{"id":47,"date":"2012-06-18T08:38:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-18T08:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/06\/a-cross-to-bear\/"},"modified":"2016-09-29T16:43:31","modified_gmt":"2016-09-29T20:43:31","slug":"a-cross-to-bear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2012\/06\/a-cross-to-bear.html","title":{"rendered":"A Cross to Bear"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n

When I was going through RCIA, the Church celebrated a welcome rite. It wasn\u2019t the actual conversion, just a rite of welcome at a Sunday morning Mass for those of us planning to enter the Church at Easter. In the rite, the priest asked each of us what we would ask of the Church. I think I said \u201cbaptism\u201d, but since I wasn\u2019t expecting a quiz I could have said \u201cfree wine every Sunday\u201d for all I remember. It was a deer-in-the-headlights moment, made worse by the fact that I was eight months pregnant and suddenly had to sneeze, and I was trying not to because I knew that if I sneezed I would pee my pants.<\/p>\n

What I do remember was my father-in-law, the aptly named Ever-Teacher, having a long talk with me afterward about what I should <\/i>have asked. He said that I should have asked to share in the burden of the cross, since that what\u2019s conversion really is. Conversion never ends, <\/i>I remember him saying. You\u2019ll be carrying a cross the rest of your life. The only thing that will change is how much of a burden you are strong enough to bear.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

I listened, and nodded at the appropriate moments, but what I was really thinking was, \u201cMan, my father-in-law is the biggest joy-killer on the planet. He could take the whitest cloud in the sky and find a threatening darkness in it. Also, I really have to pee again.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve thought that about my father-in-law for a long time. There is no success in our lives that he lets pass without pointing out the danger therein; but likewise, there is never a failure or a tragedy that he can\u2019t find the grace in. I\u2019ve always taken the latter for granted while being annoyed and rankled by the former. \u201cWhy can\u2019t he just let us be happy for five minutes?\u201d I grumbled bitterly to the Ogre when we got a long talk on the dangers of Catholic higher education after getting a job at Ave Maria. \u201cHe ruins everything!\u201d<\/p>\n

This morning I sat down to check some blogs and found an unexpected, delightful surprise. Leah of Unequally Yoked <\/i>made the announcement this morning that she will be bringing her keen intellect, her fabulous writing, her great sense of humor and her unparalleled charity from the Atheist channel at Patheos to the Catholic channel.\u00a0 In one of the greatest \u201cI\u2019ve logic-ed myself right across the Tiber\u201d moments ever, she had a conversation with a friend that went like this:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard some explanations that try to bake morality into the natural world by reaching for evolutionary psychology. \u00a0They argue that moral dispositions are\u00a0evolutionarily\u00a0triumphant over selfishness, or they talk about group selection, or something else. \u00a0Usually, these proposed solutions radically misunderstand a) evolution b) moral philosophy or c) both. \u00a0I didn\u2019t think the answer was there. \u00a0My friend pressed me to stop beating up on other people\u2019s explanations and offer one of my own.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I said. \u00a0\u201dI\u2019ve got bupkis.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYour best guess.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t got one.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou must have <\/em>some idea.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. \u00a0I\u2019ve got nothing. \u00a0I guess Morality just <\/em>loves me or something.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOk, ok, yes, I heard what I just said. \u00a0Give me a second and let me decide if I believe it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It turns out I did.<\/i><\/p>\n

(Read the rest here)<\/a> <\/i><\/p>\n

My first reaction was shock, because I honestly did not think that Leah would ever convert. There are some things about Catholicism that require pure faith, and I always thought those would prove to be the Achilles\u2019 heel in her quest for truth. I think I underestimated her belief in objective Morality. I may have underestimated everything about her, actually, because if I were a popular Atheist blogger who decided to convert I\u2019d probably do so under a rock to avoid all the nastiness that would doubtless follow a public announcement. Atheists\u2019 ability to be nasty to Catholics is surpassed only by Catholics\u2019 ability to be nasty to each other. But she\u2019s converting openly, moving her blog publicly, and probably checking her comment box with an unprecedented level of trepidation.<\/p>\n

So I was thrilled, right? I saw all the comments from Catholics that said, \u201cWelcome Home!\u201d and wanted to add my voice to theirs, right? I was over the moon, right, and delighted?<\/p>\n

Not exactly.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m utterly and completely overjoyed to welcome another convert into the fold, especially a gem like Leah. But I read her post and the comments and I winced a little, because\u2026because it\u2019s all going to be so painful.<\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t that it\u2019s not worth it. It isn\u2019t that truth isn\u2019t worth the pain we have to suffer for it. But converting hurts. My father-in-law is a convert too, a convert who lost his family and the wider Greek Orthodox culture that he was raised in when he converted. He is a convert who knows pain, who knows persecution, who knows what it is to suffer for the Truth. And as happy as he was that his daughter-in-law was converting all those years ago, he knew the pain of the journey and the cross that I would have to bear.<\/p>\n

I felt the same way when I read Leah\u2019s post this morning. Converting cost me a bond with my parents and brothers and sister that I will most likely never get back. Converting put a rift between my family and the family that raised me. Converting cost me friends. Conversion requires sacrifice and suffering, no matter what, no matter who you are or where you come from. And Leah, who has been such a respected Athiest blogger, is probably going to catch hell for this.<\/p>\n

I think I understand, for the first time, where my father-in-law is coming from. He doesn\u2019t rain all over our parades on purpose. He doesn\u2019t try to squash all our happiness on principle. He just knows that suffering is real and unavoidable, and he wants us to know it too, so we won\u2019t be caught off-guard and unaware when it comes for us. Knowing that Leah now has a cross to bear doesn\u2019t dampens the joy I feel at her announcement, though, not in the least. I\u2019m so excited to follow her journey at Patheos. Maybe what I feel for her is simple human empathy\u2026knowing the journey will be long and hard, and wishing it didn\u2019t have to be.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, I hope you\u2019ll go over to her blog <\/a>and say something kind to balance out the criticism. I\u2019ve written a few posts where I found myself nauseated every time I got a new comment, unsure whether I should even look because it would either be praise or profound condemnation. Every kind comment was like a balm to the soul, and I have a feeling Leah will need as much support in the coming months as we can give her.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was going through RCIA, the Church celebrated a welcome rite. It wasn\u2019t the actual conversion, just a rite of welcome at a Sunday morning Mass for those of us planning to enter the Church at Easter. In the rite, the priest asked each of us what we would ask of the Church. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nA Cross to Bear<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I was going through RCIA, the Church celebrated a welcome rite. 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