{"id":1242,"date":"2012-12-22T15:15:42","date_gmt":"2012-12-22T20:15:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=1242"},"modified":"2017-03-09T17:07:56","modified_gmt":"2017-03-09T22:07:56","slug":"quick-7-friday-takes-saturday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/12\/quick-7-friday-takes-saturday.html","title":{"rendered":"Quick 7 Friday<\/del> Takes Saturday"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

#4<\/p>\n

What? I\u2019m so confused. I was up till 1 making cupcakes for Sienna\u2019s party today (and if I don\u2019t also tell you that the Ogre was up till 2:30 decorating said cupcakes, I\u2019ll be in trouble) and then up at 6 to bathe the kids (because no kidding, I literally couldn\u2019t remember the last time they\u2019d been bathed. When I realized that I made the same appalled, disgusted face you\u2019re making right now) and get them ready for Sienna\u2019s birthday party this morning.<\/p>\n

And then I spent 2 hours at the park in the cold (literally, COLD!!!!!!! Gloria, Alleluia!) wind with Linc strapped to me and seventeen 6 and 7 year olds running around, hitting pinatas, eating cupcakes, and accidentally drinking each other\u2019s sodas. (Dear other parents, I apologize if all these kids all come down with the same illness just in time for Christmas. I forgot the Sharpie, and the baby was crying. For the record, my own kids are healthy but children are basically walking petri dishes so you never know.)<\/p>\n

Then I came home and collapsed in front of the computer, because I\u2019m a blogger, not a normal person who collapses in front of the TV.<\/p>\n

#6<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
We skipped the blindfolding part, because I assumed they wanted the candy inside this year, not next<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The kids hit the pinata. They each got three turns. We didn\u2019t do it the smart way, like, \u201chey kid who\u2019s name I\u2019m redacting to protect your privacy, take three whacks\u201d. No, we did it the stupid way, like, \u201chey everyone line up, girls before boys, and then take one turn each, but first spend an excruciatingly long time planning your angle of attack and then make sure you examine the pinata for at least 90 seconds afterward to see if you made even a hairline fracture in it.\u201d After 20 minutes I handed the stick to the Ogre, told all the kids to back up, and then laughed kind of maniacally when he hit it so hard that it flew off the rope and landed on the ground, still mostly intact, with the candy trapped safely inside.<\/p>\n

Then I stopped laughing because holy sh*t, if you ever want to see a bunch of kids LARPing The Walking Dead<\/em>, just throw a pinata full of candy on the ground. Our neighbor actually waded into the hoard and picked it up to try and open it, and honest to God, I thought he was going to go down hard like the poor horse dumb Rick rode into Atlanta.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
The first clue that this would end badly was when Rick told the horse he was going to take him to a nice place with lots of other horses. Really, Officer Rick? All those horses running around in metropolitan Atlanta?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

#2<\/p>\n

My teeth hurt. I\u2019ve been doing all this dental stuff to fix my pregnancy-induced gingivitis, but still, they hurt. I think it\u2019s just my new reality. I\u2019m Calah, I love martinis and wine, I watch too much TV, I have an angry baby and my teeth hurt.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Ibuprofen and I have become pals, though. I think I\u2019ll buy him a friendship necklace for Christmas. You know, the kind where I have half the heart and he gets the other half? Because I\u2019m not complete without you, oh prescription strength ibuprofen.<\/p>\n

#7<\/p>\n

There\u2019s this thing happening in our house that is totally destroying the \u201cwinter wonderland\u201d aesthetic that I haven\u2019t even a little bit tried to create. I\u2019ll show you:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
We don\u2019t have fireplaces in Florida because are you kidding, it\u2019s Florida. The only thing we need a fire for is to roast a bear, and we have spits in our front yards for that. So the stockings get hung from the built-in recessed bookshelves with care.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

WTF? Right? Who makes a stocking that points left? And please be advised that this particular stocking is single sided (honestly, who does that either?) and that I\u2019d just turn them all around to match the dyslexic one but the Ogre\u2019s stripey stocking is also single-sided. So I just did this. And it bothers me.<\/p>\n

It bothers me even when I\u2019m in the other room and I can\u2019t see them, because I know that stocking is hanging there, backward, ruining the freaking harmonious Christmas motif I have going on in the sitting room.<\/p>\n

