{"id":5519,"date":"2016-02-22T17:44:25","date_gmt":"2016-02-23T00:44:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?p=5519"},"modified":"2016-02-25T12:11:10","modified_gmt":"2016-02-25T19:11:10","slug":"buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html","title":{"rendered":"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the “meditation romance”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"Insight$ <\/a>This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation<\/em>, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein<\/a>. I\u2019ll promise to share more gems from the text as I pass by them, but this one stood out for its resonance with my recent Valentine\u2019s Day post<\/a>, as well as an older one featuring Portlandia\u2019s episode \u201cMeditation Crush\u201d (see below).<\/p>\n

In a section subtitled DESIRE, Joseph Goldstein recounts:<\/p>\n

A very common phenomenon, especially on retreats, is the vipassana romance.\u00a0We may have anywhere from 50 to 150 people practicing in silence; not speaking\u00a0to one another; supposedly not looking around. Yet it doesn\u2019t take long before\u00a0somehow, you\u2019ve managed to scope out the entire room and \ufb01nd that one person\u00a0to whom you feel this amazing attraction.You may never have spoken to them; you\u00a0may know nothing about them. And yet the mind starts building this fantasy of\u00a0meeting them; getting together after the retreat; going off someplace together; getting married; having kids \u2026 a whole fantasy arises through the power of desire in the mind. These internal dramas can be very enjoyable.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You might recall a 2012 post here featuring\u00a0Portlandia that perfectly illustrated this:<\/a><\/p>\n
<\/iframe><\/p>\n(if this doesn\u2019t work, click here:\u00a0<a class=\"ext-link decorated-link\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hulu.com\/watch\/442586\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-wpel-target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.hulu.com\/watch\/442586<\/a>)<\/p>\nHowever, in the next section, called DESIRE VERSUS REALITY, Goldstein warns:<\/p>\n<blockquote>It makes no difference whether the thing we\u2019re craving is an external object or an internal state. The force of desire or addiction in the mind to a particular outcome hinders concentration and obscures our natural wisdom. We become entranced and seduced by the object of our wanting. It\u2019s as if we\u2019re living in a world of enchantment, and then we get lost in the force of that wanting.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nHe recounts an advertisement for a cruise to Asia, sprinkled with Buddhist language and promising\u00a0nirvana<\/em>. As he writes, \u201cThis is the message we often get: \u2018Fulfill this desire, buy this product, have this experience, and you will achieve everlasting happiness.\u2019 The gift of meditation is that it helps us see through this illusion.\u201d<\/p>\nAnd seeing through illusions, whether they are\u00a0for the products being pushed at you by the media or those\u00a0we all inevitably create around romantic life, is liberating. And when our fantasy-bubbles are burst and we confront reality<\/em>\u00a0we get an opportunity: react with scorn, or open up to the experience with\u00a0the gift of acceptance<\/em>.<\/p>\n*note, Buddhists\u00a0do<\/em> still take cruises and engage in romantic fantasy. With a little practice, however, their expectations for finding\u00a0nirvana<\/em>\u00a0in either is radically diminished.<\/p>\n\n<\/p><\/p><center>Stay in touch with American Buddhist Perspectives on Facebook:<\/em><\/center>\n<div class=\"fb-page\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/americanbuddhistperspectives\" data-width=\"500\" data-small-header=\"false\" data-adapt-container-width=\"true\" data-hide-cover=\"false\" data-show-facepile=\"true\" data-show-posts=\"false\">\n<div class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\">\n<blockquote cite=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/americanbuddhistperspectives\">\n<a href=\"FacebookURL\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">American Buddhist Perspectives<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I\u2019ll promise to share more gems from the text as I pass by them, but this one stood out for its resonance with my recent Valentine\u2019s Day post, as well as an older one featuring Portlandia\u2019s episode […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":5522,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,189,3,19],"tags":[520,538,537,231],"class_list":["post-5519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-american-buddhism","category-buddhism-today","category-happiness","category-meditation","tag-buddhism","tag-insight-meditation","tag-joseph-goldstein","tag-romance"],"yoast_head":"\n<title>Buddhism: mindfulness vs the "meditation romance"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the "meditation romance"\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Buddhist Perspectives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-02-23T00:44:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-02-25T19:11:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2016\/02\/Insight-Meditation-Salzberg-and-Goldstein.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Justin Whitaker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html\",\"name\":\"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the \\\"meditation romance\\\"\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-23T00:44:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-02-25T19:11:10+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\"},\"description\":\"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the “meditation romance”\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\",\"name\":\"American Buddhist Perspectives\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9\",\"name\":\"Justin Whitaker\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Justin Whitaker\"},\"description\":\"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the \"meditation romance\"","description":"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the \"meditation romance\"","og_description":"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html","og_site_name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","article_published_time":"2016-02-23T00:44:25+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-02-25T19:11:10+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":768,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/83\/2016\/02\/Insight-Meditation-Salzberg-and-Goldstein.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Justin Whitaker","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Justin Whitaker","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html","name":"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the \"meditation romance\"","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-02-23T00:44:25+00:00","dateModified":"2016-02-25T19:11:10+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9"},"description":"This month I am returning to a classic in Western Buddhism: Insight Meditation, with\u00a0Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. I'll promise to share more gems","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/02\/buddhism-mindfulness-vs-the-meditation-romance.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Buddhism: mindfulness vs the “meditation romance”"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/","name":"American Buddhist Perspectives","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/abfb8f851f671638c4c7536b963f9da9","name":"Justin Whitaker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/817b6fba8ae056aaff4f9bdc84347d72?s=96&d=identicon&r=pg","caption":"Justin Whitaker"},"description":"I am an almost-life-long Montanan; a baptized Catholic; an ardent Atheist; a practicing Buddhist; a lover of Wisdom. I have a BA and almost an MA in (Western) Philosophy from the University of Montana-Missoula, an MA in Buddhist Studies from Bristol University, UK, and I am currently working on a Ph.D. in Buddhist Ethics at the U of London. My main academic foci are early Buddhist ethics and Kant (odd combination, I know). I also study Western ethics, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Comparative philosophy, and Environmental ethics. I also like photography, running, drinking wine, and eating peanut butter (often in that order).","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/author\/justinwhitaker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/118"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5519"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5519\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5522"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}