{"id":5725,"date":"2016-04-01T11:08:16","date_gmt":"2016-04-01T17:08:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/?p=5725"},"modified":"2016-04-28T09:51:02","modified_gmt":"2016-04-28T15:51:02","slug":"study-shows-most-americans-shouldnt-meditate-repress-awful-life-events-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/americanbuddhist\/2016\/04\/study-shows-most-americans-shouldnt-meditate-repress-awful-life-events-instead.html","title":{"rendered":"Study shows most Americans shouldn’t meditate: repress awful life events instead"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Lead author Willow B. England of Orange University in upstate New York describes why meditation has become an increasing malice to the American public. Her scientific research conflicts with\u00a0the increasingly incoherent ramblings of French monk Matthieu Ricard, who says:<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone would be helped by meditating for half-an-hour a day. Meditation is a very vague term and there\u2019s a lot of clich\u00e9 \u2013 like emptying your mind and relaxing and all that stuff. But it\u2019s really a means to cultivate or be familiar with a better understanding of the way the mind works. Studies have shown that meditation combined with cognitive therapy can help people who suffer from severe depression and reduce the risk of relapse by up to 40 per cent.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d says Dr. England, \u201cmost people should just watch TV, have a beer or six, and avoid paying attention to any inner thoughts. Our study shows that when modern Americans look at their own minds and see how it works, they\u2019re literally terrified. They see their shitty pasts, their shitty current circumstances, and their likely to be shitty futures, and some simply shit themselves. It\u2019s terrible. Others turn their fear into anger, pointed mostly at immigrants, Muslims, and the poor. Those ones seem to do okay. And by \u201cokay\u201d I\u00a0mean continuing on in their shitty lives without much further thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\u00a9
Young person meditating. Studies show he would be much better off watching TV. \u00a9 Miroslav Vajdi\u0107<\/a> for openphoto.net<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In the study\u2019s innovative \u201cDark Knight\u201d project, despondent participants were shown the recent Batman film to see whether Hollywood could still successfully manipulate the populace. Dr. England said it was a great success, noting that, \u201cwhen people saw Bruce Wayne\u2019s horrible misery and how he turned that into a perfectly well adjusted adulthood, they felt pretty apathetic and returned to their shitty lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\u00a9
Dr. England tweeted her research results to the joy of meditation detractors worldwide. \u00a9 Daniel Steger<\/a> for openphoto.net<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Sources:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.esquire.co.uk\/culture\/article\/4915\/matthieu-ricard-what-ive-learned\/<\/a><\/p>\n

See also:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.telegraph.co.uk\/culture\/hay-festival\/11629029\/Mindfulness-is-stopping-the-world-from-thinking.html<\/a><\/p>\n

Update:<\/p>\n

An earlier version of this story had the title, \u201cStudy shows most American\u2019s shouldn\u2019t meditate: repress awful life events instead.\u201d What kind of idiot puts an apostrophe in Americans there? This kind, apparently. Apologies to readers emotionally scarred by the grammatical error.<\/p>\n

(Note: While it is hoped that everyone reading this would deduce that it\u2019s an April Fools joke, that might not always be the case.)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lead author Willow B. England of Orange University in upstate New York describes why meditation has become an increasing malice to the American public. Her scientific research conflicts with\u00a0the increasingly incoherent ramblings of French monk Matthieu Ricard, who says: \u201cEveryone would be helped by meditating for half-an-hour a day. Meditation is a very vague term […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":5726,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[80,522],"class_list":["post-5725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-humor-2","tag-meditation"],"yoast_head":"\nStudy shows most Americans shouldn't meditate: repress awful life events instead<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Lead author Willow B. 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