#1<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t believe I have a harmonious Christmas motif going? Here, I\u2019ll show you:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Behold our Christmas tree. It has ornaments on it. And lights, but I didn\u2019t turn them on for this picture because the plug was ten steps away plus on the floor, and that sounded like a lot of work for a photo op of a tree. Note that the top is bare. That is because I wanted to put this on top:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Click on the picture to buy it for me! (Or you, I guess.) <\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

but the Ogre said something about Christmas spirit and how we\u2019ll have to change it on Christmas day or whatever. Personally I don\u2019t see what\u2019s more Christmasey than an angel eating people and the Doctor saving us (there\u2019s a Christ metaphor in there somewhere, I know it\u2026Dr. Curtsinger could have found it, God rest his soul). But even that wouldn\u2019t have deterred me, until the Ogre said, \u201chey, I found a tutorial! Tell you what, if you make it, we\u2019ll put it on the tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tutorial called for terrifying things like glue guns <\/em>and modeling clay\u00a0<\/em>and a bowl of water<\/em>, all of which are manifestly outside my crafting comfort zone. So I gave up on the idea and now we have no tree topper.<\/p>\n

But you can do the tutorial for me if you want to make a tree topper today, overnight it to Florida, and make me the happiest Whovian in Whoville!<\/p>\n

Or I guess you could keep it. Anyway, here\u2019s the link.<\/a><\/p>\n

#3<\/p>\n

In case you\u2019re wondering, and even if you aren\u2019t, my crafting comfort zone is composed entirely of things you can stick together with icing. <\/em>I\u2019m happy there.<\/p>\n

To highlight this point, I\u2019ll show you what the Ogre did to make our sitting room more Christmasey. We got the tree and he trimmed it and then said, \u201cwant these trimmings to decorate with?\u201d I looked at him blankly and said, \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

He rolled his eyes and said, \u201cnever mind, I\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
And he did.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

#6<\/p>\n

For the record, my contribution was finding and putting out the Nativity set. Yeah, maybe we lost Mary and baby Jesus in the move, and maybe the figures are so similar that I can\u2019t remember which is Joseph and which is the shepherd, and maybe Sienna\u2019s paper Advent wreath is one more Advent wreath than we\u2019ve ever had ever<\/em>, but hey. You can\u2019t win them all. Or I guess any of them. Or what is them? What am I even talking about?<\/p>\n

I know lots of people, my husband included, like decorating with greenery. I know it\u2019s a thing. I personally don\u2019t like it. I like flowers and holly berries and all kinds of other things, but when people put holly (real or fake, or in our case, Christmas tree clippings) all over the house, mostly I think it looks like someone brought the yard in and dumped it all over perfectly good furniture. Like someone (not my husband, obviously, but a mythical, hypothetical person) said, \u201chey, honey, I\u2019m not sure what to do with these weeds I just pulled, but I\u2019m going to put them on the bookshelf you just dusted and arranged because it\u2019s festive.\u201d Um, thanks?<\/p>\n

#1<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the rest of my contribution to the festive sitting room:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I know you can\u2019t tell, but that laundry basket has tape and ribbons in it. The tool box has stuff to make Christmasey stuff in it (actually I have no idea why it\u2019s on the table). And there\u2019s a tube of wrapping paper sticking out from behind the laundry basket. See, that\u2019s how you do festive. Christmas-themed chaos is the way to go.<\/p>\n

Liam apparently takes after me on the Christmas decorating front. Here\u2019s his contribution:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

An angel ornament whose skull and back he bashed in in a fit of toddler rage.<\/p>\n

Actually I think he was just playing with it and dropped it.<\/p>\n

But still. It looks like someone took a bite out of it:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I hereby dub thee Zombie Angel<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

#2<\/p>\n

Am I repeating numbers? What is happening? I feel like I\u2019ve been typing forever. I\u2019m gonna go take a nap.<\/p>\n

Go see Jen <\/a>for more quick takes!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

#4 What? I\u2019m so confused. I was up till 1 making cupcakes for Sienna\u2019s party today (and if I don\u2019t also tell you that the Ogre was up till 2:30 decorating said cupcakes, I\u2019ll be in trouble) and then up at 6 to bathe the kids (because no kidding, I literally couldn\u2019t remember the last […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nQuick 7 Friday Takes Saturday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"#4 What? I'm so confused. 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