{"id":3296,"date":"2014-05-23T13:39:46","date_gmt":"2014-05-23T17:39:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=3296"},"modified":"2014-12-30T11:24:33","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T16:24:33","slug":"dear-god-thank-you-for-the-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/05\/dear-god-thank-you-for-the-internet.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear God, Thank You for the Internet"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

There are days when I am so grateful that the internet exists. Things like this make it worth sifting through the stupid.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here are my favorites from the Estately post<\/a>:<\/p>\n

FLORIDA<\/strong>: Alligator Wrestling \/ Botox \/ Eyebrow Piercing \/ Hulk Hogan \/ Juviderm \/ Lice \/ Mazda Miata \/ MDMA \/ Obamacare \/ Stand Your Ground \/ Swingers \/ Viagra \/ What is sarcasm?<\/p>\n

Analysis: The only thing surprising about Florida\u2019s search history is that it wasn\u2019t even weirder.<\/em><\/p>\n

MISSISSIPPI<\/strong>: Candy Crush \/ Codeine \/ Dog Fighting \/ Lose Weight \/ Making Crack \/ Tupac Is Alive \/ Twerking \/ What is Instagram?<\/p>\n

Analysis: What happens in Mississippi stays in Mississippi, and it\u2019s definitely for the best that Mississippi doesn\u2019t know how to post photos of it on Instagram.<\/em><\/p>\n

MISSOURI<\/strong>: Family Circus (comic) \/ Nelly (rapper)<\/p>\n

Analysis: Missouri\u2019s wifi must have gone out sometime in 2002<\/em><\/p>\n

TEXAS<\/strong>: Are dinosaurs real? \/ Are zombies real? \/ The Bill of Rights \/ Boogers \/ Calf Implants \/ Can dogs talk? \/ Chupacrabra \/ Curves International (company) \/ Do I have herpes? \/ Does beer make you fat? \/ Government Mind Control \/ How to cook meth? \/ How to sell your soul to the Devil? \/ Justin Bieber (singer) \/ Krunk \/ Meth Recipes \/ Porn \/ Purple Drank \/ Rodeo \/ Snake Bites \/ Tacos<\/p>\n

Analysis: Texas asks a lot of questions, has a worrisome level of interest in crystal meth, and probably a sore that should be looked at by doctor, but the Lone Star State also has a boatload of tacos. So many delicious tacos<\/em><\/p>\n

OREGON<\/strong>: Allah \/ Sex \/ Spork<\/p>\n

Analysis: Somebody needs to go and check on Oregon.<\/em><\/p>\n

DELAWARE<\/strong>: Delaware, Joe Biden, What Is Delaware?<\/p>\n

Analysis: Delaware is the only state that\u2019s aware of Delaware.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Speaking as a former Texan and a present Floridian, I have to say yes and yes to both of those analyses. But to be honest, my absolute favorite is Delaware. It\u2019s so meta. Who are we? What is this place?<\/em> Are we even here? <\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of sad that Delaware\u2019s existential crisis is being carried out via Google, though, but you know. So is mine.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are days when I am so grateful that the internet exists. Things like this make it worth sifting through the stupid. Here are my favorites from the Estately post: FLORIDA: Alligator Wrestling \/ Botox \/ Eyebrow Piercing \/ Hulk Hogan \/ Juviderm \/ Lice \/ Mazda Miata \/ MDMA \/ Obamacare \/ Stand Your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[78,81],"class_list":["post-3296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-delightful-absurdity","tag-funny-stuff"],"yoast_head":"\nDear God, Thank You for the Internet<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are days when I am so grateful that the internet exists. Things like this make it worth sifting through the stupid. 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