Are you full to the rim?<\/strong> Once upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar\u2019s cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. The scholar burst out: \u201cStop! You can\u2019t add anything to something that\u2019s already full!\u201d The saint set down the teapot and replied, \u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s the blankness of a canvas to an artist, the silence between the notes in music, bare dirt for a new garden, the not-knowing openness of a scientist exploring new hypotheses, an unused shelf in a closet or cupboard, or some open time in your schedule, you need space<\/em> to act effectively<\/a>, dance with your partners, and have room around your emotional reactions.<\/p>\n Yet most of us, me included, tend to stuff as much as possible into whatever room is available \u2013 room in closets, schedules, budgets, relationships, and even the mind itself.<\/p>\n For example, as I\u2019ve lately been focusing on relaxing<\/a> and rejuvenating after some medical stuff, it\u2019s painfully obvious how much my mind is filled with themes of work: little details of tasks to do, problems to avert, opportunities to capture keep swelling up again into awareness to capture my attention. For a friend of mine, the wallpaper of her own mind, as she puts it, is rumination about her health problems.<\/p>\n Cultures can get overstuffed as well. For instance, when I visited Australia, it seemed that most people there operated at about 85% of capacity in general, unlike my experience of Americans (e.g., me) pushing as close to 100% as possible. So when you bumped into Australians you knew on the street, they had time to hang out and talk with you \u2013 and time in their own lives for leisure, reflection, and creativity.<\/p>\n Remember the cup: its value is in the space, the emptiness, it holds.<\/p>\n How?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Be more mindful of the element of space, openness, possibility, reserve capacity, and emptiness in your life. This includes room in a drawer, the volume of air in a kitchen, the vacuum in a lightbulb, openmindedness in a friend, or minimal traffic on a highway. Consciously appreciate the beneficial somethings that are the gifts of various nothings.<\/p>\n What\u2019s the \u201cwallpaper\u201d in your own mind \u2013 the everyday preoccupations that fill it up like bermuda grass taking over a yard? The usual suspects include recurring worries, issues with work, resentments, and regrets. Try to be more mindful of these, and disengage faster when they start taking over. Shift your attention to something that\u2019s positive and interesting, and then try to invest yourself more in this topic.<\/p>\n Sometimes you\u2019re just stuck with a big bucket of tasks yet to do (I\u2019ve been there . . . oops, I still am here!). But at least empty the bucket faster than you fill it with new tasks.<\/p>\n Put some space between finishing one thing and starting another. For example, after sending one email, take a breath before replying to another one; when the dishes are done, pause for a break; in a conversation, let the ending of one topic reverberate for a moment before launching another one; take real time for lunch.<\/p>\n Drop the stuff you can no longer afford to lug around. At sea level, you can run with a brick in your backpack, but if you\u2019re hiking on a mountain, that brick\u2019s got to go. Similarly, most of us have some habits, indulgences, ideas, grudges, or fixations that were kind of OK at one time but now \u2013 with changing circumstances (such as juggling more balls, raising a family, aging) \u2013 are wearing you down and really need to go. What\u2019s your own brick? What would you gain by emptying it out of your own backpack?<\/p>\n Explore the practice not-adding as a form of subtracting, emptying: not<\/em> firing back with a tart rejoinder in a quarrel . . . not<\/em> presuming you know the right answer to something . . . not<\/em> taking on a new commitment . . . not<\/em> plopping more stuff on the counter . . . not<\/em> piling on another self-criticism . . .<\/p>\n Enjoy emptiness in the forms that speak to you: perhaps the quiet at night when everyone\u2019s asleep but you, a blank page in your journal, a friend\u2019s receptive listening, an open counter as you begin to cook (love this one myself), a hole in your schedule, the space between thoughts as your mind calms and becomes still, or a Saturday with no plans at all.<\/p>\n Or a cup waiting patiently for tea.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Rick Hanson, Ph.D.<\/strong>, is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling Buddha\u2019s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom<\/em><\/a> (in 20 languages) \u2013 and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time<\/a><\/em>. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom<\/a> and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley<\/a>, he\u2019s taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers worldwide. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health<\/em>, and U.S. News and World Report<\/em> and he has several audio programs<\/a>. His blog \u2013 Just One Thing<\/a> \u2013 has over 30,000 subscribers and suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Are you full to the rim? The Practice: Empty the cup. Why? Once upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar\u2019s cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":270,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[302,304],"tags":[32,38,41,308,111,150,162,163,185,187,208,222,227,307,294],"class_list":["post-298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness-2","category-inner-peace","tag-brain","tag-buddhas-brain","tag-buddhism","tag-contemplative-practi","tag-happiness","tag-love","tag-mind-brain","tag-mindfulness","tag-neuroplasticity","tag-neuroscience","tag-positive-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-rick-hanson","tag-running-on-empty","tag-wisdom"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n The Practice:<\/strong><\/em>
\n Empty the cup.<\/strong>
\n Why?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n