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<\/a><\/p>\n#7<\/p>\n
I\u2019m listening to the Pogues right now. I\u2019ve been on a Pogues kick lately, and I finally made my own Pogues playlist on YouTube after several frustrating attempts to listen to other people\u2019s disorganized ones. Mine is perfect. It\u2019s very short, only ten songs, but they\u2019re my favorite ten, and they flow seamlessly from high-spirited to slightly melancholy to downright depressing. As it should be. I seriously wonder about these people who can actually listen to \u201cWhiskey You\u2019re the Devil\u201d immediately after \u201cThe Band Played Waltzing Matilda\u201d. It\u2019s just irreverent.<\/p>\n #6<\/p>\n So the Olympics start today, and I\u2019m pining for a television of our very own. It\u2019s times like these, when the Olympics are on and when It\u2019s a Wonderful Life <\/em>plays incessantly for all of December, that I keenly feel the absence of a television.<\/p>\n That\u2019s such a lie. I feel it all the time. I love TV, which is exactly why we don\u2019t have one.<\/p>\n #5<\/p>\n But I really do have fond memories of Olympic summers. My favorite was when Kerri Strug won the gold by breaking her ankle. (I think there was a good vault in there somewhere but mostly people remember her for bravely choosing a gold medal over the integrity of her own bones.) We were on vacation at the Lake of the Ozarks that summer, and we all forsook the bright sun and glittering lake in favor of huddling around the small hotel TV to see how the gymnastics competition turned out (since, let\u2019s be honest, that\u2019s the only event anyone really cares about).<\/p>\n We all cheered, shouted and high-fived each other when she stuck that last landing before collapsing, and I actually teared up when Bela Karolyi carried her up to receive the medal. Even at the tender age of twelve, I recognized an iconic Olympic moment when I saw one.<\/p>\n #4<\/p>\n Speaking of iconic Olympians, did y\u2019all know that Jason Statham was an Olympic diver for the UK? And that he later said that being an Olympic diver was \u201cjust a silly hobby?\u201d <\/a><\/p>\n That really makes me question my own silly hobbies. I think watching The Big Bang Theory <\/em>is a silly hobby; Jason Statham thinks being one of a handful of the world\u2019s top athletes is a silly hobby. I think occasionally twisting some wire into a pair of earrings is a silly hobby; Jason Statham thinks jumping off a high-dive and performing a complex series of flips and twists before slicing neatly through the surface of the water is a silly hobby.<\/p>\n But then I remember that he starred in Crank<\/em>, and I feel much better about myself. And then I remember that he also starred in Crank 2<\/em>, and I wonder if Jason Statham actually knows what the phrase \u201csilly hobby\u201d mean.<\/p>\n #3<\/p>\n Most of our neighbors have been out of town for the summer, trying to escape the oppressive heat. It\u2019s been like a ghost town around here. I\u2019ve been starting to wonder if I somehow fell into the last two episodes of Season 2 of Supernatural<\/em>, when Sam is stuck in the bleak, empty, \u201cmost haunted town in America.\u201d Seriously. I half-expect to see little demon girls around every corner, just waiting to scratch my eyes out.<\/p>\n Luckily no creepy demons showed up, but our neighbors are finally returning. It\u2019s such a relief. I don\u2019t think I realized how depressing it was to be surrounded by empty houses.<\/p>\n #2<\/p>\n So some evil hornets have begun building a series of nests by our front door. This is a serious problem for me because I\u2019m terrified of hornets and the Ogre isn\u2019t here to spray them for me.<\/p>\n Terminix is coming to do a quarterly treatement on Wednesday, but I\u2019m wondering if I should wait that long to deal with them. Additionally, I\u2019m not sure that I can handle the adrenalin rush of pure terror that I have to face every time we walk out the front door and try to dart to the car without the hornets noticing and emerging to brutally sting us to death.<\/p>\n The worst part about it is that the kids don\u2019t seem to understand the life-threatening situation they face each time we leave or return to the house. I scream, cajole, and threaten, and yet they mosey. They stop and look at the lizards in the bushes. They pick up leaves and bend down to tie their shoes. And all the while I have to battle my instinct for self-preservation, which compels me to dart inside, slam the door, and let them fend for themselves, and my protective instincts, which compel me to huddle half-in the door, anxiously watching for any sign of hornet activity while yelling at the kids to\u00a0move it, right now,\u00a0<\/em>because don\u2019t they understand that if the hornets come out\u00a0we\u2019ll all die horrible, painful, excruciating deaths? <\/em><\/p>\n Then Sienna calls me a chicken, and I internally curse the Ogre\u2019s genetic code for giving me children who have loads <\/em>of their father\u2019s stoicism and almost none of my natural wimpiness. All I want is one child who runs, terrified, with me into the house when anything which both flies and buzzes comes within 20 feet of us. Instead, I have children who laugh and point and call me a wimp. Is that fair, I ask you?<\/p>\n #1<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/a>