{"id":657,"date":"2014-11-21T09:12:33","date_gmt":"2014-11-21T17:12:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/askangus\/?p=657"},"modified":"2014-11-21T09:12:33","modified_gmt":"2014-11-21T17:12:33","slug":"ask-angus-31-ambush-picnic-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/askangus\/2014\/11\/ask-angus-31-ambush-picnic-therapy\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask Angus #31: Ambush Picnic Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Don\u2019t Fear the Reaper: I am a Wiccan who is engaged to an agnostic. Normally my religion and practices don\u2019t bother him but every year around Samhain, I practically have to go back into the broom closet around him. This is because he can\u2019t deal with the idea of death, he claims he\u2019s not afraid of it but rather hates it.
\n\"DarkGoddessOffering\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

He hates the myth of the Wiccan God and his yearly sacrifice, he hates that I put out food for wandering spirits. I can\u2019t even tell him I\u2019m going to the graveyard to tend to graves because it upsets him. I don\u2019t know what to do, but I don\u2019t want this seasonal strain on our relationship to continue. His views of death are unhealthy but he refuses to discuss it. I did manage to learn from his mother that when he was in high school his girlfriend died in a car accident when he was out of state visiting family. If this is whats causing him such torment I\u2019d like to help him move past it but I don\u2019t know how. Any suggestions?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Reap,<\/p>\n

Yeeeaaahhh, that\u2019s a sticky wicket to be sure. It sounds like both of you are serious about the relationship and have long term plans with each other. Yay! Buuut, there\u2019s this THING that is causing you both pain.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how to break it down: How much pain?<\/em> <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to get specific, just generalize: Small, Medium, or Large is fine. My guess is that this is medium pain for both of you. Its manageable, but really annoying, and its characterized by its longevity. Medium pain like this is periodic and lingering. Ick.<\/p>\n

Now. Its not going to go away on its own, and sticking with the Status Quo is going to be a drag. So we will have to make your fiance face his fears and hopefully show him how positive and affirming the Wiccan view of death really is. Does this sound awful? It is! Does it sound intimidating? Yepper! And what is frightening about this scenario is how big this scenario is. This is Large Pain. But here\u2019s the catch: Its a short-duration kinda deal.<\/p>\n

Instead of dealing with Seasonal, ongoing Medium Pain, take a brave pill and tackle the one-time Big Pain.<\/p>\n

You want him to be happy, right? To be a more well-rounded, grounded, open-minded kinda fellow \u2013 correct? So here\u2019s where you put on the big-girl panties and paddle into unknown waters.\"blessedharvest\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And yeah, you may have to whack him with your oar.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a possible scenario for this showdown:<\/p>\n

1) Do your homework.<\/strong><\/p>\n