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Hey guys, here\u2019s a heads-up: Valentine\u2019s Day is less than a week away. You might already be well aware of that and have been wracking your brain trying to come up with something extra special to give your wife this year. Or maybe you think Valentine\u2019s Day is a big racket invented by the greeting card companies and you\u2019re feeling frustrated that you\u2019re supposed to come up with something \u201cromantic\u201d to do year after year. It\u2019s also quite possible that you\u2019re thinking \u201cUh-oh!\u201d because you\u2019ve totally forgotten about it in the crush of post-holiday season catch-up at work.<\/p>\n
Wherever you stand on Valentine\u2019s Day, know this: whether we\u2019re celebrating a holiday or not, your wife needs to feel loved and romanced by you. Every day of the year, she needs to know that she is your one and only, that you\u2019d choose her again. Very simply, she needs to know that you love<\/em><\/strong> her.<\/p>\n It might surprise you to know that your wife doesn\u2019t feel forever loved and happy just because you declared your forever love and married her. In fact, 82% of women\u00a0in our research<\/a>\u00a0have an unspoken question about \u201cam I loveable?\u201d and \u201cdoes he\u00a0really\u00a0<\/em>love me?\u201d that doesn\u2019t go away in marriage.<\/p>\n Your wife is asking that unspoken question every day, and you are answering it \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d every day\u2014whether you realize it or not.<\/p>\n Answering that question \u201cyes\u201d in the little things of life\u2014on Valentine\u2019s Day and every day\u2014is the way to truly romance your wife and make her feel secure and happy.<\/p>\n Here are four ways to do that.<\/p>\n Please note: This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn a small amount from qualifying purchases through these affiliate links. This doesn\u2019t cost you anything.<\/em> You might have thought you were off the hook for initiating the date nights out or other activities that were designed to win her over before you were married. But you\u2019re not! She\u2019s a smart woman, and she has realized that the best way to ensure that your attention is pulled away from the house\/kids\/yard\/work and focused on the two of you, is to have time together. That makes her very happy.<\/p>\n Having dinner with your small group from church, taking her to a company party, or going out to breakfast with the in-laws is great, but isn\u2019t a date. She needs (and deserves) your undivided attention. Set aside schedules and projects for a few hours. Escape the busyness of life and just enjoy being together.<\/p>\n The good news is: dates with your wife don\u2019t have to be extravagant, complicated, or meticulously planned. They can be simple, casual, and inexpensive; matching your schedules to grab lunch together, meeting for coffee while little Jessica is at ballet, or getting a babysitter and going to a movie. Dating your wife is an investment that pays big dividends in the long-term health and happiness of your marriage.<\/p>\n The important thing is that your wife feels special, pursued, and loved.\u00a0Because of her hidden vulnerability, your wife\u2019s \u201cI do\u201d will always mean \u201cDo you?\u201d Dating her keeps her answering it well. It turns out that\u00a0spending time together strengthens your marriage, no matter what you are doing.<\/p>\n This is where breakfast with the in-laws or dinner with your friends from church\u00a0does\u00a0<\/em>count. This is where doing a hobby together, sitting on the couch and watching TV, or hiking with the kids\u00a0does\u00a0<\/em>make a difference in your marriage. In fact, spending time together is a powerful predictor of a happy marriage, according to survey respondents from the research for my book\u00a0The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages<\/em><\/a>.<\/em>\u00a0Survey results showed that 83% of \u201cvery happy\u201d couples spent time together at least weekly.<\/p>\n Finding ways to connect and strengthen the friendship between the two of you will always make your wife happy. Want a quick \u201cwow\u201d from your wife? When she starts sharing something important about her day or is telling a story about how her sister stood her up for lunch\u00a0again,\u00a0<\/em>stop what you\u2019re doing, put your attention on her, and listen.<\/p>\n Make a point of showing her that your attention is on her.<\/em>\u00a0For example, if she\u2019s upset about something that happened at work, sit down at the kitchen table instead of continuing upstairs to change out of your work clothes.\u00a0<\/em>Pull out a chair and sit and listen\u2014and pull out a chair for her as well.\u00a0Put your phone on the counter, so you aren\u2019t distracted. She will feel very loved. You chose a wonderful woman to be your wife. She needs you to keep choosing her.\u00a0And you can do that with the simplest actions. Like putting your arm around her in church. Like taking her hand when you are crossing a parking lot.\u00a0Like calling her for no reason, just to say hi. Like apologizing when you\u2019ve been in a funk and reassuring her that the two of you are okay. Like sending her a text message during the day that says, \u201cI was just watching some drama play out at work and feeling so grateful for how kind and generous you are.\u00a0I really scored when I met you. I love you.\u201d We promise: she will screenshot and save that text message.<\/p>\n The good news is: even if you hadn\u2019t realized how vital these actions are to making your wife feel loved, now you know. They are super simple. You can start right away. And what better time than Valentine\u2019s Day? Review this list again and think about the specific ways you will give your wife the gift of real-life romance\u2014of love, security, and happiness\u2014on Valentine\u2019s Day\u2026 and every other day of the year.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Improve your relationships with simple, actionable steps backed by proven research! Visit SurprisingHope.com<\/strong><\/a> to learn about our courses.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\nReal-Life Romance Action #1: Continue to go on dates.<\/h2>\n
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<\/h2>\nReal-Life Romance Action #2: Spend time together, regardless of what you\u2019re doing.<\/h2>\n
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Real-Life Romance Action #3: Put down your phone, turn off the TV and listen to her\u2014so it\u2019s\u00a0obvious\u00a0<\/em>that you\u2019re listening.<\/h2>\n
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<\/h2>\nReal-Life Romance Action #4: Do the little daily things that say, \u201cI would choose you all over again.\u201d<\/h2>\n
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