{"id":102,"date":"2012-01-31T09:19:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-31T09:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/01\/fresh-bread\/"},"modified":"2017-03-09T17:33:02","modified_gmt":"2017-03-09T22:33:02","slug":"fresh-bread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/01\/fresh-bread.html","title":{"rendered":"Fresh Bread"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>\n\n\n\n
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Beaucoup <\/i>apologies for my amateur food photography\/camera phone skills<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

I have to preface this post by saying that my husband is SUCH a freaking Ogre. But really.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

He\u2019s made this unbelievable new \u201crule-ish type thing\u201d where we can\u2019t watch TV or movies during the week. We don\u2019t actually own a TV, but we (and by we I mean me) do our fair share of silver-screening on our computer, and I was right in the middle of the Big Bang Theory! Can you believe it? He\u2019s so unfair.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

Oh yeah, and the reason I called it a \u201crule-ish type thing\u201d is because he brought it up months ago and I agreed with it wholeheartedly. Because, theoretically, I think it would be really good for our family. But then he actually expected me to go through with it! And he even got mad when I tried to make excuses for why I only agreed theoretically and not practically, and how it\u2019s really his fault in the first place because I was just trying to please him and keep his stress level down by agreeing while he was mid-comps. And how I can\u2019t fold laundry unless I\u2019m watching TV, because otherwise I get too bored. See? He\u2019s a tyrant. A tyrant, I tell you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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I will not be moved by your pathetic whining<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Anyway, one of the results of this hideous new development in my life is that I\u2019m actually doing things at night that I would normally put off until *tomorrow* (read: never). One of those things is baking my own bread. I\u2019ve always wanted to be one of those housewives who bakes her own gorgeous loaves of bread, but as my husband forgot to bring my mixer with us to Florida, and as I don\u2019t own a bread machine, I kind of figured that the toll it would take on my arms and temper wouldn\u2019t be worth it.<\/p>\n

But last night we were out of bread, as we have been for the past few days, and I\u2019m trying to be a very frugal housewife and only go to the store when it is UTTERLY necessary. And I couldn\u2019t bring myself to waste half a tank of gas to run to the nearest open store a forty-five minute drive away when I possessed all the ingredients needed for bread-making at home. I figured that since spending the evening with Leonard and Sheldon was not in the cards I might as well dust off my biceps and knead some bread.<\/p>\n

And knead some bread I did. Forever. And ever. And then for ever. It was like Groundhog Day. And not the fun UD kegger-in-the-woods-with-awesome T-shirts kind of Groundhog Day, either. The Bill Murray kind.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0Does anyone else make bread? Has anyone else figured out that when those stupid online housewives write \u201cknead for 8-10 minutes or until smooth, soft and no longer sticky\u201d what they really mean is \u201cknead for a half-hour until your arms go numb, then cry, wipe the sweat off your face, and keep kneading until your fingers break and you figure that better damn well be good enough\u201d? Because I have.<\/p>\n

The bread-making was long, involved, and I didn\u2019t go to bed until nearly midnight after starting the bread at 6:30. Then I had to wake up at 2 to put the fully cooled loaves in plastic bags so the evil little armies of Florida ants wouldn\u2019t make ant-hills inside them. Then I woke up at 7 to make the Ogre breakfast. And then I cried into my coffee.<\/p>\n

But it was all worth it when my kids got their first look at those gorgeous tall, fluffy, golden-brown loaves of goodness this morning. I pulled one down to show Liam, who promptly took a giant bite out of the side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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The damage done<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Worth it<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0There really is something about homemade bread that makes everyone feel so wholesome. Or, well, me at least. Mostly the kids felt hungry. Also, I figure if I make this evil recipe<\/a> once a week, I\u2019ll be doing my part to combat the lunch-lady-arm-epidemic on behalf of housewives everywhere. Right? Right<\/i>?\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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Add caption<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Beaucoup apologies for my amateur food photography\/camera phone skills I have to preface this post by saying that my husband is SUCH a freaking Ogre. But really.\u00a0 He\u2019s made this unbelievable new \u201crule-ish type thing\u201d where we can\u2019t watch TV or movies during the week. We don\u2019t actually own a TV, but we (and by […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFresh Bread<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Beaucoup apologies for my amateur food photography\/camera phone skillsI have to preface this post by saying that my husband is SUCH a freaking Ogre. 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