Secret #1: It’s not about directions… It’s about his feeling of INCOMPETENCE
A man’s defensive behavior in this area makes no sense to us for one reason: in our minds, we’ll go with whatever will get us there quickly, efficiently, with the least worry about being late.
We are efficiency experts! If I’m in a big department store and I can’t figure out where they sell the exercise wear, the quickest solution is to ask. Take that escalator to the 3rd level? Excellent, I’m there.
The reason men don’t see it that way is that the biggest, deepest fear of a man is being incompetent. Inadequate. That he doesn’t measure up. And not being able to figure something out on his own is exhibit A of not measuring up. He tried – and failed. It confirms his deepest fear.
It sounds so odd to us, but in a man’s mind, more help is not better. In his mind, needing more help confirms he is incompetent.
That is a bad enough feeling when he is on his own. As you’ll see in Secret 2, it becomes excruciating when someone else adds to his humiliation.
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