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After it was up for 24 hours, I couldn't handle\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/09\/so-you-think-im-a-homemaker.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Barefoot and Pregnant\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-09-30T19:41:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-12-28T19:33:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/225\/2014\/09\/IMG_20140929_121655022_HDR-1024x576.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"576\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Calah Alexander\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Calah Alexander\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/09\/so-you-think-im-a-homemaker.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/09\/so-you-think-im-a-homemaker.html\",\"name\":\"So You Think I'm a Homemaker?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-09-30T19:41:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-12-28T19:33:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/#\/schema\/person\/cbd5af11d9f73881b801bf2e07eb8757\"},\"description\":\"Six months ago, I bought a big whiteboard to function as a chore chart. 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{"id":3717,"date":"2014-09-30T15:41:50","date_gmt":"2014-09-30T19:41:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=3717"},"modified":"2014-12-28T14:33:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T19:33:54","slug":"so-you-think-im-a-homemaker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2014\/09\/so-you-think-im-a-homemaker.html","title":{"rendered":"So You Think I’m a Homemaker?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Six months ago, I bought a big whiteboard to function as a chore chart.<\/p>\n

On Saturday, I finally put it up.<\/p>\n

After it was up for 24 hours, I couldn\u2019t handle the big, rectangular blankness of it, so I began designing a chore chart for my wee ~~hellions <\/del>minions.<\/p>\n~~

The first four drafts were based on Pinterest pictures. After repeatedly measuring, graphing, adding cutesy flourishes and rhymes, and doling out hilariously optimistic chores, I remembered that this was not supposed to be a piece of concept art.<\/p>\n

So I erased everything, and came up with something practical.<\/p>\n

$\"chore$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Yesterday afternoon, I was convinced that the chore chart was magic. Sienna and Charlotte happily made their beds and checked it off. After school, Sienna happily did her afternoon and daily chores, and Charlotte happily did her daily chore.<\/p>\n

Then things took a turn for the less magical. Charlotte eventually did her afternoon chore, and with only a medium amount of wailing \u2014 which was still an improvement. Liam did not do any chores except picking up his room, and that was only done under excessively disproportionate threats \u2014 which is par for the course.<\/p>\n

Lincoln, however, exceeded my wildest expectations, accomplishing not just his morning and evening chore, but all his daily chores through Friday. I spent the entire afternoon cleaning up the aftermath of his absurd overachievement, neglecting my own chores (and my blog, and Facebook).<\/p>\n

This morning, no one did any chores, and I didn\u2019t remind them. Chore charts are great and all, but they seem to require a lot of input effort before you get any output. I don\u2019t really have the energy for that, since all of mine is focused on surviving until bedtime, then watching Doctor Who.<\/p>\n

I know some women swear by chore charts. Some women also make homes the way composers make symphonies, weaving the various musician-children together into a harmonious whole, keeping each one hitting the exact right note at the exact right time, while knitting Paleo dinners and pinteresting their lives for posterity. Those women absolutely are absolutely homemakers. They deserve that title. They make beautiful, functional homes and they are rightly (if irritatingly) proud of it.<\/p>\n

Then there are women who stumble into motherhood the way I accidentally stumbled into an Insane Clown Posse concert that one time. There\u2019s no making harmony out of this nonsense\u2026we just gotta find a safe corner to hole up in until everyone passes out and we can make our escape. I call us \u201chomesurvivors.\u201d<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t run away, so we get points for that. We are here, day and night, surviving the spills and the vomit, and sometimes even cleaning it up. Sure, we may not have chore charts that accomplish anything positive, or chore charts at all, or chores<\/em> at all. We might just throw things into the closet and\/or trash can when we get tired of stepping on them. We might not knit pint-sized scarves or feed our children a perfectly balanced hunter-gatherer diet, but we manage to feed them food and keep clothes on 80% of them 80% of the time. Plus, we do all that while making sure our psych meds don\u2019t run out. That\u2019s pretty damn impressive, actually. And who needs pinterest when you have facebook?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not knocking homemakers. Homemakers are like unicorns\u2026you think they\u2019re a myth until you meet one, and then you can\u2019t stop crying because it\u2019s so beautiful and clean! <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just saying, a homemaker probably wouldn\u2019t last 5 minutes at an ICP concert.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"