{"id":210,"date":"2011-07-08T21:22:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-08T21:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2011\/07\/7-quick-takes-friday-23\/"},"modified":"2016-10-10T11:53:55","modified_gmt":"2016-10-10T15:53:55","slug":"7-quick-takes-friday-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2011\/07\/7-quick-takes-friday-23.html","title":{"rendered":"7 Quick Takes Friday!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
<\/a><\/div>\n

Ah, Friday. I\u2019m not gonna lie, I thought Friday would never come. Not because I was particularly looking forward to it, but because the days since the Ogre left have seemed to drag. I can\u2019t believe he\u2019s only been gone for four days. Last weekend feels like a century ago.<\/p>\n

I have no idea how I\u2019m going to last six weeks until he comes back for Liam\u2019s birthday, let alone six months.<\/p>\n

#7<\/div>\n
I Realize That<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
the sentence I just typed sounds properly sappy and pathetic enough to come from the above horrible (and yet indescribably addictive) book\/movie, but that\u2019s where Stephanie Meyers got it right.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019m not vocally as obnoxiously infatuated with my carnivorous Ogre as Bella is with her vegetarian vampire, but when you get right down to it, I know how the girl feels. When you love someone that much, when you take that vow and they become quite literally your other half, being without them feels wrong. I go about my days and nights with the ever-present knowledge that the Ogre isn\u2019t here, and it just feels so\u2026unnatural.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#6<\/div>\n
However<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
I am not pathetic enough to curl up in the woods alone and feel sorry for myself for days until someone thoughtfully sends out the local werewolves to find me. Even if that\u2019s what I feel like doing.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I don\u2019t even think there are any werewolves in Colleyville, either. Although the existence of the spider-wasp <\/a>casts doubt on that certainty.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#5<\/div>\n
Plus, Can You Imagine<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
how that scene would have worked out if Bella were surrounded by vampy, bronze-haired offspring? (Like, normal children, ok? Let\u2019s just not go into Renesmee.)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cMom, what are you doing? Can you get up?\u00a0<\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cNo, honey. Just give me a few days, ok? Mommy\u2019s moping pathetically.\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cMom, why are you sad? Can I kiss your owie and make you feel better?\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cNo, sweetheart. Mommy\u2019s had her center sucked out of her and the only way to hold herself together is to curl up into a pathetic ball like this or, alternately, suck the soul out of some super-nice younger kid. Failing those two options, I\u2019ll try to crash a motorcycle. Cliff diving will work in a pinch.\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n
(crickets)<\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cMom? I have to pee.\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cCAN YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME WALLOW IN PEACE ALREADY! Look, there\u2019s a nice doggy coming soon, so just go to sleep and he\u2019ll be here soon to take us home, ok?\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Not quite the same, is it?\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#4<\/div>\n
No, Unfortunately<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
mothers don\u2019t get to sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. I promise you. I have tried every possible imaginable way to do this, and am always foiled by dirty diapers, piled-up laundry, bloody knees or someone shoving legos up their nose.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As it turns out, this is a particular grace for me, since one of my favorite activities is feeling sorry for myself. I am a champion moper. I can list off the ways the universe has done me wrong with the best of them, only I don\u2019t have time anymore.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
These kids. They just force virtue upon us, ya know?\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
It\u2019s kind of annoying.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#3<\/div>\n
Although<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
it is pretty hard to feel sorry for myself when that is what I get to swim in every day.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#2<\/div>\n
It\u2019s a Dang Good Thing, Too<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
since the weather here is, as usual, unbearable. 106 today! Yuck.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Thank God for treadmills, pools, and sno cones. And air conditioning! Most of all thank you, God, for air conditioning.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
#1<\/div>\n
Have You Ever Wondered<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
how many Native Americans died of heat stroke?\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Oh, and don\u2019t give me that, \u201ctheir bodies adjusted\u201d crap. Bodies do not adjust to 110 degree temperature. They just don\u2019t.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I think they had some kind of primitive cooling system, like the way the early architecture here is all Spanish-style. Have you ever walked into a Spanish-style home with no a\/c in the height of summer? It\u2019s a miracle. 70 degrees, tops. The Spaniards, they are brilliant.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I think the Indians were too. They just decided not to share with us because we were killing them. For which I do not blame them at all.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Now that I have probably once again managed to offend someone, my spidey sense is telling me that it\u2019s time for bed. So goodnight, guys! Happy weekend! Make sure you stop in and see Jen<\/a>. Oh yes, and please come back soon! Don\u2019t let these off-kilter and slightly delirious quick takes stop you.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019m not usually like this. Or, not always.\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ah, Friday. I\u2019m not gonna lie, I thought Friday would never come. Not because I was particularly looking forward to it, but because the days since the Ogre left have seemed to drag. I can\u2019t believe he\u2019s only been gone for four days. Last weekend feels like a century ago. I have no idea how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n7 Quick Takes Friday!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ah, Friday. I'm not gonna lie, I thought Friday would never come. 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