{"id":362,"date":"2010-11-14T10:09:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-14T10:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2010\/11\/a-cry-for-help\/"},"modified":"2015-01-11T17:39:09","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T22:39:09","slug":"a-cry-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2010\/11\/a-cry-for-help.html","title":{"rendered":"A Cry for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I know, my readers, that some of you are secret culinary geniuses. I know because I lurk on your blogs too, and I see things like Melanie\u2019s artisan bread and chakchouka<\/a> (if you\u2019re thinking \u201cwhat the hell is chakchouka?\u201d you\u2019re not alone) or Andrea\u2019s lasagna, chicken noodle soup, Amish bread and apple pie<\/a> (just typing all that makes me tired) or Janet\u2019s apple cake with caramel glaze, bbq pulled pork, homemade buns and monster snack for the kiddo<\/a> (seriously, the ants on a log killed me). I see these things, and I wish that I lived in your house so I could eat your food. But since pretty much all of you live miles and miles away, in lush places that aren\u2019t run by the mafia or decorated with rocks and awful palm trees, I can\u2019t eat your food, and I can\u2019t hang out in your kitchen learning tricks and secrets. So I\u2019m asking for your help.<\/p>\n

I love cooking, and I love Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the only holiday where I do it all my way. I told the Ogre three years ago when we moved out here that I will continue to make his Mama\u2019s Christmas bread on Christmas, and his Mama\u2019s lamb spaghetti and spanikopita on Easter, and my Mama\u2019s sinful brownies and amazing salsa on the 4th of July, but I claim Thanksgiving for myself. Last year our awesome friends from California drove out with their precious little girls and I made a turkey, stuffing and gravy from Bon Appetit. It was my first time ever cooking a turkey (or stuffing, or gravy for that matter) and although the turkey was woefully undercooked (no one died) the stuffing and gravy were perfect\u2026more than perfect. So I\u2019m sticking with that recipe this year, and my creme fraiche mashed potatoes and butternut squash with honey-butter. But I want to jazz up the other sides and dessert a bit. Boring green beans, store-bought bread and the weird cinnamon-y cranberry sauce we had last year just aren\u2019t going to cut it. So I\u2019m asking for your help! Here\u2019s what I need:<\/p>\n

1) A fabulous green bean recipe. Usually I blanch the green beans and saute them in butter and lemon juice, but I\u2019m sick of that. I want something a little snazzier, and preferably something that involves bacon, because bacon makes the world go \u2019round (well, at least it makes my waist go round). Make-ahead would be great, but I\u2019m not holding my breath because green beans are perishable. Also, if you happen to have a recipe for some other green vegetable that you think is fabulous, I\u2019d love that too. I\u2019m not dead set on green beans, but sadly the Ogre has vetoed Brussels sprouts so those are out.<\/p>\n

2) A cranberry sauce recipe that doesn\u2019t have cinnamon in it. I really want something fairly traditional here; I\u2019ve already vetoed a few promising-looking recipes because they contain pomegranate juice, and since nothing else on the table will be remotely Mediterranean I didn\u2019t think the flavors would mesh particularly well.<\/p>\n

3) A bread recipe. Ideally I\u2019d like to have individual rolls instead of a loaf of bread, but I\u2019m flexible. I would kind of like it to be a little jazzy, like rosemary rolls or something similar, but again, not dead set on anything. The only thing it absolutely must be is make-ahead, and I mean completely make ahead. I need to have these little beauties fully cooked and frozen so all I have to do on the day is warm them in the oven.<\/p>\n

4) A pie crust recipe. Every single pie crust I have ever attempted has been a massive failure, so if you have an idiot-proof one that would be great. This, too, I need to be make-ahead by at least one day. I\u2019m assuming it\u2019s not really a problem to store pie crust in the fridge overnight, but again, I\u2019m a pie crust amateur.<\/p>\n

5) A pumpkin pie filling recipe. I\u2019ve never made an actual pumpkin pie, but I\u2019ve made lots of other pies so I\u2019m pretty sure I can handle whatever you throw at me with this one. I do want it to be sinfully rich; dreamy, creamy, full of pumpkin flavor and lots of fat.<\/p>\n

And lastly, I do have just one rule: no trans fats. So please, please, don\u2019t send me an amazing recipe that calls for Crisco or vegetable oil. It will just make me sad. The only oils we use around here are coconut, olive, and butter, of course, although I am more than willing to cook with lard and bacon grease (how gross is that?).<\/p>\n

I toyed with the idea of doing a blog carnival for this one but I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll have enough participation to make it work, so you can do one of two things. If you just want to leave the recipe in the comment box, that\u2019d be great. But you can also post a recipe (and any other Thanksgiving triumphs you may have had) on your own blog and leave a link to that page (just that page, not your homepage!) in my comment box. Then we can all click on it and visit you!<\/p>\n

Thank you all in advance. I\u2019m really excited to see what kind of Thanksgiving magic goes on in your houses!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know, my readers, that some of you are secret culinary geniuses. I know because I lurk on your blogs too, and I see things like Melanie\u2019s artisan bread and chakchouka (if you\u2019re thinking \u201cwhat the hell is chakchouka?\u201d you\u2019re not alone) or Andrea\u2019s lasagna, chicken noodle soup, Amish bread and apple pie (just typing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[201,25],"class_list":["post-362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-cooking","tag-recipes"],"yoast_head":"\nA Cry for Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I know, my readers, that some of you are secret culinary geniuses. 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