{"id":338,"date":"2012-04-17T12:59:27","date_gmt":"2012-04-17T18:59:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/asthewheelturns\/?p=338"},"modified":"2012-04-17T12:59:27","modified_gmt":"2012-04-17T18:59:27","slug":"stay-right-when-youre-wronged","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/asthewheelturns\/2012\/04\/stay-right-when-youre-wronged\/","title":{"rendered":"Stay Right When You’re Wronged"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

What happens after you\u2019re mistreated?<\/strong>
\nThe Practice:<\/strong><\/em>
\nStay right when you\u2019re wronged.<\/strong>
\n Why?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to treat people well when they treat you well. The real test is when they treat you badly.<\/p>\n

Think of times you\u2019ve been truly wronged, in small ways or big ones. Maybe someone stole something , turned others against you, broke an agreement, cheated on you, or spoke unfairly or abusively.<\/p>\n

When things like these happen, I feel mad, hurt, startled, wounded, sad. Naturally it arises to want to strike back and punish, get others to agree with me, and make a case<\/a> against the other person in my own mind.<\/p>\n

These feelings and impulses are normal. But what happens if you get caught up in reactions and go overboard? (Which is different from keeping your cool, seeing the big picture, and acting wisely \u2013 which we\u2019ll explore below.) There\u2019s usually a release and satisfaction, and thinking you\u2019re justified. It feels good.<\/p>\n

For a little while.<\/p>\n

But bad things usually follow. The other person overreacts, too, in a vicious cycle. Other people \u2013 relatives, friends, co-workers \u2013 get involved and muddy the water. You don\u2019t look very good when you act out of upset, and others remember. It gets harder to work through the situation in a reasonable way. After the dust settles, you feel bad inside.<\/p>\n

As the Buddha said long ago, \u201cGetting angry with another person is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.\u201d You can see much the same thing internationally. Gandhi put it so well: \u201cAn eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sure, you need to clarify your position, stand up for yourself, set boundaries, speak truth<\/a> to power. The art \u2013 and I\u2019m still working on it, myself! \u2013 is to do these things without the fiery excesses that have bad consequences for you, others, and our fragile planet.<\/p>\n

How?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Start by getting centered, which often takes just a dozen seconds or so:<\/p>\n