Baby Gaga<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\nPregnancy makes us women crazy. We do weird and inexplicable things when we\u2019re pregnant, things that don\u2019t even make sense to us.<\/p>\n
Last night, I decided that 4:16 a.m. was a perfectly reasonable time to wake my husband up for some boot knockin\u2019. He didn\u2019t object, obviously, but he did seem a bit confused when I immediately broke into hysterical sobs afterward.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey\u201d, <\/i>he asked in his gentlest navigating-a-hormonal-minefield voice, \u201cwhat\u2019s wrong? Why are you crying?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cN-n-n-othing\u2019s wrong\u201c, <\/i>I sobbed, \u201cI just had a really b-b-b-ad dream!\u201d (shudder, heave, sob, snort)<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d <\/i>the Ogre asked while stroking my hair.
<\/i>
\u201cThe army shot you\u2026but that wasn\u2019t the bad p-p-part!\u201d <\/i>I wailed<\/i>.<\/p>\n
He tried really hard to stifle a laugh before saying, \u201cso if the army shooting me wasn\u2019t the bad part, what was?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe bad part,\u201d <\/i>I managed to choke out after a fresh round of hysteria, \u201cwas that you were cheating on me with an eighteen-year-old blond, and you took our whole family to meet her, and you kept insisting that you weren\u2019t cheating with her but of course you were because she had you wearing Hawaiian shirts<\/i>!\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n
The Ogre burst into laughter at that point because, well, who wouldn\u2019t? I grumpily insisted that it \u201cwasn\u2019t funny\u201d, but he said, \u201coh, come on, of course it\u2019s funny.\u201d<\/p>\n
My sobbing finally subsided and I grudgingly admitted, \u201cI guess it\u2019s a little funny now, but it wasn\u2019t funny when I was forced to watch you prance around in a green Hawaiian shirt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/i><\/b> <\/i><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The old header on my blog\u2026via Baby Gaga Pregnancy makes us women crazy. We do weird and inexplicable things when we\u2019re pregnant, things that don\u2019t even make sense to us. Last night, I decided that 4:16 a.m. was a perfectly reasonable time to wake my husband up for some boot knockin\u2019. He didn\u2019t object, obviously, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1110,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n