my own recent fun with words<\/a>)<\/p>\n\u201cIf you express by fancy words:
It is all stained.
The night encloses brightness:
And, at dawn, no light shines;\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nMore about words \ud83d\ude42 But also, the last two lines brought me back to my recent difficulties in school. My difficulties were more a matter of my attitude toward the experiences than the experiences themselves. I was criticized for a poor performance and my big fat ego<\/span><\/span> just wrenched itself around those critical words \u2013 it felt as if my stomach was being wrapped in knots around my heart and lungs. Just a couple weeks ago I had been praised for a very good performance, and I only laugh now as I see that my pain in the second instance was pretty evenly proportional to my elation in the first.<\/p>\nSo, lacking equanimity, lacking mindfulness, I was manipulated: up<\/span> the hedonic ladder in one instance, down down down<\/span> in the next.<\/p>\n\u2014<\/div>\n
It is not as if the retreat has fixed my above lacks \u2013 but I am aware of them now, quite clearly (which is why I can laugh about what last week had me on the verge of a panic attack).<\/p>\n
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