{"id":4890,"date":"2015-02-24T12:05:49","date_gmt":"2015-02-24T17:05:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=4890"},"modified":"2015-02-24T12:07:21","modified_gmt":"2015-02-24T17:07:21","slug":"a-better-painevil-scale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2015\/02\/a-better-painevil-scale.html","title":{"rendered":"A Better Pain\/Evil Scale"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

On Sunday, my daughters were drawing on our erstwhile chore board. When I was mopping yesterday, I happened to notice what they had drawn. So I took a picture, because it was disturbing.<\/p>\n

\"20150223_150625\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The pain scale is Sienna\u2019s creation, clearly inspired by repeated viewings of Big Hero 6 (which is my new favorite movie, btw). I\u2019m pretty impressed by how much she picked up on the idea that pain scales are rubbish, since #8 appears to be suffering 3rd degree burns, and #10\u2019s flesh is literally melting off his smiley face. Her pain scale wants to be Allie Brosh\u2019s pain scale when it grows up:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
\n
(Image via Allie Brosh<\/a>)
\n<\/b><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Anyway, the pain scale is not the disturbing part. The disturbing part is Charlotte\u2019s scale, which she drew along the bottom. Here\u2019s a close-up:<\/p>\n

\"20150223_150817\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At first I thought that she was just trying to imitate what her sister had drawn, and hadn\u2019t quite grasped the concept of a scale. But as I tried to reconcile the series of smiley faces with the seemingly unrelated figure on the right, it dawned on me that she had indeed grasped the concept of a scale \u2014 hers just wasn\u2019t a pain scale.<\/p>\n

It was an evil<\/em> scale.<\/p>\n

Seriously, look at it. The series of smiley faces gets gradually wider and more deranged, until the straight-up jack o\u2019lantern face of ultimate evil. And what happens when the faces can get no eviller?<\/p>\n

Someone gets hung.<\/p>\n

I tried desperately to rationalize the hanging man in a way that would get me off the hook for instilling such reprehensible moral formation in a 6-year-old fairy princess. I finally decided that he was either being hung because he was evil, or he was being hung by someone who was evil. The first one would at least assure me that Charlotte understood that the end result of evil is, uh, the death penalty, but the second one would be a fairly good indication that I needed to call a child psychiatrist, and maybe an exorcist.<\/p>\n

So I decided to ask her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Charlotte?\u201d I said, with no little amount of trepidation. \u201cCan you tell me about your drawing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Mommy!\u201d Charlotte said sweetly, dancing her way over to the board. \u201cSienna drew faces getting sadder, so I decided to draw them getting happier.\u201d<\/p>\n

Relief. Blessed relief. \u201cOh, that\u2019s wonderful!\u201d I said with way <\/em>too much enthusiasm. \u201cBut \u2014 but what\u2019s this guy here? Why is he hanging?\u201d<\/p>\n

Charlotte stomped indignantly. \u201cThat\u2019s Baymax, <\/em>and he\u2019s not hanging, he\u2019s flying!\u00a0<\/em>Anyone <\/em>can see that!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sienna, who had wandered over behind Charlotte to listen, looked at me doubtfully. \u201cIt\u2019s pretty obvious that it\u2019s Baymax, Mom, and it doesn\u2019t look anything like a hanging man. Is there\u2026is there something wrong with you \u2014 like, are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

So maybe I\u2019ll just be calling my own psychiatrist, then. Thanks, kids.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Sunday, my daughters were drawing on our erstwhile chore board. When I was mopping yesterday, I happened to notice what they had drawn. So I took a picture, because it was disturbing. The pain scale is Sienna\u2019s creation, clearly inspired by repeated viewings of Big Hero 6 (which is my new favorite movie, btw). […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[78,81,163],"class_list":["post-4890","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-delightful-absurdity","tag-funny-stuff","tag-the-minions"],"yoast_head":"\nA Better Pain\/Evil Scale<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"On Sunday, my daughters were drawing on our erstwhile chore board. When I was mopping yesterday, I happened to notice what they had drawn. 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