{"id":1112,"date":"2012-12-09T12:47:52","date_gmt":"2012-12-09T17:47:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=1112"},"modified":"2017-03-09T17:08:24","modified_gmt":"2017-03-09T22:08:24","slug":"sunday-smorgasbord-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/12\/sunday-smorgasbord-5.html","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Smorgasbord"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>So as a direct result of some seriously weird dreams I had last night, I woke up this morning and went searching to see if my Favorite TV Show Of All Time was on Netflix Watch Instantly. I figured it wasn\u2019t, since, objectively speaking, it\u2019s the most ludicrous television show ever to grace the small screen, but lo and behold, there it was! So I\u2019m spending today cuddled up on the couch with my yet-again-sniffling-minions, reliving my high school days by watching <em>Roswell<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/225\/2012\/12\/Roswell.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1113\" title=\"Roswell\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/225\/2012\/12\/Roswell.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"648\" height=\"210\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I know, I know. The show is awful, and the two main characters are almost as emotionless and unbearably wooden as Shovel Face and Vanilla in the <em>Twilight <\/em>movies. However, the badass assortment of supporting characters more than makes up for the dreadful community-theater emoting that Max and Liz make us suffer through. Brendan Fehr\u2019s history as Michael Guerin is the major reason I squealed like a creeper fangirl when he appeared on <em>Bones<\/em>. Katherine Heigl\u2019s turn as Isabel is also the only reason I seemed to have escaped the inexplicable hatred of all things Katherine Heigl that seems to have poisoned everyone, everywhere. Tom Hank\u2019s son Colin is geeky and charming as poor, doomed Alex, and I even loved Emilie de Ravin as Tess. (*Ducks as <em>Roswell<\/em> fans everywhere throw flaming bags of poo at my head*)<\/p>\n<p>But Majandra Delfino is my absolute, all-time favorite television actress. She\u2019s hilarious, bizarre, and a really great singer. Her jazzy voice and whiny, tortured lyrics were my music of choice in high school. They so perfectly captured how difficult my upper-middle-class-suburban adolescence was. Unfortunately she never really took off and her best stuff isn\u2019t available on Youtube for the idle, five-minute searcher, so here, best I can do:<\/p>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Roswell -In the air tonigth\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FwZc_TDZGdc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<p>And you get treated to an obsessive fangirl video montage at the same time! It\u2019s a win-win.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, I\u2019m done writing about Roswell. Sorry.<\/p>\n<p>This morning Sienna woke me up by climbing into bed next to me and saying in a slightly manic, high-pitched tone, \u201cMom! Mom, there\u2019s this guy named the Beaver, and if you like him, you can get Beaver fever. Ashley* totally has Beaver fever. Can I get Beaver fever?<\/p>\n<p>Obviously I was horrified at the innocent-yet-hideously-vulgar miscommunication of the Beiber\u2019s name and quickly corrected her. \u201cNo, Sienna, it\u2019s Beiber. BeiBer. BeiBBBBBBBBBer. Say it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sienna: \u201cBeaver.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Me: \u201cNo! No, B, not V. BieBer. Buhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh-\u201d *looks down and notices Lincoln laughing hysterically* \u201cbuh. B. Bieber. Say it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sienna: \u201cBieber.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Me: \u201cGood job. Okay, now what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sienna proceeds to explain how her friend has \u201cBieber fever\u201d and how Sienna wants Bieber fever too. I have studiously ignored the entire \u201cBieber\u201d phenomenon, having done my teenage-hysteria-penance with the meteoric rise and fall of Hanson. So now I have to find a Bieber song that is appropriate, hopefully with an appropriate music video to match, and not too irritating, so that my daughter can commence being a teenager at the age of almost-seven.<\/p>\n<p>Nope. Scratch that. I\u2019ll just take some facebook advice and show her a re-run of \u201cLeave it to Beaver,\u201d thereby securing my title of \u201cLamest Mom <em>Ever<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s even in black and white, to further ruin her life.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1116\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1116\" style=\"width: 550px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nataliedee.com\/index.php?date=120612\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1116\" title=\"world's okayest mom\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/225\/2012\/12\/worlds-okayest-mom.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"510\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1116\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">My Christmas gift this year<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Oh, in case you scrupulous types are wondering how I can possibly spend the day hanging around in my pajamas watching bad late 90\u2019s teen dramas, since it\u2019s Sunday and if I don\u2019t go to Mass I will DIE AND BURN IN HELL, rest assured that we did the double-whammy yesterday. Mass in the morning for the Immaculate Conception, Vigil Mass in the evening for the Sunday obligation. It went as well as you can imagine two hour-and-a-half long Masses going for three kids whose usual Saturday consists of morning chores and then playing outside with Daddy all afternoon. They were somewhat less than thrilled. Luckily, I have some awesome friggin\u2019 neighbors, and one of them recruited her teenage kids to take Charlotte and Liam to the park in between Masses, while Sienna was at ballet and the Ogre was working on end-of-semester grading, and she and I spent the time wrapping presents. Or rather, she came over, with her own wrapping paper, and wrapped presents for me while I figured out which present belonged to whom, which was for birthdays and which for Christmas, and which grandparent\/aunt said present was from. Also I shaped some bread and put it in the oven while she wrapped clothes in tissue paper. ADD what?