My Korean friend: (behind me, making food) \u201cSo what about babies that die before being baptized, do they go to hell?\u201d
Me: (washing dishes) \u201cNo, because they are innocent and God is merciful.\u201d
Her: \u201cI agree.\u201d
Me: \u201cSame with adults.\u201d
Her: \u201cWhat?\u201d
Me: \u201cYou know, if an adult is innocent and has never been baptized, God is merciful.\u201d
Her: \u201cNo, no, no, they all go to hell.\u201d
Me: \u201cSo are the babies just too cute for hell?\u201d
Her: \u201cNo, the Bible says \u201cno one comes to the Father except through me!\u201d
Me: \u201cThrough him,\u00a0Exactly. It does not say through personal knowledge of Him.\u201d
Her: \u201cYou are attacking my relationship with God.\u201d
Me: (stopping washing dishes and trying to catch up) Er, am I?
Her: Yes, God told me that those who don\u2019t know Him go to hell.
Me: That\u2019s awkward, because God told me the\u00a0exact\u00a0opposite.
(silence except for the loud and angry creation of coleslaw behind me)
Me: You know what\u2019d be great? Some kind of authority that we could be absolutely sure was guided by the Holy Spirit to make decisive answers on this sort of stuff.
Her: (does not take the bait).<\/p>\n
Following this escapade, Billy approaches me, full of concern.<\/p>\n
Billy: Marc, I heard you don\u2019t think all Buddhists are going to hell. That isn\u2019t true is it?
Me: Uh, no, that sounds about right.
Billy: (absolutely stunned. I cannot tell you how funny his face was wearing the drive-thru headset.)\u00a0Wait.
Me: Yes?
Billy: You\u2019re not Buddhist, are you?
Me: Yeah Billy, I\u2019m Buddhist. You got me.
Billy: (more shocked, called away to take an order)<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know whether Billy still thinks I\u2019m Buddhist, but he is in the habit of singing \u201cHow Great Is Our God\u201d rather pointedly whenever he passes me.<\/p>\n
Also, a few one\/two-liners that I remember:<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my dad makes me go to the Christmas mass once a year, I hate it.\u201d
Me: \u201cYou probably don\u2019t want to go to heaven then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you guys doing?\u201d
\u201cHaving sex.\u201d
\u201cWhat\u2026Catholic sex?\u201d
\u201cIf by which you mean the best kind, then yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peace out! Be happy, be fulfilled, love each other, fight heresy, extol orthodoxy, and maybe tell a friend about a Catholic blog that you perhaps enjoy.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/3060433030054060305-611743223111534591?l=badcatholicblog.blogspot.com\")
<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"So in case you missed it, I work in a violently religious fast food setting. To keep you updated, and happy, I bring to you the following absolutely real excerpts. You saw them here first, bad Catholics. My Korean friend: (behind me, making food) \u201cSo what about babies that die before being baptized, do they […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":121,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n