{"id":5101,"date":"2015-09-12T12:55:42","date_gmt":"2015-09-12T16:55:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/?p=5101"},"modified":"2015-09-12T12:55:42","modified_gmt":"2015-09-12T16:55:42","slug":"7-quickie-takes-saturday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/barefootandpregnant\/2015\/09\/7-quickie-takes-saturday.html","title":{"rendered":"7 Quickie Takes Saturday"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I feel so much better after my last post<\/a> that I decided to join up with quick takes, something that is whimsical and fun and that I used to do religiously but that I haven\u2019t done in ages because I\u2019ve been the opposite of whimsical and fun.<\/p>\n

\"Notime\"<\/a>
Damn straight, Sweet Brown<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

#7<\/p>\n

Speaking of my last post, this is what I got in return for it:<\/p>\n

\"20150912_105419[1]\"<\/a>
Never mind the gymnastics legs in the background<\/figcaption><\/figure>Yup, another awesome Ave mom bought me flowers, because 1) she\u2019s completely amazing and I love her and 2) she knows that there is nothing better than orange flowers, and she liked my post.<\/p>\n

Also I got a bunch of messages from other Ave moms being like, \u201cyessssss that was great and I feel the SAME WAY ps let\u2019s have a playdate where we do shots and ignore our kids!\u201d<\/p>\n

THIS IS WHAT I\u2019M TALKING ABOUT, MOTHERS OF AVE MARIA. What are we doing, hiding in our homes and pretending to be shining our silver or something, and offering each other tea and crumpets? No no no no no! We must band together and let our freak flags fly! We will be so much happier, and our children will enjoy knowing that they are not the only products of happy dysfunction!<\/p>\n

#6<\/p>\n

This shall be my freak flag:<\/p>\n

\"lovejesusshirt\"<\/a>
Here\u2019s a handy link in case you want to buy it for me!<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I solemnly swear to only wear it on days when I have neither showered nor organized the sock drawer. (So days that end in y, basically.)<\/p>\n

#5<\/p>\n

Speaking of letting my freak flag fly, yesterday I took Sienna to school because I had a midwife appointment in Naples. Taking her to school means leaving the house at 6:30, and I since I hadn\u2019t showered in a few days I decided it would be in the interest of basic hygiene to do so, so I got up at 5:15.<\/p>\n

This was such a horrible experience that I forgot to fulfill other requirements of basic hygiene, like putting on deodorant, which I realized when I was in car line to drop Sienna off. Equal parts amused and appalled by this blatant oversight (we do live in a sub-tropical climate, after all \u2014 deodorant is kind of essential), I sent the Ogre a text message that said, \u201cI forgot to put deodorant on\u201d.<\/p>\n

Except I didn\u2019t send it to the Ogre at all. I accidentally sent it to the last person I had text messaged, a mom down the street whom I had been making plans to go to the beach with.<\/p>\n

#4<\/p>\n

\"most<\/a><\/p>\n

I found this meme just now and thought it was perfect, and hilarious, so I put it here. And now I\u2019m having doubts, like, \u201cis there some kind of sexual innuendo here that I\u2019m not getting, that\u2019s totally appalling and will horrify my readers and make them think I\u2019m either a total perv or a total moron?\u201d<\/p>\n

This never used to happen to me on the internet, but lately it seems like it\u2019s happening a lot. I really hope this is simply because I\u2019m overthinking things and not because I\u2019m getting old and out of touch. Please reassure me in the comments.<\/p>\n

#3<\/p>\n

Speaking of innuendo, you might notice the word \u201cquickie\u201d in the title. That\u2019s because I wrote the title yesterday, right after the Ogre came home at lunchtime.<\/p>\n

Listen, having only one child home during the day who is content to watch back-to-back episodes of Power Rangers<\/em> is the best thing ever<\/em>. Nooners are fantastic, and I don\u2019t care how much I have to burn my feminist card after admitting that I love it when my husband comes home for\u2026.a \u201csandwich\u201d. And then an actual sandwich.\u00a0 Wives of the world, embrace this. It will make your life 1000% happier and sexier.<\/p>\n

Also, this quickie take doesn\u2019t qualify as \u201cinnuendo\u201d so much as \u201cblatant oversharing\u201d. You\u2019re welcome!<\/p>\n

#2<\/p>\n

Speaking of sandwiches, though, mine was extremely disappointing because we were out of vegetables. This is not innuendo, I\u2019m seriously complaining about my sandwich because I\u2019m pregnant and food is HIGH on my list of priorities. One of the reasons it\u2019s so high on my list of priorities is because the only thing I want to eat, ever, is piles of goat cheese and piles of vegetables on bagels or bread. Literally, that\u2019s it. If we\u2019re out of any of those things and I\u2019m forced to eat something else, I usually throw it up. Not out of spite, just out of pregnancy. But maybe a little out of spite, too.<\/p>\n

One happy result of this is that I\u2019ve only gained 3 pounds, which is great because at 21 weeks I\u2019m usually as big as a house. This morning, the Ogre even noticed that he could still feel my rib cage. I was like, \u201cI know, right?! Usually you can\u2019t feel my ribcage at, like, 6<\/em> weeks!\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to pretend that his raised eyebrows were a result of skepticism at my overexaggeration, instead of underexaggeration, because honestly I kind of forgot I had a ribcage until recently.<\/p>\n

I do, though! Thanks for the reminder, Stormageddon!<\/p>\n

#1<\/p>\n

\"stormageddon\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I know, Matt Smith. Like all babies, mine is magical and terrifying and has kicked me in morse code enough to let me know that until further notice, he\/she is to be known as Stormageddon. Until Tuesday, at least, when we find out if Stormy is a boy or a girl.<\/p>\n

You better be a girl, Stormageddon, because I\u2019m done getting pee on my face. That trick is wearing a wee bit old after 2 back-to-back penis-bearing babies. Just sayin<\/em>\u2018.<\/p>\n

\"big<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>

\n<\/p>

\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I feel so much better after my last post that I decided to join up with quick takes, something that is whimsical and fun and that I used to do religiously but that I haven\u2019t done in ages because I\u2019ve been the opposite of whimsical and fun. #7 Speaking of my last post, this is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-5101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-7-quick-takes-friday"],"yoast_head":"\n7 Quickie Takes Saturday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I feel so much better after my last post that I decided to join up with quick takes, something that is whimsical and fun and that I used to do religiously\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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