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<\/a>I\u2019ve been reading and re-reading Kathleen Norris\u2019s Amazing Grace<\/em> for almost a year now. I pick it up often when I find myself distressed. It\u2019s prose that reads like poetry, which soothes my mind, and it\u2019s full of beautiful reflections on a life of faith, which soothes my soul.<\/p>\n Her musings on conversion radically altered the way I understand conversion.<\/p>\n The word \u2018conversion\u2019 comes from the Latin for \u2018to turn around\u2019. Thus it denotes a change of perspective but not of essence: a change of view but not location.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Conversion should never be simple switch, though, a one-time change, not for any of us, not ever. That\u2019s because our essence does not change with a conversion, but our understanding of everything, even ourselves, shifts. Constantly. It\u2019s a life-long metamorphosis, the process by which we allow Christ to mold us into that image of himself which each one of us was uniquely created to reflect. Becoming more like Christ doesn\u2019t mean that we will be gradually assimilated into Christ Borg, though. We\u2019ll never all think and move and act and speak identically, because our essence remains. There\u2019s St. Francis and then there\u2019s St. Catherine of Siena. There\u2019s Blessed Imelda and then there\u2019s St. Augustine. There\u2019s St. Thomas Aquinas and then there\u2019s St. Joseph of Copertino\u2026and we none of us<\/em> have all the right answers, all the right attitudes, all the Christ. Our challenge is to allow ourselves to seek, find, and be transformed into what Christ wants, not what we want. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so hard.<\/p>\n But as hard as it is to allow ourselves to be transformed into something we might not want to become, I think it\u2019s much harder to watch someone else gradually transform into something that doesn\u2019t fit our perception of what God wants\u2026especially if that transformation includes turning against what we hold dear, what we cherish, and what we believe to be the right way. As Kathleen Norris put it, \u201cConversion is frightening to oneself, and to others, precisely because it can seem like a regression.\u201d<\/p>\n Lately, there have been many people expressing the deep fear that the Church is regressing under Pope Francis. The happy-clappy sentimentalism and moral relativism associated with the post-Vatican II era have taken on a looming, oppressive aspect in the blogosphere lately, like the Ghost of Catholicism Past, Catholicism Still Sometimes Present, and Catholicism Future all in one. It seems like the tentative new springtime the Church experienced under Pope Benedict is being ground back into the choking dust of modernity, interview by blasted interview.<\/p>\n There is a chapter in Amazing Grace<\/em> entitled, \u201cInheritance: Blessing and Curse,\u201d and nothing could be truer. When I read it the first time, I realized how much I was shutting out by just disavowing my Evangelical upbringing. There were things about it that I no longer agree with, or I wouldn\u2019t be Catholic. But I also wouldn\u2019t be Catholic if I hadn\u2019t been raised Evangelical.<\/p>\n I say that with certainty, because I know myself. I know my self-righteous tendency to dismiss everyone who even hints of self-righteousness. It was essential that I be raised with images of Christians who weren\u2019t all<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I saw alot of that growing up. But I also saw alot of genuinely Christ-like people\u2026too many for me to dismiss all of Christianity. This kind of Christian isn\u2019t just confined to Evangelicalism, either. There are plenty of them in the Catholic camp as well, just as there are plenty of cafeteria Catholics. I could give you a list dividing nearly everyone in the blogosphere into little sub-categories under those headings, actually. Which is why it was so important for me to own my inheritance\u2026in many ways, I\u2019m still there. My view has changed, but not my location.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s far less pleasant-it can feel like a curse-to include in my welcome the difficult ancestors: the insane, the suicides, the alcoholics, the religiously self-righteous who literally scared the bejesus out of me when I was little, or who murdered my spirit with words of condemnations. Abel is welcome in my family tree, but I\u2019d just as soon leave Cain out. Yet God has given me both, reminding me that the line in Psalm 16, \u201cwelcome indeed the heritage that falls to me,\u201d can be a tough one to live with. If, as Paul says, \u201call things work together for the good of those who love God\u201d (Rom.8:28), then in giving me a mixed inheritance, both blessing and curse, God expects me to make something of it. Redeem the bad, and turn it into something good.