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{"id":30843,"date":"2019-07-06T09:11:21","date_gmt":"2019-07-06T13:11:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/?p=30843"},"modified":"2019-07-06T08:43:47","modified_gmt":"2019-07-06T12:43:47","slug":"ennui-a-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/2019\/07\/06\/ennui-a-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"Ennui— A Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

ENNUI<\/p>\n

There is a death before death
\nBefore the dying of the light,
\nWhen the mind refuses to think
\nThe heart refuses to hope
\nThe will refuses to act,
\nAnd all the creative juices refuse to flow. <\/p>\n

More a dearth than a death
\nMore an emptiness than a void
\nMore an absence of the Presence
\nThan a presence of the absence
\nMore a quiet that is disquieting
\nTo an ever-restless soul <\/p>\n

What can one say,
\nWhen words fail?
\nWhat can one feel
\nWith a hardened heart?
\nWhat can one will
\nWhen the doing is one\u2019s undoing?<\/p>\n

A small voice
\nAlmost like an echo says
\n\u2018Be still and know that I am God\u2019<\/p>\n

Have I mistaken stillness for silence?
\nMust I be still and silent
\nIn order to hear THAT voice?
\nOr make that choice?
\nOr try to rejoice?
\nIn the midst of emptiness?<\/p>\n

Perhaps it\u2019s true that
\nBoredom is simply a lack of imagination
\nAnd ennui a self-indulgent feeling
\nIn which case\u2026.. <\/p>\n

I do not say \u2018save me\u2019
\nBut rather \u2018save me from myself
\nMy self-indulgence
\nMy self-pity
\nMy heart turned in upon itself\u2019!<\/p>\n

I remember Lewis\u2019s words\u2026.
\n\u2018one cannot fall in love with one\u2019s self
\nBut if, in a fit of narcissism
\nOne does\u2014
\nit will be a monotonous
\ncourtship.\u2019<\/p>\n

True\u2026..so I am hereby still
\nAnd still here
\nAnd still hear\u2026.
\nThe still small voice,
\nAfter all. <\/p>\n

BW3
\nOn my father\u2019s birthday
\nMay 31th <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"