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{"id":2217,"date":"2014-08-06T06:00:41","date_gmt":"2014-08-06T14:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/awitchsashram\/?p=2217"},"modified":"2014-08-05T20:26:52","modified_gmt":"2014-08-06T04:26:52","slug":"looking-from-lammas-to-mabon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/awitchsashram\/2014\/08\/06\/looking-from-lammas-to-mabon\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking from Lammas to Mabon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

The Wheel is turning. I feel it. High summer\u2019s heat is softened \u2019round the edges. It\u2019s bite is less sharp, though no less taxing when getting three children in and out of stifling car seats. I\u2019m tired of sweating. I never like to rush a season, for time moves swiftly enough as it is, but I cannot wait for late summer, when the Wheel slips toward Mabon and full on Fall.<\/p>\n

I am looking forward to the colors of leaves, to brisk air in the mornings, to rain, to the dark. I want to be able to wear my baby on long walks with out worry that she\u2019ll get overheated or my shirt will plaster itself to me all damp and stinky. I\u2019m tired of smelling \u2013 of sweat, pee, and sour milk.<\/p>\n

I can say that I want quiet time, but I get that every now again. Sitting in meditation reminds me that I have \u2018quiet time PTSD.\u2019 Every five seconds I\u2019m braced for a child to come wailing or stomping into my lap. I twitch at every sound: is that the baby about to stir? No? Are the kids just talking or is the Big Brother bullying his sister? No? I\u2019m poised to parent. This constant stopping and starting is so incredibly taxing.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m grateful for the quiet time I do get. In my last post<\/a> I wrote about not letting the tyranny of perfectionism prevent me from doing the things that I know I like, that are good for me, that are helpful, even if they\u2019re not in perfect packages. But sometimes I\u2019m tired of five minutes here and there. I\u2019m tired of\u00a0 filling my days with a tiny bit of this and that. Some days even the good things feel like one more Should.<\/p>\n

What I want is to frolic. I was reading a blog post by a mentor of mine<\/a> and I had a flash of desire: a circle of women, holding hands, dancing in the sunset in an unkempt yard \u2013 mine! Wreaths in hair, late summer sunset, the smell of earth and parched grass trampled under foot, the sounds of crickets and laughter, chanting and enchanting. Frolicking with the Fey. That\u2019s what I need.<\/p>\n

$\"witchesdancinginacircle\"$ <\/a>I\u2019m tired of practice and small efforts. I want to frolic, to do, to revel in what I\u2019ve gained thus far. That is what I\u2019m craving as the Wheel turns.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"