![\"shutterstock_657518734\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2018\/01\/shutterstock_657518734.jpg\")
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I don\u2019t know a whole lot about sports, but I do know that certain plays in a game aren\u2019t \u201cgood\u201d if the player goes out of bounds. \u00a0In baseball, your pitch isn\u2019t considered good unless it is right over the plate. \u00a0In a football game, you can\u2019t score a field goal unless the football goes directly through the uprights. \u00a0Staying within the boundary lines is extremely important in order for a team to score or better yet win the game. \u00a0It works the same way in our marriage. And, here\u2019s why\u2026 As a couple, we must establish boundaries to protect the integrity of our marriage. \u00a0It is vital that we are on the same page when it comes to this. \u00a0Just like when we\u2019re parenting our children, we must present a united front of established boundaries to those around us\u2026spoken and unspoken.<\/p>\n Healthy boundaries must be in place to protect<\/span> the marriage and position<\/span> the marriage to be as strong as possible. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n So, what boundaries should we establish in our marriage?<\/p>\n Click CONTINUE to find out\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This probably seems like a no-brainer to most of us, but tragically, this happens all-too-often in marriage. Some spouses do this to punish their spouse when they don\u2019t get their way. Others ignore their spouse simply as a means to avoid talking about hard issues. Whatever the motivation, we shouldn\u2019t avoid our spouse and emotionally shut them out of our life. When we do this, we break down the intimacy and leave ourselves and our spouse open to forming unhealthy habits and the temptation to seek connection outside the marriage.<\/p>\n We must always be willing to talk to our spouse regardless of whether or not we feel like it. We make eye contact and connect with him\/her because we love and respect our spouse. And, the more we do this, the stronger, healthier, and happier our marriage will be.<\/strong><\/p>\n Click CONTINUE for the next boundary\u2026<\/span> Sex is an important part of marriage, and it is an amazing way to connect to our spouse that God made exclusively for marriage. Even so, some spouses use sex as a bargaining chip or punishment in their marriage, and this is extremely detrimental to the relationship. It is also wrong! It is clear in the Bible (Corinthians 7:5) that a husband and wife shouldn\u2019t withhold sex from one another unless they have decided to fast for a short<\/em> time to strengthen their faith. Other than that (and health issues, of course), we should strive to keep sex a priority and have it as frequently as possible to stay connected to our spouse and to meet one another\u2019s sexual needs<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n Click CONTINUE to see the next boundary\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Physically hurting one another.<\/strong><\/p>\n This may seem like an obvious one to many, but my husband and I have counseled several couples where this boundary line has been crossed one time too many.<\/p>\n A husband and wife must NEVER slap, hit, grab, push, or pull each other in a physically harmful way. \u00a0It is NEVER warranted and it is NEVER okay. \u00a0This is physically abusive behavior.<\/p>\n As husband and wife, we should only exchange loving physical touch. \u00a0A loving touch is not a forceful one.<\/strong> \u00a0If you are experiencing physical abuse, please go to\u00a0The Hotline<\/a>, for more information and ways to get help.<\/p>\n Click CONTINUE to see the next boundary\u2026<\/span> 4. \u00a0Speaking negatively about your husband\/wife to other people, including other family members.<\/strong><\/p>\n If we have a problem with one another, we need to address the problem directly. \u00a0Nothing good will come from us going to our friends and family about a problem that we really need to take up with our spouse. \u00a0This doesn\u2019t mean that we can\u2019t have people in our life that we can talk to about our marriage. \u00a0We just need to be careful with HOW we talk about our spouse and WHAT we say about him\/her to other people\u2026especially family members.<\/p>\n We must understand that it is extremely hard for our flesh and blood to forget the negative things we have told them about our husband\/wife. \u00a0Our parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, and uncles don\u2019t need to know the details of every disagreement we have with our spouse.<\/p>\n Marriage is hard enough without extended family drama, so we certainly don\u2019t need to add to the problem. \u00a0We must be mindful of our tone and words.<\/strong><\/p>\n Besides, it\u2019s WRONG to talk badly about anyone\u2026especially our husband\/wife. \u00a0Instead, let\u2019s brag on one another!