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<\/a><\/p>\nWe often use the terms \u201canxious\u201d and \u201canxiety\u201d to describe our nervousness or apprehension about something. \u00a0But, for those who suffer with recurring anxiety attacks, we know all-to-well how real anxiety can interrupt our lives, steal our joy, and greatly affect our role as husbands or wives.<\/p>\n
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I have been suffering with anxiety since I was a young girl. \u00a0What started as a little worry would quickly turn into a full-fledge crisis within my mind over time. \u00a0There is a distinct difference between the non-anxious mind and the anxious mind\u2026<\/p>\n
Imagine that you are jumping off of a diving board into a swimming pool. \u00a0As you plunge into the water, you start to sink down but quickly move your arms to make your way up to the surface to breathe. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n This is how we are supposed to deal with worry. \u00a0The worry may enter our minds, but we quickly find a way to find our way out of it\u2026whether it be through talking about it, thinking about it, reading scripture, praying, etc.. \u00a0When we handle worry normally, it is not a STAYING place. \u00a0We just pass through it.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Now, imagine that you are jumping off the diving board, and the minute you hit the water you begin to sink lower and lower. \u00a0Your arms don\u2019t move. \u00a0Your chest feels the pressure from the lack of oxygen. \u00a0You feel the enormous weight of the water all around you. \u00a0You begin to move your arms back and forth, but you can\u2019t make your way up to the surface. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n You are stuck. \u00a0Paralyzed by fear. \u00a0You want to make it up to the surface, but the weight is just too heavy.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n This is exactly how it feels when we experience an anxiety attack or ongoing anxiety over time. \u00a0It\u2019s more than a worrisome thought. \u00a0We want to shake it off, but it\u2019s a much more complicated process for us. \u00a0For more on this, read\u00a0\u201cHope for Those Who Worry\u201d, by clicking here.<\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Some of you know exactly what I am talking about, while others might see this kind of recurring struggle in their spouses. \u00a0I am writing this blog to help all of us gain a greater understanding of what it really means to be anxious and \u00a0how husbands and wives have a great capacity to help each other when one is facing anxiety. \u00a0Here are 5 things your anxious spouse wants you to know:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 1. \u00a0We are not crazy.<\/strong><\/p>\n As I described earlier, an anxious mind certainly works differently than a non-anxious mind, but that doesn\u2019t mean that we are \u201ccrazy\u201d. \u00a0Many times, an anxious person is hard to spot because we often put on a \u201chappy face\u201d and are highly-functioning. \u00a0We try to hide our anxious episodes because we don\u2019t want to burden our families. \u00a0But, we are not crazy. \u00a0In fact, we are all-to-aware of our anxiety\u2026and that causes us to spiral into more anxiety. \u00a0The anxious person has a hard time emotionally and mentally coping with life during a season or many seasons.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0We can often recognize our own anxiety for what it is.<\/strong><\/p>\n Most of the time, we KNOW that we are not thinking clearly. \u00a0We realize that we are anxious. \u00a0We sincerely desire to get better, but we often don\u2019t know where to start. \u00a0We feel like a sailboat just waiting for the wind to catch our sail. \u00a0But, we can recognize that we NEED the wind and want to get out of our anxious downhill spiral.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Our anxiety can be emotionally paralyzing and physically limiting at times.<\/strong><\/p>\n I believe that this is the the hardest one for those without anxiety to understand. \u00a0When we experience anxious moments, our thoughts become stuck on the worry or stress that we are enduring. \u00a0It\u2019s like a bird making a nest in our heads and then laying eggs. \u00a0Then, the eggs hatch and, yes, more birds. \u00a0Anxiety has a way of multiplying, and sometimes, it manifests itself into a full-blown anxiety attack. \u00a0During an attack, our heart starts racing, we sweat, we can have stomach pains, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, trouble breathing, and even heart palpitations. \u00a0It paralyzes us for that moment and eventually passes, but it is as real as any sickness. \u00a0And, therefore, we must get help.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0We need your patience and compassion.<\/strong><\/p>\n Overcoming anxiety is a process that often takes lots of prayer, time, and counseling. \u00a0Sometimes, medication is needed to help our brains regain and maintain the proper levels of serotonin. \u00a0I went through years of counseling before I felt like I was able to overcome my anxiety.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n My husband,\u00a0Dave<\/a>, played an instrumental role in my recovery. \u00a0He NEVER told me to \u201csnap out of it\u201d. \u00a0He would listen to me talk about my feelings for hours on end. \u00a0He prayed with me constantly and would remind me of the truth of God\u2019s Word. \u00a0He helped me to find a good counselor and showed me great compassion during the many nights I would cry myself to sleep.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I often felt guilty that I couldn\u2019t shake the anxiety, and I remember telling Dave that he deserved a better wife who wasn\u2019t crazy. \u00a0He would always take my hands, stare straight into my eyes, and assure me that I am his one and only and that we would get through this together. \u00a0I don\u2019t think I would have recovered without his steadfast support, patience, and compassion. \u00a0I am forever thankful to him for truly living out the marital vow of \u201cin sickness and in health\u201d during those long, difficult years.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Don\u2019t give up on us; there is HOPE in recovery.<\/strong><\/p>\n I have experienced first hand that there is tremendous hope in recovery from anxiety. \u00a0More than anything, we need to know that our spouses won\u2019t give up on us. \u00a0Spouses, we need to know that you believe that we will get better. \u00a0Please don\u2019t add to our anxiety by trying to rush our recovery process or doubting that we will ever be able to recover in the first place.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Please choose your words carefully. \u00a0Encourage us to get help. \u00a0Take us to the doctor\/psychologist\/counselor. \u00a0Just don\u2019t give up on us or decide that we will never be able to have a life without constant anxiety. \u00a0That is simply not true. \u00a0We must remember and cling to these scriptures:<\/p>\n Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Philippians 4:6<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and self-control.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n 2 Timothy 1:7<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Romans 8:37<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n God clearly doesn\u2019t want us to live with an anxious mind. \u00a0It is my prayer that both the anxious spouse and non-anxious spouse work together to find freedom from anxiety and peace in the home.<\/p>\n For more on supporting your spouse and building a stronger marriage, please check out our latest resource,\u00a0\u201cThe Marriage Minute\u201d, by clicking here.<\/a><\/p>\n