1. Give them as many opportunities as possible to succeed.
All male humanoids need to feel that they are good at what they do. It is an integral part of what it means to be a man – or a boy. The problem is, that especially when you are a younger man or boy, opportunities for success are limited and opportunities to mess up are everywhere. With each mess up – the bad grade, the dropped pass, the choice that disappoints your parents – the boy thinks less and less of himself.
Tweet this: “All men need to feel that they are good at what they do. It’s an integral part of what it means to be a man or a boy.“
As I did the research for For Parents Only, I heard the heart of the teenage boys who said over and over “I wish my mom would let me just TRY this!” Or “I wish she would just let me do it MY way!” That comment might sound innocuous but it a huge signal.
Whether it was wanting to mow the lawn, do the dishes, or install the new television set, boys wanted to try to do things without their moms and dads looking over their shoulders. Will they get it right every time without our help? Of course not. Is it worth it for the dishes to (initially) be jammed into the dishwasher incorrectly, to give a boy who desperately needs it a sense of accomplishment? I would argue: absolutely! This may seem a little odd to any moms looking at this, but to a boy every correction will feel like a failure. They already get that a lot at school. We need to figure out ways to minimize it at home; which means reserving “that was a failure” messages for truly essential things.
Tweet this: “Boys want to try new things without parents looking over their shoulders.“
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