<\/p>\n<p>It was fun, though. I love my neighbors. I mean, it\u2019s just not a common experience to have someone send you a facebook message saying, \u201chey, I know you guys are on a tight budget and you\u2019re stressed and I have tons of Christmas wrapping paper, want me to wrap presents for you while my kids take yours to the park?\u201d There are definitely elements of the claustrophobic, living in a small town, but there are also elements of the awesome, like when my neighbors read my pathetic blog posts and all bombard me with offers of help\/dinner\/company. Honestly, I\u2019m really lucky to be in Ave Maria right now. I\u2019ve been <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncregister.com\/blog\/simcha-fisher\/catholic-community-what-why-and-how\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">reading through<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/duffy\/2012\/12\/what-does-help-for-moms-look-like\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"> all the posts<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/thewinedarksea.com\/index.php\/weblog\/comments\/motherhood_isolation_and_the_meaning_of_christian_brotherhood\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">that have popped up <\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2012\/11\/28\/open-hand-open-heart-ministry-to-young-mothers\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">in response to my<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/11\/1047.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"> \u201cFear, Prayer\u201d<\/a> post and stewing over the responses I got in the combox and in real life, and I think I\u2019ll have enough coherent thoughts to write a post about it next week. Maybe. I dunno, Charlotte\u2019s \u201cPink Tea Party\u201d for her 4th birthday is on Thursday, so that might take precedence.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, round up. I need some ideas for pink food. Sounds gross, right? But it\u2019s for four three-and-four-year-olds, so I\u2019m not going gourmet here.** I\u2019ve already decided on the main attraction, <a href=\"http:\/\/smittenkitchen.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/pink-lady-cake\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Smitten Kitchen\u2019s Pink Lady c<\/a>ake, which I am going to smother with cream cheese frosting and sprinkle with those big sugar granules that look like glitter (ahem, if one of you darling readers can tell me where to find said granules). And I\u2019m going to get some Pink Lemonade Soda from Trader Joe\u2019s, some pastel dessert mints from the local candy store, and some decaf tea to serve in Charlotte\u2019s brand-new pink tea set (don\u2019t tell her, it\u2019s a surprise!). But I figured I should probably have, like, some real food or something? Finger sandwiches? Crackers? What? I don\u2019t know. She also wants cupcakes, which I\u2019m going to ixnay because this shiz has to come out of our grocery money, and I\u2019m assuming the rest of the family will want to eat something other than pink cake and pink cupcakes and mints for the rest of the week. Oh, and should I decorate? Like pink streamers or something? A pink paper tablecloth? Is that unnecessary and excessive, or will the party look sterile and boring without decorations?<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, I should open my own party planning business, since I rock at it.<\/p>\n<p>Leave your ideas below. Winner gets a chicken dinner!***<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>*<em>name of neighborhood child changed to protect privacy I\u2019m assuming they\u2019d rather keep. I\u2019m thoughtful like that. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>**<em>My usual snotty food rules apply. No chemically-enhanced anything (like Cool Whip), no shortening, no pre-packaged cake mixes, etc. Because I\u2019m elitist, that\u2019s why. The combox is below if you need to call me names, but be advised that I deleted a comment for the first time ever last week, and it felt so good that I want to do it again. Game on. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><\/em>***<em>Winner must fly to Ave Maria to collect said chicken dinner, which leaves out <a href=\"http:\/\/simchafisher.wordpress.com\/2012\/12\/07\/which-ones-gilligan\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Simcha and the Jerk<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So as a direct result of some seriously weird dreams I had last night, I woke up this morning and went searching to see if my Favorite TV Show Of All Time was on Netflix Watch Instantly. I figured it wasn\u2019t, since, objectively speaking, it\u2019s the most ludicrous television show ever to grace the small [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[19,20,18],"class_list":["post-1112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-random-kidisms","tag-sunday-smorgasbord","tag-tv"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sunday Smorgasbord<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So as a direct result of some seriously weird dreams I had last night, I woke up this morning and went searching to see if my Favorite TV Show Of All Time\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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