name\":\"American Buddhist Perspectives\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\",\"name\":\"Justin Whitaker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Justin Whitaker\"},\"description\":\"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist \"meditation apps\"","description":"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist \"meditation apps\"","og_description":"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html","og_site_name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","article_published_time":"2016-02-19T19:06:13+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-02-19T20:36:10+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":548,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2016\/02\/Onion-article-on-meditation-app.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Justin Whitaker","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Justin Whitaker","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html","name":"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist \"meditation apps\"","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-02-19T19:06:13+00:00","dateModified":"2016-02-19T20:36:10+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9"},"description":"In their latest\u00a0jab at the growing popularity of Buddhism in the West and one of its most common delivery systems: meditation via a 5-inch screen,\u00a0The","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/the-onion-takes-on-popular-buddhist-meditation-apps.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Onion takes on popular Buddhist “meditation apps”"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/","name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9","name":"Justin Whitaker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Justin Whitaker"},"description":"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/118"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5504"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5504\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}