{"id":2804,"date":"2013-12-24T15:00:03","date_gmt":"2013-12-24T20:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=2804"},"modified":"2015-06-09T11:00:42","modified_gmt":"2015-06-09T15:00:42","slug":"the-gift-of-belly-button-lint","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2013\/12\/the-gift-of-belly-button-lint.html","title":{"rendered":"The Gift of Belly-Button Lint"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

My parents came for a long-awaited visit two weeks ago. It seemed so luxuriously long\u2026five whole days\u2026and the timing was perfect, coinciding with swim meets and birthdays and pre-Christmas shopping. They would have plenty of time with the kids and I\u2019d get days of much-needed morning coffee time with my mom.<\/p>\n

But our car blew a gasket and died the death that, at 240,000 miles, was long overdue. We\u2019d been trying to save for a new used car, but the little we managed to put aside was eaten up in doctor\u2019s bills and prescriptions and unexpected everything. Even if it hadn\u2019t been, it wouldn\u2019t have been nearly enough. My master plan was to just not have a car. Sure, doctors and grocery stores and pharmacies are a good 45 minute drive, and sure, there\u2019s no public transportation nearby, but I didn\u2019t see any alternative.<\/p>\n

My parents knew all these things. After the Navigator was pronounced dead, my dad immediately started looking at used cars. After two days of looking, he found one and bought it for us.<\/p>\n

When he told us, I burst into tears at the kitchen table. I\u2019m not the type of person who feels guilty or uncomfortable when people give me gifts. I guess it\u2019s a combination of pride and greed, but I usually don\u2019t think, \u201cgee, I don\u2019t deserve this.\u201d I usually think, \u201cfree stuff! Awesome!\u201d<\/p>\n

Not this time. It was too much. Even if we saved the maximum we could from each paycheck to pay them back monthly, it would take six years. We couldn\u2019t even hope to pay them back, any more than we\u2019ve been able to pay them back for all the cars they\u2019ve given us throughout the years, all the grocery trips, the \u201cloans\u201d, the tuition, the lifelines we keep having to grasp at. The scope of the thing hit me for the first time, and I felt so helpless. So needy. So tired of needing, tired of knowing that even though we\u2019re working as hard as we can to get to place where we don\u2019t need so much anymore, if we ever get there we still won\u2019t be able to give back. We\u2019ll only be able to stop needing so much, maybe<\/em>.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, my mom spent two days doing all the laundry I had fallen behind on in the midst of life.<\/p>\n