{"id":11714,"date":"2013-09-20T07:13:29","date_gmt":"2013-09-20T11:13:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/astrologicalmusings\/?p=11714"},"modified":"2013-09-20T07:13:29","modified_gmt":"2013-09-20T11:13:29","slug":"freedomcloseness-dilemma-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/astrologicalmusings\/blog\/freedomcloseness-dilemma-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"The &#8220;Freedom\/Closeness&#8221; Dilemma in relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><figure id=\"attachment_11715\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11715\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/130\/2013\/09\/Allison-Rex.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11715\" alt=\"Breaking Pointe\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/130\/2013\/09\/Allison-Rex-300x450.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"450\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11715\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Breaking Pointe<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p><p>My new guilty television pleasure is the program \u201cBreaking Pointe,\u201d a reality show about dancers in a ballet company in Salt Lake City. \u00a0They ran last year\u2019s season on BBC America which is where I found it, and then this year\u2019s season ran on the CW network.<\/p>\n<p>One of the featured dancers, Allison, is involved in a classic push me\/pull you relationship with Rex, another of the dancers. \u00a0In this kind of relationship one partner is pushing to be closer and the other one is distancing \u2013 pushing away. \u00a0However what often happens is that the roles switch and the formerly distancing partner becomes the one who wants to be closer.<\/p>\n<p>In the Allison\/Rex dynamic, Allison was involved with another man, Jonathan. \u00a0Then she and Rex had an affair and she broke up with Jonathan. \u00a0Rex still wanted to be with her and she pushed him away. \u00a0Then she realized Jonathan was a jerk and now she wants to be with Rex. \u00a0Now Rex is saying, not so fast \u2013 I\u2019m not so sure I want this.<\/p>\n<p>Howard Sasportas and Liz Greene coined the term the \u201cfreedom\/closeness\u201d dilemma to describe the conflict between the basic need to attach and feel safe with another human being and the need to differentiate the Self and become more comfortable as an autonomous individual. \u00a0This is a process that begins in infancy but it can become distorted and corrupted in certain family situations. \u00a0But really, those of us with this dynamic were born with a prospensity towards this conflict, and this is evident in our birthcharts.<\/p>\n<p>Certain signs and planetary placements crave closeness and security, and others indicate a push for greater autonomy and freedom. \u00a0The water and earth signs tend to crave attachment and safety; the air and fire signs yearn for freedom and space. \u00a0Neptune, Venus and the Moon are connectors \u2013 Mars, Uranus and Jupiter are detachers.<\/p>\n<p>Often in this kind of chart we see an individual who may be completely unaware of their need for space, who longs for connection but who habitually chooses unavailable partners. \u00a0Or they might be in long-term relationships in which intimacy is avoided as a means of finding space. \u00a0Most often we vacillate back and forth \u2013 in one relationship we are the pursuer and in the next we take the role of the pursued. \u00a0 One individual with an intimacy\/distance conflict will nearly always attract another with the same conflict until we understand and recognize that the conflict is actually in our own psyche.<\/p>\n<p>We can see that clearly in the Allison and Rex dynamic. \u00a0Allison was unavailable, and Rex wanted to be with her. \u00a0Jonathan had moved away and then Allison wanted to be with him. \u00a0Then she realized Rex had always been there for her and Jonathan was a bit of a jerk, so she decided she loved Rex after all. \u00a0And now Rex says, \u201cNot so fast, lady. \u00a0I\u2019m not so sure I want this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Astrology\u2019s magic lies in its ability to draw open the curtain and reveal the workings of the psyche. \u00a0Once we understand why we behave the way we do, making changes where necessary to lead a \u00a0happier and more productive life becomes easier and more rewarding.<\/p>\n<p>[related_posts limit=\u201d5\u2033 image=\u201d50\u2033]<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My new guilty television pleasure is the program \u201cBreaking Pointe,\u201d a reality show about dancers in a ballet company in Salt Lake City. \u00a0They ran last year\u2019s season on BBC America which is where I found it, and then this year\u2019s season ran on the CW network. One of the featured dancers, Allison, is involved [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":537,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2422,35],"tags":[2687,2688],"class_list":["post-11714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-favorite-posts","category-relationships","tag-breaking-pointe","tag-unavailable-partners"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The &quot;Freedom\/Closeness&quot; Dilemma in relationships - Astrological Musings<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My new guilty television pleasure is the program &quot;Breaking Pointe,&quot; a reality show about dancers in a ballet company in Salt Lake City. \u00a0They ran last\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/astrologicalmusings\/blog\/freedomcloseness-dilemma-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The &quot;Freedom\/Closeness&quot; 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