{"id":3362,"date":"2014-06-12T16:03:17","date_gmt":"2014-06-12T20:03:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=3362"},"modified":"2014-12-30T11:08:20","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T16:08:20","slug":"talkin-aint-doin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/06\/talkin-aint-doin.html","title":{"rendered":"Talkin’ Ain’t Doin’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

You know how there are the ten commandments that we\u2019re supposed to abide by? I\u2019ve always taken some of those more seriously than others. One of the ones I\u2019ve never taken too seriously is that pesky fourth one, the whole \u201chonor your mother and father\u201d thing. When I was a kid, I would obey because they made me, and because I knew they were usually right. I can\u2019t remember ever internalizing it, and actually honoring<\/em> my parents.<\/p>\n

When I became a parent, I felt like that biological achievement put my parents and I on a level playing field. I didn\u2019t really think that whole \u201chonor your father and mother\u201d thing was aimed at me anymore.\u00a0Once I became a mom, I kind of just transferred that commandment into my possession, you know? I was now the one who had to be honored. I got to be the one reaping the benefits from this, not the one slamming doors and then grumbling apologies. I got to be the door-slamee, not the door-slammer, and I was happy about it. When it came to the fourth commandment, I had leveled up.<\/p>\n

My parents do not like cussing. They get pretty upset when my siblings and I use colorful language. But I disagree with their arguments, and I find not cussing kinda lame. Last year, I even wrote a post about why I don\u2019t believe cussing is a sin<\/a>, and why I love certain cuss words because they actually are colorful words. It\u2019s still one of my favorite posts, and I stand by every word I said.<\/p>\n

But a few weeks ago, my mom asked me on facebook to stop cussing in social media. This isn\u2019t the first time she\u2019s asked that, okay, and I was getting ready to tell her again why there\u2019s nothing inherently wrong with cussing and why it\u2019s even important and then she threw the fourth commandment at me and it hit me like a brick wall. Or, you know, a stone tablet.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t even know what happened. I just typed \u201cokay Mom. I\u2019ll stop cussing.\u201d It was like I was not in control of my typing fingers, and I sat there and looked at the words that had already been sent feeling a bit stunned. And kind of annoyed.<\/p>\n

But I also felt like a jerk. My parents are always, always there for me. They always have been, and they always will be. They don\u2019t agree with some of the major life choices I\u2019ve made, but they stand by me anyway, they try to understand, and they try to support me even when they don\u2019t agree with me. But this one thing really bothers my mom, and it\u2019s a really small thing. It\u2019s not like she\u2019s asking me to take my nose ring out or never dye my hair pink again, or even to never cuss again. Just not to do it in social media, because it\u2019s a public place and my friends aren\u2019t the only ones who see my posts. It\u2019s a very small thing I could do to show her that I respect her and love her and honor<\/em> her.<\/p>\n

Instead, I\u2019ve spent the better part of a year dismissing her repeated requests to stop cussing in public because I didn\u2019t agree with her arguments, because I thought it was a silly and out-of-touch request, and because frankly, I\u2019m a little too awesome and edgy to do something lame like obey my mom.<\/p>\n

When I converted to Catholicism, I wasn\u2019t so sure about some of the teachings. The Mary thing was weird, but as far as I was concerned, the birth control thing was literally insane. But I believed, so I converted, and I submitted to the Church teachings even before I agreed with them. I still submit to the teachings that I don\u2019t agree with, even when I slam doors and have to grumble apologies to God. The understanding didn\u2019t come from learning, it came from doing. For me, understanding followed obedience, not vice versa.<\/p>\n

I talk a good game on my blog about understanding virtue. Usually when I write about virtue I\u2019m working it out on paper, and I come to the end of the post having learned something new. But that doesn\u2019t mean I actually put what I learn into practice. Just like I\u2019ve never really put some things I\u2019ve always known, like that commandment, into practice. Often the mere fact that I understand it makes me feel like I have mastered it, but really,<\/p>\n

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You know how there are the ten commandments that we\u2019re supposed to abide by? I\u2019ve always taken some of those more seriously than others. One of the ones I\u2019ve never taken too seriously is that pesky fourth one, the whole \u201chonor your mother and father\u201d thing. When I was a kid, I would obey because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[45,136,89,125],"class_list":["post-3362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-blogging-about-blogging","tag-cussing","tag-lessons-in-virtue","tag-my-parents"],"yoast_head":"\nTalkin' Ain't Doin'<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You know how there are the ten commandments that we're supposed to abide by? I've always taken some of those more seriously than others. 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