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#7<\/p>\n
I would have written these yesterday, but the Ogre thoughtfully brought home the newest and hottest cold that the college kids are passing around here in Ave. Luckily for us, it\u2019s going down in history as being my favorite cold of all time, because our whole family went from being fine to feverish and sore throat-ey to hacking up a lung and moaning in distress and then back to being almost fine again in about 24 hours. It was the fastest-moving cold in history, and I kind of want to bottle it and keep it for the next time we have to get sick. It was like the most magical of colds.<\/p>\n Plus, I spent the whole day yesterday watching Lord of the Rings with the kids, which is one of my favorite sick day activities. It was great, right up until the Ogre said this:<\/p>\n Where do we know him from?<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/em>in response to the first appearance of this guy:<\/p>\n Eomer, one of my most favorite characters ever. (I have a thing for long hair. It\u2019s just a personality trait. Even therapy didn\u2019t help.)<\/p>\n #6<\/p>\n So you guys know that I\u2019m the one that feels this way about TV, not the Ogre, right? Since that\u2019s the case, usually it\u2019s me who catches these little actor cross-over roles. The Ogre usually tells me I\u2019m wrong until I prove it to him with my handy Google machine. So I was surprised when he insisted that we had seen Eomer in something else.\u201dNo, we haven\u2019t!\u201d I insisted back. \u201cTrust me, I would know if I had seen him in something else by the rapid increase in the beating of my heart!\u201d He rolled his eyes and decided to prove it to me, using the Google machine, natch.<\/p>\n He pulled up IMDB and showed me this picture:<\/p>\n and my heart stopped. Not in the good way, either.<\/p>\n #5<\/p>\n Because now every time I see my once-beloved Eomer, all I\u2019m going to be able to think about is this guy ^ going, \u201cDammit, Jim!\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s Bones, y\u2019all. Leonard McFreakingCoy. Nobody crushes on Bones<\/em>. It\u2019s like, genetically impossible. Captain Kirk, yeah. Sulu? Hell yeah. Spock? I guess if you can get over the elf-ears and lack of accompanying long hair. I can even understand someone, somewhere, thinking that Russian kid whose name I can\u2019t ever remember is crush-worthy. (Maybe) But Bones? No. No way. It\u2019s like having a crush on your extremely grumpy and bitter neighbor who stands on his front porch and complains all day. Impossible.<\/p>\n And now, because my husband had to go and identify the terrible Eomer\/Bones crossover, I can no longer enjoy pretty much the totality of The Two Towers<\/em>.<\/p>\n Orlando Bloom better not pick an unfortunate role reprisal anytime in the future, or Lord of the Rings<\/em> will basically be ruined for me.<\/p>\n #4<\/p>\n And I do mean \u201cbest.\u201d<\/p>\n (Yes, that was massively inappropriate sexual innuendo. Feel free to laugh and\/or close my blog in disgust now.)<\/p>\n #3<\/p>\n Everyone just needs to CALM DOWN. Seriously. We need to distribute Valium on a massive scale, I think, to anyone who writes or reads or, for the love of all that\u2019s holy, comments on the internet about politics. Massive scale. Think \u201cHHS Mandate\u201d, but actually productive, and violating nobody\u2019s consciences.<\/p>\n Or maybe we could just slip it in everyone\u2019s flu shots. Isn\u2019t it about time for flu shots? Surely some entrepreneuring pharmaceutical company can develop a long-acting form of Valium that will last us through January and the inevitable inauguration of whoever\u2019s going to TOTALLY DESTROY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT !<\/p>\n See, look. It\u2019s even affecting me. Valium, anyone?<\/p>\n #2<\/p>\n And this time, no awful commenters can dive into the combox and wave the inevitable, \u201cYou first, sucka!\u201d flag as if it were actually a trump card that defeated my argument<\/a>. Because dude. I will totally<\/em> beta-test the long-acting form of political Valium.<\/p>\n (After I have the baby. There, now put down the phones and let\u2019s let CPS have a nice weekend, yeah?)<\/p>\n #1<\/p>\n Not to get into the whole abortion debate on a quick takes (if you want to know my take on that, go here<\/a> or here<\/a>), but it never fails to boggle my mind that the same country in which people loudly defend the right to kill infants in utero is also full of people who feel perfectly secure refusing to serve pregnant women alcohol or sniping at them if they see them popping a pill (really, I\u2019ve heard of women getting crap from people for taking Tylenol). I even had the barista at Starbucks last week say, \u201cyou want that decaf, right?\u201d while pointedly looking at my belly. I said, \u201chell no. I want the caffeine, please, and so does the baby. He likes it. It makes him dance.\u201d<\/p>\n She did not think that was funny. I did.<\/p>\n (I\u2019m not saying pregnant women everywhere should feel free to pop pills all day or down a box of wine, but the very fact that I feel the need to add this disclaimer pretty much proves the point I\u2019m trying to make, which is: everyone needs to chill out.)<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/a>In other news, I\u2019m still pregnant, despite my best efforts.<\/p>\n<\/a>Is anyone else sick to death of politics? I know there are important things going on in the world right now (and by \u201cimportant\u201d I mean \u201chorrific\u201d) and I\u2019m not advocating sticking my head in the sand (or the gin bottle, were I not pregnant) and ignoring it. It\u2019s just that in my quest to stay informed about politics I find myself wanting to take a shower every time I read basically anything about politics.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n