{"id":61316,"date":"2023-12-22T01:12:44","date_gmt":"2023-12-22T06:12:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/?p=61316"},"modified":"2023-12-10T06:18:21","modified_gmt":"2023-12-10T11:18:21","slug":"forgiveness-it-does-a-body-and-brain-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/bibleandculture\/2023\/12\/22\/forgiveness-it-does-a-body-and-brain-good\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness– It Does a Body and Brain Good"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

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Jesus from the cross\u2014 \u2018Father forgiven them for they know not what they are doing\u2019.<\/p>\n

The following is an excerpt from an article on CNN on Dec. 10th.<\/p>\n

\u201cRobert Enright, who has been studying forgiveness for nearly four decades and is cofounder of the nonprofit International Forgiveness Institute, said there is plenty of evidence<\/a>\u00a0that shows the act has psychological benefits, including reducing anger, anxiety and depression. Forgiveness also has a positive impact on our health, including lower blood pressure, better sleep, lower levels of stress-induced inflammation and a stronger immune system.<\/p>\n

Enright \u2014 who has worked with foreign governments, incest and rape survivors, terminally ill cancer patients, incarcerated individuals, and children in war-affected areas \u2014 said it\u2019s not about forgive and forget; it\u2019s about forgive and remember.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember in new ways, without the rancor, without the rage welling up inside us again,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s like if you\u2019ve injured your knee and at the time there\u2019s great pain and there\u2019s confusion. But when you look back on that, five years now down the road, you remember what happened \u2014\u00a0but it\u2019s not with the same kind of pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Being a nice person is not the same as being kind. Why the difference is so important<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Of course, that\u2019s easier said than done. To help people consciously cultivate forgiveness, Enright, also a prolific book author, developed a process model of forgiveness\u00a0that lays out steps to get there. \u201cAt the very end of this (process), you are the one who is healed,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

And, according to Enright, the more you forgive, the better you get at it. \u201cForgiveness improves the more you practice it. And if you practice forgiveness in the every-day situations of your own family, your own neighborhood, your own community, then you\u2019re getting better,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you practice forgiveness in the small ways, you\u2019re actually building up a liking of it, a familiarity (to) it, so that when the tough things of life come, you are more ready because you know the pathway, you like the pathway, and forgiveness is part of your life,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

So, how do you get started? Here are Enright\u2019s five top tips (edited for length):<\/p>\n

Evaluate whether it\u2019s the right time to forgive<\/h3>\n

How do you know when it\u2019s time to forgive? It may be the opposite of what you\u2019re thinking.<\/p>\n

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\u201cIf your anger is intense and long-lasting, and you have tried everything to heal, you might consider forgiving those who treated you unfairly,\u201d Enright wrote in an email. \u201cWhen we are treated very unjustly by others, there can be negative effects on us such as intense anger, sadness, and confusion. Sometimes the intense anger can last for many months and even many years.\u201d<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/form>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s normal to not be able to jump into forgiveness right away, he said. \u201cForgiveness occurs when we\u2019ve settled in our heart to some degree and have had a chance to be angry.\u00a0<\/em>And for those who are ready \u2014 some will be, many will not \u2014 the pathway of forgiveness should be freely chosen, and it can be deeply healing.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Is there such a thing as too much gratitude? Turns out sometimes less is more<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Understand what forgiveness is \u2014 and isn\u2019t<\/h3>\n

Forgiving isn\u2019t excusing the wrong, necessarily reconciling with the other person or abandoning the quest for fairness, Enright said. Rather, \u201cto forgive is to offer mercy toward those who acted unfairly.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is done in three steps. The first is to cultivate over time new thought patterns about the person who harmed you. Next is to cultivate over time fewer negative and more positive feelings about the person \u2014 which Enright said \u201ccannot be simply willed into existence.\u201d<\/p>\n

The third step is to engage in fewer negative and more positive behaviors toward the person. This includes \u201cdo no harm\u201d to the other (for example, don\u2019t roll your eyes when they talk) and maybe even offering a kind word about the person to others.<\/p>\n

Expect the process to take time<\/h3>\n

For some people, forgiving comes quickly, even spontaneously, but for most, Enright said, \u201cthe pathway to forgiving is like a journey that you walk each day and this process can take time.\u201d<\/p>\n

To start on that pathway, he suggested using his organization\u2019s\u00a0process model<\/a>. It\u2019s broken down into four phases: examining the effects on you from the person\u2019s injustice; committing to start forgiving the person; expanding your understanding of the other person, including their wounds and their inherent worth; and finding new meaning in your suffering.<\/p>\n

Build up your forgiveness muscle<\/h3>\n

Don\u2019t expect to become Mother Teresa overnight.<\/p>\n

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Family member say something rude? Here\u2019s what to say back, according to experts<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cStart small with those people who have hurt you a little and build up to those who have deeply hurt you,\u201d Enright said.<\/p>\n

As you practice forgiving on a daily basis, you can expect to reap the physical benefits.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you practice forgiveness, the amygdala in the brain reduces signals to the hypothalamus, which eases signals to the pituitary glands, which reduce excessive cortisol levels. This can result in lower levels of anxiety and depression,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Expect the unexpected<\/h3>\n

As you deepen your forgiveness practice, you may experience paradoxical results, Enright said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you offer the positive qualities of kindness and even love to those who were unfair, then you yourself can experience the positive qualities of increased self-esteem, more hope for the future, and improved relationships,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Because you are activating and strengthening different regions of your brain, Enright said, practicing forgiveness can also lead to better problem-solving and decision-making, as well as help you grow in empathy and deepen your emotional recovery.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one who hurt you no longer has power over you in that your heart is no longer being controlled by this person\u2019s past actions,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jesus from the cross\u2014 \u2018Father forgiven them for they know not what they are doing\u2019. The following is an excerpt from an article on CNN on Dec. 10th. \u201cRobert Enright, who has been studying forgiveness for nearly four decades and is cofounder of the nonprofit International Forgiveness Institute, said there is plenty of evidence\u00a0that shows […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":61229,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nForgiveness-- It Does a Body and Brain Good<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jesus from the cross--- 'Father forgiven them for they know not what they are doing'. 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