Well, it\u2019s done. The first post-partum run.<\/p>\n
In what is quickly becoming a biennial rite of torture, this morning I\u00a0 managed to pant and grimace my way through a mile run (interspersed with about a mile of walking, in case you were too impressed). In the last nine months, here are some things I\u2019ve forgotten about running.<\/p>\n
1) It hurts.<\/p>\n
2) When running while breastfeeding, one either needs to wear the cruellest of sports bras or have a few yards of strong duct tape handy.<\/p>\n
3) It feels good to get out and sweat.<\/p>\n
4) It feels even better to come home and collapse into a chair until you stop sweating.<\/p>\n
Of course, the post-partum run wouldn\u2019t be nearly as hard if I had actually continued aerobic exercise while pregnant, like I swore I would ten months ago. Here\u2019s what actually happened:<\/p>\n
Me: (ten months ago, in downward dog pose) Hmm\u2026I\u2019m awfully tired and weak feeling today. And I have heartburn on an empty stomach\u2026that\u2019s weird. Oh no. I\u2019m pregnant.<\/i> (gut-wrenching certainy followed by collapse out of downward dog pose and sprint to the bathroom for handy pregnancy test)<\/p>\n
Me: (one week later, to the Ogre) \u201cYou know, this pregnancy I really want to stay in shape. I can continue running for about five months, and after that I can walk in the evenings and do yoga.\u201d (one week after that, while putting on my running shoes) That couch looks really cozy. I\u2019m pretty tired today. Maybe I\u2019ll skip running and take a nap.<\/i><\/p>\n
Me: (three months later, still on couch) I might have enough energy to get off the couch today. Maybe I should do yoga. Or I could make cupcakes\u2026 <\/i><\/p>\n
Me: (four months later, eating a cupcake, to the Ogre) \u201cI did yoga today.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Ogre: \u201cOh yeah? How was it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u201cIt was great until the end when the video instructor made me sit cross-legged and channel love to my uterus.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Ogre: \u201cHahahahaha.\u201d<\/p>\n
I did yoga a couple more times after that, but it really wasn\u2019t my cup of tea. One of my Mexican brothers (foreign exchange students from Mexico who lived with us in high school, not a racial slur) used to say \u201cCalah\u2019s not fat, she just has skin with a lot of love underneath it!\u201d I kind of agree with him, so when the yoga instructor repeatedly encouraged me to \u201csurround my baby with love and channel loving thoughts through my chi\u201d or some such jargon, I didn\u2019t feel that compelled. After two previous children, this kid was definitely already surrounded with love\u2026a whole lot of it. So this morning, when I laced up my shoes and optimistically hit the million-degree pavement, it was not only after giving birth, but also after being basically sedentary and on a sugar high for nine months. And let me tell you, relaxin, the best friend of the pregnant woman, is definitely the greatest enemy of the post-partum woman. At every step, I felt like my legs were going to fall out of my hips.<\/p>\n
And after about a hundred steps, I kinda wished they would.<\/p>\n
But I made it, and now I can look forward to hopefully only three more weeks of pathetic panting before running again becomes pleasant and relaxing.<\/p>\n
Hahahaha. You thought I was serious, didn\u2019t you? No, friends, the pathetic panting never ends. I just manage to do it for a few miles instead of one.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Well, it\u2019s done. The first post-partum run. In what is quickly becoming a biennial rite of torture, this morning I\u00a0 managed to pant and grimace my way through a mile run (interspersed with about a mile of walking, in case you were too impressed). In the last nine months, here are some things I\u2019ve forgotten […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[183,81,180,36],"class_list":["post-394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-exercise","tag-funny-stuff","tag-postpartum","tag-running"],"yoast_head":"\n