{"id":165,"date":"2011-10-14T13:56:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-14T13:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2011\/10\/7-quick-takes-friday-16\/"},"modified":"2017-03-09T22:21:51","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T03:21:51","slug":"7-quick-takes-friday-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2011\/10\/7-quick-takes-friday-16.html","title":{"rendered":"7 Quick Takes Friday"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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#7<\/div>\n
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Simcha\u2019s post this morning at the Register<\/a> cracked me up. I firmly believe that when people do something idiotic intentionally, like name their child Apple or La-a (pronounced La DASH a) the rest of the world has a moral obligation to make fun of them.<\/div>\n
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How have I come to this conclusion? Let me explain. When I was a child, I had an obsession with the name Jocasta Starr. I know<\/i>. Words cannot express the hideousness of that name. But I was a wanna-be hippie child with no conception of what hippies actually were, and only knew that I vaguely wanted to emulate Jenny from Forest Gump (the death from AIDS thing was lost on me).\u00a0<\/div>\n
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When I finally told my family about \u201cthe name I have chosen for my first daughter\u201d they began laughing hysterically and have continued to do so until this very day. They never lose an opportunity to remind me of what a terrible idea that was, nor to bring up the equally atrocious names I chose for my mythical twin boys, Pacifique and Atlantique.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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And their utter candor made me re-think that name when I eventually did become pregnant with a girl. Instead of Jocasta Starr Alexander, we have Sienna Marie Nicole Alexander.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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And I guarantee you that until the day she dies, my daughter will be grateful for my family for making fun of me for an entire decade.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I only wish someone had been around who wasn\u2019t too afraid to make fun of Frank Zappa, Gwyneth Paltrow, Penn Jilette, and pretty much every other person in Hollywood.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Oh. ESPECIALLY Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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What kind of a name is Suri? Seriously? It\u2019s like two syllables that have nothing to do with each other and somehow sound worse when smashed together. Why? Why? Why? <\/div>\n
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#6<\/div>\n
So, Needless To Say<\/div>\n
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I was not one of the ones in the combox wagging my finger at naughty Simcha.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I was one of the ones cheering her on.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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What can I say? Celebrities are fair game in my book. Fame and fortune should come with a thicker skin. Also, I\u2019m\u00a0 bitter that I\u2019m not ludicrously rich and half venerated\/half hated the world over. <\/div>\n
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Keepin\u2019 it real, guys. And before you say it, of course I would rather be good than rich and famous.<\/div>\n
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But what I\u2019d really like is to be all three.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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#5<\/div>\n
And Yeah<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
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This is something poor people like me say to console ourselves<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
I do realize that having fame and fortune would make it incredibly difficult to pursue a life of virtue, but what can I say?\u00a0<\/div>\n
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That\u2019s a cross I\u2019d be willing to bear.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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#4<\/div>\n
Anyway<\/div>\n
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that whole interlude wasn\u2019t very virtuous of me.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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So now I\u2019ll talk about what I was originally going to talk about before I was blindsided by the absurdity of a world in which Penn Jilette is famous and wealthy and I am not. (Can we agree that every single person reading this post deserves fame and fortune WAY more than Penn Jilette, the man who brought us the Jill-Jet? Oh no, don\u2019t go google that. It\u2019s disgusting. Just trust me, this man deserves neither fame nor fortune.)<\/div>\n
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Originally I was going to talk about names I like for my future little roads to virtue, who will serve the dual purpose of making certain I learn some more virtue and making certain I never have to bear the cross of excessive money.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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This right here will teach you patience, good humor, and how to juggle a budget to cover unplanned expenses. <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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#3<\/div>\n
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So in no particular order, here are some of my favorite names for future Alexander minions.<\/div>\n
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Sebastian<\/div>\n
Adele (Sienna was within inches of being named Adele Gwendolyn, which my family also made fun of me for.)<\/div>\n
Raissa (After Raissa Maritain\u2026this will be our next girl\u2019s name, and if you steal it I will punch you via the interwebs. I only even put it up here because I trust you. And because it\u2019s not exactly a beautiful name, being all\u2026Russian.)<\/div>\n
Tristan<\/div>\n
Alice\u00a0<\/div>\n
Killian (Liam was almost called Killian, but then the Ogre said he would name this one Killian if we called the next one Cyrus, and the deal was off) <\/div>\n
Jacques (after Jacques Maritain. This one we probably can\u2019t get away with, seeing as how no one will know how to pronounce it and it\u2019s very French and we\u2019re\u2026not.)<\/div>\n
Rosemarie<\/div>\n
Jonas <\/div>\n
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What are yours? I won\u2019t steal them, I promise. (Plus if I do you\u2019ll probably never know. Just like I won\u2019t know if you name your child Raissa. So go ahead. But don\u2019t tell me.)<\/div>\n
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#2<\/div>\n
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I put Liam down an hour and a half ago. He spent an hour talking in an extremely high-pitched voice and then started crying.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Have you ever read the book The Giver? Sometimes I really wish I had Jonas\u2019 memory-transmitting power, so I could just think of how sleepy I am, press my hands to Liam\u2019s back, and make him fall asleep instantly.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Actually, I think of that every single night. That would be such an awesome power. <\/div>\n
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#1<\/div>\n
I\u2019m going to go get Liam now.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Happy Friday! Go see Jen<\/a> for more quick takes. Ciao!<\/div>\n
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#7 Simcha\u2019s post this morning at the Register cracked me up. I firmly believe that when people do something idiotic intentionally, like name their child Apple or La-a (pronounced La DASH a) the rest of the world has a moral obligation to make fun of them. How have I come to this conclusion? Let me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n7 Quick Takes Friday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"#7Simcha's post this morning at the Register cracked me up. 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