<\/p>\n (Kathleen Norris, Amazing Grace<\/em>)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I was reminded of this passage when I was reading Pat Archbold\u2019s post yesterday at the National Catholic Register, Pope Traumatic Stress Disorder<\/a>. He brought up a lot of really good points. The Church\u2019s recent history is unpleasant at best\u2026the contraceptive mentality, abortion, the sexual abuse scandal\u2026the Church\u2019s closet is fairly bursting with skeletons that wrought widespread damage, led countless souls astray, and brought a whole culture to its feet in outrage. I don\u2019t want to go back there either, even though I wasn\u2019t Catholic then. No one wants to go back there. And he\u2019s right to entertain the possibility that \u201cthe spirit of the times can overwhelm the truth contained in the Pope\u2019s rhetoric.\u201d<\/p>\n But those post-Vatican II days that wrought so much damage are part of our spiritual inheritance. And with all the bad they brought, they brought a little good, too. At the very least, Vatican II brought the vernacular to the Mass. I would never have converted if it weren\u2019t for the truth and beauty of the liturgy, and if it were still in Latin I would never have heard it. I know many converts whose journey began by hearing the words \u201cLord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the words and my soul shall be healed.\u201d And though the damage done by the widespread misapplication of Vatican II is not negligible, the way has been paved for good to be found anew. The rediscovery of life without contraception, for instance, by couples entrenched in a contraceptive mentality is a beautiful witness to the reality of a life of faith\u2026a faith willing to face death<\/a>, even.<\/p>\n I worry because those most encouraged by the Pope\u2019s word and style are those most vehemently opposed to the Church and her mission. I worry that Pope Francis, like Pope Paul VI, may look back on his pontificate and wonder what went wrong.<\/p>\n I understand what he\u2019s saying, and I understand that fear. But I find myself encouraged<\/em> by that first sentence. He\u2019s right, many of those most encouraged by the Pope are also those most vehemently opposed to Church teaching, at least (I don\u2019t think they\u2019re all bitter anti-Catholics.) That doesn\u2019t necessarily mean Pope Francis is here to lead us into a brand new wasteland of electric guitars and laser shows at every Mass. I think a lot of what happens during his pontificate depends on us. There wasn\u2019t an internet sixty years ago. People weren\u2019t able to find like-minded, strong Catholics and figure out the best way to stem the shift of the cultural tide. We can. We can watch all this unfold and be there to ensure<\/em> that the spirit of the times does not overwhelm the truth. The Pope is giving us an opening. He\u2019s grabbed the secular culture by the ear and made them go, \u201chuh. Maybe those Catholics aren\u2019t such nutters after all.\u201d Now it\u2019s time for us to show them that, in fact, we are<\/em> such nutters, and why. But we can only do that through constant conversion.<\/p>\n My conversion to Catholicism wasn\u2019t a rejection of what came first, it was a continuation of it. I can\u2019t tear down my past. I can only build on it. Vatican II happened, everything that came after it happened, and we really haven\u2019t moved beyond all that much. In many ways, we\u2019re still paralyzed by the sins that swept through the Church back then\u2026they\u2019re just taking different forms. But all of it is part of our spiritual inheritance. Pope Francis, like it or not, is part of our spiritual inheritance. We can stand around wringing our hands about how much he\u2019s messing up by saying things that are being misinterpreted, or we can build on the openings he gives us and correct the misinterpretation. We know Pope Francis is a son of the Church, and we know he has said nothing contradictory to Church teaching, so in the end whether he turns out to be a blessing or a curse for the Church depends largely on us.<\/p>\n The Church is and always will be steadfast, but she is made up of sinners who should be constantly converting. It was the constant conversion that has been missing, as Pat says, \u201ctop to bottom.\u201d If the church had been constantly converting, truth would not have been ignored. Children would not have been abused, aborted, and contracepted away. But they were, and that legacy is part of our inheritance. It\u2019s ours to bear. It seems unfair, but we own that debt now. We are the only ones who can pay it. The church, all of us, must persevere in the tentative, hesitant conversion that has begun, at peace in the knowledge that<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026we do not suddenly change in essence, magically becoming new people, with all our old faults left behind. What happens is more subtle, and to my mind, more revealing of God\u2019s great mercy. In the process of conversion, the detestable parts of our selves do not vanish so much as become transformed. We can\u2019t run from who we are, with our short tempers, our vanity, our sharp tongues, our talents for self-aggrandizement, self-delusion, or despair. But we can convert, in its root meaning of turn around, so that we are forced to face ourselves as we really are. We can pray that God will take our faults and use them for the good.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n