<\/p>\n Click CONTINUE for the next boundary\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Allowing other people to speak negatively about your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n As husband and wife, we should be the first to protect each other\u2019s reputations. \u00a0Yet, many times, we are the problem instead of the solution. \u00a0We should never allow our family, friends, or anyone for that matter to speak negatively about our spouse. \u00a0If we witness this, we can put to a stop to it by kindly stating, \u201cPlease don\u2019t talk about my husband\/wife that way.\u201d. \u00a0It\u2019s as simple as that.<\/p>\n If the person we are talking to won\u2019t oblige, \u00a0then we kindly walk away. \u00a0We will set a precedent with our words and actions, and our spouse will appreciate knowing that we have his\/her back.<\/strong><\/p>\n Click CONTINUE for the next boundary\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6. \u00a0Keeping secrets from one another.<\/strong><\/p>\n Unless we are planning a surprise party for our spouse, we have no business keeping any secrets from him\/her.<\/p>\n When we keep secrets of any kind from each other, we limit the amount of intimacy we can experience with one another. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Consider each secret to be a brick that we are adding to a \u201cwall of secrets\u201d between us and our spouse. \u00a0Some bricks might be bigger than others, but all secrets are the building blocks of the wall.<\/p>\n There should be no barricade between husband and wife. \u00a0We must stay inside the same boundary lines, and the \u201cwall of secrets\u201d is certainly out of bounds. \u00a0There should be no SECRET money, friends, texts, emails, letters, jobs, purchases, phone calls, phones, social media exchanges, social media accounts, health issues, trips, outings, lunches, dinners, etc..<\/p>\n As husband and wife, we long to fully KNOW and BE KNOWN by one another. \u00a0This longing will not be fulfilled if we keep secrets.<\/p>\n For more on the danger of keeping secrets, check out\u00a0\u201c4 Keys to a More Secure Marriage\u201d.<\/a><\/p>\n Click CONTINUE for the next boundary\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 7. \u00a0Speaking unkindly to or shouting at one another.<\/strong><\/p>\n Every married couple is going to disagree at some point, and we might argue at times. \u00a0It is good to go ahead and talk through a disagreement than to hold it inside and let it fester.<\/p>\n However\u2026and let me make this crystal clear\u2026it is NEVER okay to speak in a nasty tone, use harsh language, or scream and shout at each other. \u00a0This is being verbally abusive, and contrary to the age-old saying, words CAN hurt us. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to forget hateful things that are said to us. \u00a0We don\u2019t have a license to give our spouse a tongue-lashing. \u00a0In fact, we made a promise to love our spouse through the good and the bad. \u00a0Lashing out at each other is certainly not loving one another. \u00a0We must always do out best to approach a disagreement with our spouse as calmly and lovingly as possible.<\/p>\n For a practical guide on how to do this effectively, please read \u201c4 Big DOs and DON\u2019Ts When Arguing with Your Spouse\u201d.<\/a><\/p>\n Also, be sure to get your\u00a0FREE 31-Day Marriage Devotional, by clicking here.<\/a><\/p>\n Let\u2019s always do our best to stay within the boundary lines of a healthy marriage. \u00a0Be blessed!<\/p>\n
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\nClick CONTINUE for more on this\u2026<\/span>
\n<\/p>\n![\"shutterstock_499198684\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2017\/11\/shutterstock_499198684.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"2.](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2016\/02\/shutterstock_103277507-300x200.jpg\")
\nTo answer this question, we must contemplate which acts are considered \u201cout of bounds\u201d in marriage. \u00a0Here are 7 important boundaries that spouses SHOULD AVOID to cultivate a strong marriage:<\/p>\n\n
\n<\/p>\n![\"1.](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2016\/02\/shutterstock_309587519-300x200.jpg\")
\n2. Withholding sex from your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2016\/04\/shutterstock_217550290-e1471615703308.jpg\")
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\n<\/p>\n![\"\u00a0](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2016\/08\/shutterstock_282449075-300x235-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Be](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2017\/07\/shutterstock_453228295.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"10.](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2017\/07\/shutterstock_147827981-2-e1466525219478.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![3. \u00a0Respond with accusing words like \"You NEVER\" or \"You ALWAYS\".](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/508\/2017\/07\/shutterstock_74106820-1.jpg\")
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