The Message of Love-- Part Twenty Two<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"BEN: On p. 153 you say that discipleship is in the end about who or what we love most dearly? I thought it was about taking up our cross and following\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Message of Love-- Part Twenty Two\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"BEN: On p. 153 you say that discipleship is in the end about who or what we love most dearly? 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{"id":35462,"date":"2020-03-23T01:17:44","date_gmt":"2020-03-23T05:17:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/?p=35462"},"modified":"2020-03-05T14:19:24","modified_gmt":"2020-03-05T19:19:24","slug":"the-message-of-love-part-twenty-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/2020\/03\/23\/the-message-of-love-part-twenty-two\/","title":{"rendered":"The Message of Love– Part Twenty Two"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

PATRICK: I\u2019m zoning in on Jesus\u2019 words demanding that disciples love him before any other commitment, even family. This echoes God\u2019s command to Israel to love him with heart, soul and strength (which has Christological implications but that\u2019s another story). Love in this sense is wholehearted allegiance. This is costly love \u2013 it\u2019s going to mean self-sacrifice, serving others, being willing to endure persecution. No other \u2018gods\u2019 are to get in the way. This is why I argue that discipleship is first and foremost a matter of the heart \u2013 which is why I\u2019m sometimes dismayed by \u2018cookie cutter\u2019 discipleship programs that seem to be mostly about about information and techniques but assume that our hearts are already rightly orientated. That\u2019s a big assumption, especially in a Western consumer culture.<\/p>\n

BEN: There seems to be a clear tension in Jesus\u2019 teaching between the physical or birth family and the family of faith, with the latter getting priority in Jesus\u2019 teaching. Honestly, I don\u2019t know of many churches who really teach or practice life that way. Instead, the church is all about nurturing the nuclear family rather than BEING a family. Where have we gone wrong, and what\u2019s the remedy, do you think?<\/p>\n

PATRICK: Jesus is deliberately shocking to his listeners: \u201cAnyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me\u201d (Matt 10:37). Contrary to Messianic expectations his \u2018sword\u2019 will divide families. Disciples are to love Jesus first, before even our deepest other loves. This is perhaps one of his hardest sayings, especially in a Western culture that tends to idolize the family as the source of fulfillment and happiness. We invest immense significance in finding the \u2018right\u2019 person, and children are a source of ultimate significance to parents. I know I\u2019m generalizing, but I agree with you that the church has bought pretty uncritically into this narrative. The family is seen as the goal, those who don\u2019t fit in are marginalized in a hundred different ways. A remedy first requires a diagnosis. Once the issue is recognized (and it\u2019s often not) then it\u2019s a question of leadership to teach and model a different narrative within the church family. One that celebrates singleness as much as marriage. One that teaches about marriage NOT as a private relationship between autonomous individuals \u2018in love\u2019 who construct their private nuclear family, but a porous relationship that is orientated outwards for the good of others in hospitality, service and friendship.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"