sigh. breath. smile. relax. But really, really I am a bit terrified. Mostly I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be so nervous that I fidget annoyingly, stutter (no.. I never stutter), and bore the living daylights out of 70% of them.<\/p>\n
I have my lecture (introduction and syllabus). It\u2019s about 20 minutes. The class is 50. Dad says, \u201cask them some questions, let them ask you questions, make it conversational.\u201d Mom agrees. She also suggests that I have them write an essay about why they\u2019re taking the class and what they hope to gain from it. My sister says I\u2019ll have lots of young girls with crushes on me. I think I\u2019m glad to be spoken for, even if she\u2019s an ocean and a half-continent away. What do you think? Any last-minute advice?<\/p>\n
I am having my moments of calm, though. I am<\/span> well-prepared overall. I do<\/span> know the material well and I do love it. And I am confident that that will show through to my students.<\/p>\n Perhaps a practice will help me, something like a metta-bhavana<\/span> (cultivation of loving-kindness) using the students. I gave a talk in Valencia, Spain this month about friendship, about hri<\/span> and apatrapya<\/span> (self-respect and respect for the wise). I plan to post fuller notes, but part of the talk was about realizing the innate potential of all people, first oneself and then others. It\u2019s to keep us from being judgmental, creating (false) views and fixed opinions (dogmas) of other people or ourselves. But it is also to realize that everyone is capable of helping you too \u2013 it\u2019s just a matter of seeing how, which requires an open heart\/mind.<\/p>\n The more I worry about the judgment of my students, the more my heart\/mind closes in judgment back (they\u2019re just \u2018shopping\u2019 for fun classes, not serious enough\u2026), or judgment of myself (not ready, not educated enough, not enough credentials\u2026). The result is a sharp border between them and me, and no way to communicate \u2013 no teaching, no learning (and bad reviews and no paycheck.. wait, that\u2019s not the important thing here).<\/p>\n The important thing is that I prepare well and then \u201cfollow my bliss<\/a>\u201c. Buddhism<\/a> is an exciting topic. I love to study it, to practice it, and to talk about it. So [clapping my hands with confidence], tomorrow I will do just that, with 180 of my very close friends.<\/p>\n I have my first class tomorrow. That is, I teach my first class tomorrow. I have 174 students. I don\u2019t have my syllabus photo-copied. I don\u2019t have the in-class video excerpt we are supposed to watch. sigh. breath. smile. relax. But really, really I am a bit terrified. Mostly I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll be so nervous […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/7907151-115673831131609781?l=americanbuddhist.blogspot.com\")